Venting Society and our role in it?

[Toptock]

I apologize for what may come off as cringy. I'm not sure how to phrase this without sounding like a fool.

So I'm always being told both by my coworkers and roommates that I'm boring, i have no motivation to do anything other than go to work and sleep. I don't see society as a clockwork i need to fit in, its just a mass collection of people operating under the same blanket of rules. People can go out and live their lives, but i don't want to, i want to want to, but i will never breach the surface of the social normative. If i know I won't succeed, that I'll always just be *me*. Am i not allowed to isolate myself? Why should i feel an urge to go out into the world and change for everyone else, but not myself? How is that fair? What am i missing?

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

Boring is a judgmental and negating label, and it's got you on the defensive trying to validate yourself. You got shamed. The label said, "You're not enough, and who do you think you are?"

I'm going to avoid your questions for now and instead make a suggestion to turn this around. Ask them a question: "Can you describe what you observe that you label as boring? I sense that you think I should change something about myself, but I need examples in order to consider whether or not I want to or should. I'm willing to listen." And then listen. Ask for clarification. No defensiveness, no justifying yourself, you don't owe that to anyone. When you're isolated again, you can consider what they said at your leisure and if you want to. Ultimately, if you don't want to change and they don't accept you as you are, it's their problem, not yours.

 

[Toptock]

That's insightful and just feels entirely right. Thank you.

 

[TooConscious]

If you're feeling bad because of what others have said stop it now because that's in them. They have their game, you have yours. I gave up trying to even entertain judgemental people like that after I started a new job and one guy said how did I get the job as he new a few going for it and sarcastically said "good fuckin socials?"
Bare in mind I was doing my best to be accomadating to their banter trying to include me. So I said "yesterday when you asked me if I had any hobbies I got distracted to tell you I love going out to eat, ignorant people mainly".
You don't gain popularity but play it correct and they leave you alone.