Michaelwaev

Michaelwaev

Student
Sep 1, 2020
115
Yeah, decided to go hanging partial in my bathroom as there's a nice disabled handle there... If I don't go through with it, I'm gonna find a better place to hang. This should be my last post. If I'm not back on this site by my birthday (10th), I'm gone. I will of already posted something about ordering SN in that time. I've got a slipknot tied around my neck right now, all I've gotta do is tie it to the handle. I've made a lot of music recompositions I'm really proud of. Went to Church today and I believe that it's the right thing to do. So uh, I'll read a few farewells and then I'll make a good go at it. :)
 
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death137

death137

miserable
Jun 25, 2020
1,166
Hope it go as you plan.
 
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AJ95

AJ95

24/7 sylvia plath
Sep 3, 2020
478
Hope you have a fast, painless journey :heart:
 
E

esse_est_percipi

Enlightened
Jul 14, 2020
1,747
Have you tried practicing before?

Wish you peace
 
Michaelwaev

Michaelwaev

Student
Sep 1, 2020
115
Imma go for full suspension somewhere.
 
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icanhasnick

icanhasnick

Student
Sep 3, 2020
155
All the best in your choice!
 
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Michaelwaev

Michaelwaev

Student
Sep 1, 2020
115
So the noose is set on a tree outside my town, after two failed attempts (rope was too long, feet hit the ground) I'm back for a drink. Second attempt, the rope was kinda long enough, but my feet hit the ground, I couldn't breathe enough, but I was breathing, I'm wondering if the rope isn't thick enough, or maybe the rope that was around my neck needed to be a bit tighter. I'm thinking of watching some hanging and death videos, just so that the dilated fear and awkwardness with me everytime I've killed myself (prelife and living in a bad dream shit) is without me...
I'm optimistic about wanting to do this though... but the fucking rush through my body. When I want to do this the dilation of me inside... it's excitement aswell. I'm one fucking carcass of a thinker.
 
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Ghost2211

Archangel
Jan 20, 2020
6,017
I'm sorry to hear its come to this. I hope you find relief. The bar in your bathroom sounds good for partial if you can't find a proper full spot.
 
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Michaelwaev

Michaelwaev

Student
Sep 1, 2020
115
And I wasn't always like it. A twiddled corpse, to watch, feel me, see me, just sorta flow-zoom down a sorta shitalk hole isn't fun, it ain't wanktastic, it ain't impressive by any stretch of means that are badly injust. It's fucked up to fuck life is what I'd say when I was in that position. I dunno, I think I may let go that aswell... Is that just because Iwas slushed like that some of the stretches when I ate peaches? Thing is, innocence isn't a play on the mind, if you use it correctly. There is a thing called being strong. There, is a thing of being of having too much exposure. Whatever my reasons are, I've kept them in a place unparralel to the real world. No other reason/deduction. I think there is an unfair surface to the real world, but the real motherfuckersuckers are going to realise what bullshit truly is. Lol.
There have been peaks of life and everything ngl. Some people have it better than some, true. The rank thing for motherfuckurs, is poo/nice words that I've said to friendly people/hells/love has enough to go around somewhere... And heaven truly has a fucking place for the derseved. I believe in myself. But fuck. Bostleshits. Dude. Fuck Screaming Children. Fuck My Mum and her eccentricness. And fuck Peaches.


I'd like to thank Thank my Waifus. Thank angels, Thank god. Thank, uh people for food, liquids, drugs, materials. Thank Good people,, thank people who have actually said some encouraging things.
But haa I need just to fuckin relax before tryin again...
Or watch death videos or whatever.
 
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VIBRITANNIA

VIBRITANNIA

lelouch. any pronouns. pfp is by pixiv id 3217872.
Aug 10, 2020
1,156
i'm sorry it's come to this. i hope you find the peace you're looking for.
 
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Lost in a Dream

Lost in a Dream

He/him - Metal head
Feb 22, 2020
1,744
I'm sorry you're having such a hard time getting this to work and finding the peace you are after. Hopefully relaxing for a bit will help you to figure things out. Good luck.
 
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Michaelwaev

Michaelwaev

Student
Sep 1, 2020
115
Yeah full suspension attempt #3 will be happening.
Just wondering mmm if I should take some pills whilst doing it and save it save it to another day. I feel like it would numb me out... also my rope is suspended above the field on a tree that is planted in the ground next to the field. I'm glad that the rope is above the field, it's just the process of climbing the tree. Rope is on the branch and I'm satisfied at that task. I've got to sit on another branch it's a proper height and thedistance away from the distance on the two in use branches is somewhat unforgiving as the rope with the knot had to go around a thick branch.
 
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Michaelwaev

Michaelwaev

Student
Sep 1, 2020
115
Actually glad I haven't done it yet, as I made a slipknot, not a hangmans noose. Will go and sort that out sometime, really glad the rope is where it is though.
 
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BPD Barbie

BPD Barbie

Visionary
Dec 1, 2019
2,361
Glad you're still with us lovely ❤️ have you made any more plans moving forward?
 
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mr.smileysad

mr.smileysad

Student
Aug 29, 2020
180
hope you find peace slip knot is best
 
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