Social life anxiety - practice?

[Uk2023]

Hello,

I'm in my mid 30's.

I'm noticing a panic now and have an urge to do everything else (clean my home, learn a language, start working out) because I'm avoiding this weekends plans and the prep I might have to do. I feel so awkward and silly in my own home alone.


I haven't socialised at all since November.

I happily shut myself away all winter and said make effort in Spring.

I have the social event - I haven't done the preparation I'm looking at my neglected hair, skin, nails and lack of clothes (and limited funds) and lack of news, energy, excitement.

On the positive - I have time to put it together… it's just right now; so I came here.

Unfortunately I couldn't find a friend for something wholesome (afternoon tea, or lunch or cinema) something I actually want to do! I got sucked back into bar + club and it's a 'cheap' venue so the crowd it attracts. That's all my network does and we are too old for it

I have to go, accept that this is all that is available so just start somewhere (I don't drink much but am happy to be tipsy) they know me so I'm comfortable in there company - that is a huge bonus actually.

I have to put more effort into finding my tribe for wholesome things (I give up on a tribe to share/connect with - just mutual activity buddy will do).

I'm just panicking, avoiding, disappointed and upset right now.

I also can't share much about my goals or needs as they are a selfish and jealous girl group. The quote 'they want to see you do well but not better than them' rings true. When they share I naturally fetch and problem solve and it's taken (appreciated but no gratitude) but NEVER reciprocated - it's like they think they are just magically entitled to sense and support… It is a reality for most of my life with friendships, family and work life. I have learned to just smile and mentally stop, I feel better for it and have some focus for myself; I just don't share it.

I hope to find energy in the week to scrub up and polish, I might even have to rehearse in the mirror and for a few hours just to get some basic feel good concentration. I have never had to push this hard.

I tell myself when younger I just had naturally energy that's now run out.

I wonder now if everyone else practiced in their bedrooms to sing, smile, dance, shrug off negatives and change the topic… I will try a few hours a day (starting tomorrow!)

Thanks for this space to share

 

[Sulyya]

Best of luck. I think sometimes it just clicks back into place.

 

[Uk2023]

Best of luck. I think sometimes it just clicks back into place.

Thanks for the luck

I did it today and found my happy space quite quick!

Even reading my moan back I'm realising it's a flap about nothing

 

[mypersonalhell]

I also can't share much about my goals or needs as they are a selfish and jealous girl group. The quote 'they want to see you do well but not better than them' rings true. When they share I naturally fetch and problem solve and it's taken (appreciated but no gratitude) but NEVER reciprocated - it's like they think they are just magically entitled to sense and support… It is a reality for most of my life with friendships, family and work life. I have learned to just smile and mentally stop, I feel better for it and have some focus for myself; I just don't share it.

That is actually quite sad. But not really suprising with the crab bucket mentality.

Either way feel free to share your goals and accomplishments here on this forum. I wish you good luck.