So much suffering

[Lonely Music]

Somebody please help me. I'm so lonely, the days are so long. I hate this life. I ordered sodium nitrite and am scared. My self-esteem is at an all time low. I've tried all meds and therapy all through my 20s and none of them help anymore. I run about 20 miles a week. I check off every day just trying to count to 90 days to see if i feel any better. I live in Milwaukee, WI. I'm looking for a connection or maybe a suicide partner. Some guidance. I've looked everywhere, read hundreds of books. I don't know what else to do in this world. I don't want to keep adding pointless years.

 

[Sweet emotion]

Hi. So I gather you're going through serious depression. Do you know where it stems from? Im sorry no therapy helps anymore because I would hate so see someone go without exhausting all means. I was just wonderful what has happened to you that has made you so depressed. I can't be your suicide partner because I have my own plan but if you need someone to talk to I'd like to spend my last couple of months on this Earth helping people. PM me if you want to chat.

 

[melancholy]

Hey there.
Sucks you have no hope left and suicide is the only answer.

You mention being lonely.
have you tried to find any local meet ups for socialising in your area online?

 

[GreyMonkey]

Peace X Peace | Women’s Rights Are Human Rights

www.riverwalkpsychotherapy.com

Most therapists suck. However NARM is a powerful modality for truly working with the deep stuff.

It takes time. Definitely not a short term fix. I've been seeing a practitioner for almost 3 months now. Recently I have started seeing her twice a week.
And while life still sucks, slowly there is an increase of the time I'm not suicidal.

If you want to live you will have to address the childhood wounds. And it is super fucking painful at first. Yet really the pain we feel that drives us to want to die is that pain of childhood leaking through into adult life.

However if you want to die, that's ok too. Its too scary for me even though I ache for it often and I go up and down like a fucking yoyo

Limbo is hell though. Not wanting to live but too afraid to die. That truly is a hell place to live.