Venting So, so sad

[StarryStarry]

I came here really just to ramble and put my feelings in writing. As each day goes by I wonder more and more why I'm here. My little girl died in 1989 - yes, I know that was a long time ago, but it feels like yesterday. I still grieve every day. Now, I have no family - no friends (no one likes to be around someone who is always depressed and thinking of killing themself). So, I'm alone in a world that has grown so ugly, so cold. People don't have compassion for anyone else anymore. Everyone is out for themself (there are exceptions of course). Every morning I wake up, I hate my life more and more. I have a shitty job (working for attorneys) where the people backstab each other at every step; the attorneys are emotionally and mentally abusive. I've been losing my hair in huge amounts from stress. I have no money to go see a doctor or psychiatrist for medication. I cry constantly. I was unemployed for two months and didn't speak to another living person. Even though I'll be taking my own life (by choice), I'm really dying of loneliness and a broken heart. I've decided to drive back to where my little girl is and die there so that I can be close to her.

Thank you for listening. Please, if you have anything negative to say - DON'T say it. I listen to enough shit on a daily basis from people around me. I come here for support. Thank you.

Starry Starry

 

[Shadowplay]

I came here really just to ramble and put my feelings in writing. As each day goes by I wonder more and more why I'm here. My little girl died in 1989 - yes, I know that was a long time ago, but it feels like yesterday. I still grieve every day. Now, I have no family - no friends (no one likes to be around someone who is always depressed and thinking of killing themself). So, I'm alone in a world that has grown so ugly, so cold. People don't have compassion for anyone else anymore. Everyone is out for themself (there are exceptions of course). Every morning I wake up, I hate my life more and more. I have a shitty job (working for attorneys) where the people backstab each other at every step; the attorneys are emotionally and mentally abusive. I've been losing my hair in huge amounts from stress. I have no money to go see a doctor or psychiatrist for medication. I cry constantly. I was unemployed for two months and didn't speak to another living person. Even though I'll be taking my own life (by choice), I'm really dying of loneliness and a broken heart. I've decided to drive back to where my little girl is and die there so that I can be close to her.

Thank you for listening. Please, if you have anything negative to say - DON'T say it. I listen to enough shit on a daily basis from people around me. I come here for support. Thank you.

Starry Starry

I'm so sorry you lost your daughter; I understand there are some wounds that do not heal.

 

[ClownMe]

Im sorry to hear about your daughter, this life is hard enough without having to deal with the death of someone you love.

 

[Shadowplay]

Im sorry to hear about your daughter, this life is hard enough without having to deal with the death of someone you love.

Amen to that.

 

[nerve]

I don't have kids so maybe I'm just talking out of my ass, but I doubt any parent worth their salt would ever really stop mourning a deceased child. Grief like that will take different forms and ebb or flow over time, but it also changes a person forever. The world must become a much different place after you lose someone that important to you.

I wish so, so much that we had some way to mend your broken heart, but maybe we can at least help with the loneliness (even just a little) as you navigate this part of your life. You have a space here to be heard and to talk about these things as much as you want to or need to.

 

[Deleted member 32964]

I came here really just to ramble and put my feelings in writing. As each day goes by I wonder more and more why I'm here. My little girl died in 1989 - yes, I know that was a long time ago, but it feels like yesterday. I still grieve every day. Now, I have no family - no friends (no one likes to be around someone who is always depressed and thinking of killing themself). So, I'm alone in a world that has grown so ugly, so cold. People don't have compassion for anyone else anymore. Everyone is out for themself (there are exceptions of course). Every morning I wake up, I hate my life more and more. I have a shitty job (working for attorneys) where the people backstab each other at every step; the attorneys are emotionally and mentally abusive. I've been losing my hair in huge amounts from stress. I have no money to go see a doctor or psychiatrist for medication. I cry constantly. I was unemployed for two months and didn't speak to another living person. Even though I'll be taking my own life (by choice), I'm really dying of loneliness and a broken heart. I've decided to drive back to where my little girl is and die there so that I can be close to her.

Thank you for listening. Please, if you have anything negative to say - DON'T say it. I listen to enough shit on a daily basis from people around me. I come here for support. Thank you.

Starry Starry

ouch. there is alwsys a good hike w/ a photo of yr little one, a view, tea, ashwaganda, maybe a religious environment, a craft, a drink, a lake, a helpless person to support with less. an adult like ypu doesn't deserve death. suicide is murder, whst did you fo wrong?

quit yr stressful job? take a job in security - stand there doing NOTHING for hours, watching cameras.

take a load off.

sorry yr hurting

ouch. there is alwsys a good hike w/ a photo of yr little one, a view, tea, ashwaganda, maybe a religious environment, a craft, a drink, a lake, a helpless person to support with less. an adult like ypu doesn't deserve death. suicide is murder, whst did you fo wrong?

quit yr stressful job? take a job in security - stand there doing NOTHING for hours, watching cameras.

take a load off.

sorry yr hurting

 

[StarryStarry]

I don't have kids so maybe I'm just talking out of my ass, but I doubt any parent worth their salt would ever really stop mourning a deceased child. Grief like that will take different forms and ebb or flow over time, but it also changes a person forever. The world must become a much different place after you lose someone that important to you.

I wish so, so much that we had some way to mend your broken heart, but maybe we can at least help with the loneliness (even just a little) as you navigate this part of your life. You have a space here to be heard and to talk about these things as much as you want to or need to.

You know it never ceases to amaze me. People who suffer with depression, or any other mental disease are the kindest, most sensitive people I've met. Nerve - you brought tears to my eyes. You don't even know me, but you hit the nail on the head. Thank you so much. Thank you for making my day a lot easier (I quit the job with the assholes - yeah me!)

 

[Deleted member 32964]

i hope you feel better.

 

[ghost_]

im so sorry for your loss <3 I wish you nothing but peace and content. I hope you find a way to feel better

 

[FuneralCry]

Even as time passes, the pain from losing someone can never fade. I understand it is hard to carry on when you are suffering so much. I hope you find peace.