i am so isolated i never talk to the opposite sex or anyone really. wasting my 20s i don't even know where to go or what to do.
I'm sorry man. I just glanced at your post history, it seems avoidant disposition really troubles you.
I was watching this lecture where this guy talks to someone with social anxiety. He asks the person what kinda things keep them from talking to other people. The person tells him that they hear an internal dialogue that tells him he will bother the other person or the other person won't be interested and things like this.
so the presenter stops the person and asks "have you ever told your internal dialog to shut up."
that sounds so simple and obvious that I almost dismissed it, but then I thought back and realized I do this when I want to talk to someone but I'm anxious about it. I tell my internal dialog log to shut up.
I was at a nightclub one night and this girl I was with was afraid to talk to some dude. I said I'll make you a deal, pick any guy in here, any one, pick a straight one and I'll just start talking to him. I was hoping he'd shot me down hard so I could show her it's ok, it happens and I'd be fine.
she picked a dude, I went up to random straight dude, I was anxious but I just told my internal dialog to shut up. Obviously I didn't pick up random straight dude but we actually had a pleasant exchange and the girl I was with ended up talking to some dude and they got along amazingly. Something about a pool at 3 am.
I was watching this lecture where this guy talks to someone with social anxiety. He asks the person what kinda things keep them from talking to other people. The person tells him that they hear an internal dialogue that tells him he will bother the other person or the other person won't be interested and things like this.
so the presenter stops the person and asks "have you ever told your internal dialog to shut up."
that sounds so simple and obvious that I almost dismissed it, but then I thought back and realized I do this when I want to talk to someone but I'm anxious about it. I tell my internal dialog log to shut up.
I was at a nightclub one night and this girl I was with was afraid to talk to some dude. I said I'll make you a deal, pick any guy in here, any one, pick a straight one and I'll just start talking to him. I was hoping he'd shot me down hard so I could show her it's ok, it happens and I'd be fine.
she picked a dude, I went up to random straight dude, I was anxious but I just told my internal dialog to shut up. Obviously I didn't pick up random straight dude but we actually had a pleasant exchange and the girl I was with ended up talking to some dude and they got along amazingly. Something about a pool at 3 am.
Bootleg Astolfo
Glorious Bean Plushie
- Oct 12, 2020
- 656
Hello my fellow lonely man, i'd recommend watching anime if you don't already. It won't do shit when it comes to finding a girlfriend, but at least you'll be mildly distracted from it for a little while.
Well you can be alone even when you're actually are with someone. That's the state I'm in now..
Mr blobby
Member
- Nov 29, 2020
- 55
I'm damn near 30. Been in this situation my entire life. What I've realised is that, no one cares enough to help you unless they are getting paid for it. Sounds brutal but the truth. Social anxiety still an unknown. Many people don't know anything about it.
1st step is to muster up enough motivation to want to improve the situation. Then to take practical steps.
1st step is to muster up enough motivation to want to improve the situation. Then to take practical steps.
