![lawlietsph](/data/avatars/l/63/63081.jpg?1686236389)
lawlietsph
can we be done here
- May 6, 2023
- 72
I am just so incredibly tired. I've had some moments in the last couple of days where I've felt like I want to fix myself and fix my life. I am a little bit overweight, so I decided to start running and eat less junk food, etc... It's been 3 days and now I am totally falling apart.
Today I woke up and the thoughts came back again. For what? Why? Does it matter? Do I even care? I just want to die.
No matter what I do to improve my life, I am still SOOOOOOOOOOO far behind everyone else. I still don't have a stable income, have zero friends, zero social life, zero energy, zero everything.
I was a tiny bit motivated for 3 days and now I am back where I started.
I am just so so so tired. Why do I even try? It doesn't matter anyway. Everything hurts so much and I am only being delusional thinking that maybe I can look pretty someday.
I fucking hate social media and all the perfect, skinny, rich young people with perfect fucking lives (yes I know it's not perfect but it doesn't help really).
My mind is so fucked up, I became totally obsessed with a famous athlete, thinking that I will make myself pretty and then he will like me. Ffs, am I out of my mind? I am clinging to every kind of hope, the tiniest bit of attention from everyone. I am clinging to toxic people like a dog, because they are giving me crumbs of love and attention.
I just want to be loved, I don't know what it's like to be loved.
Why am I even trying? Why? I just want to sleep and never wake up again.
Why am I such a coward, I can't even bring myself to ctb.
When will this end? Please just make it stop, it hurts to wake up everyday, it hurts to see others being happy, it all just hurts too much.
I even feel bad for texting here because my life is so not worth it and I'm just a waste of oxygen.
Today I woke up and the thoughts came back again. For what? Why? Does it matter? Do I even care? I just want to die.
No matter what I do to improve my life, I am still SOOOOOOOOOOO far behind everyone else. I still don't have a stable income, have zero friends, zero social life, zero energy, zero everything.
I was a tiny bit motivated for 3 days and now I am back where I started.
I am just so so so tired. Why do I even try? It doesn't matter anyway. Everything hurts so much and I am only being delusional thinking that maybe I can look pretty someday.
I fucking hate social media and all the perfect, skinny, rich young people with perfect fucking lives (yes I know it's not perfect but it doesn't help really).
My mind is so fucked up, I became totally obsessed with a famous athlete, thinking that I will make myself pretty and then he will like me. Ffs, am I out of my mind? I am clinging to every kind of hope, the tiniest bit of attention from everyone. I am clinging to toxic people like a dog, because they are giving me crumbs of love and attention.
I just want to be loved, I don't know what it's like to be loved.
Why am I even trying? Why? I just want to sleep and never wake up again.
Why am I such a coward, I can't even bring myself to ctb.
When will this end? Please just make it stop, it hurts to wake up everyday, it hurts to see others being happy, it all just hurts too much.
I even feel bad for texting here because my life is so not worth it and I'm just a waste of oxygen.