So many different reasons for people being here.

[justanotherhuman237]

So obviously nobody has identical experiences when it comes to why they end up on this forum but I feel like a lot of the reasons why can be categorized.

the most common one that I see in people is hate for themselves due to the influence of other people. Usually these people are convinced into believing a negative thing about themselves from another Person and that person or group is the driving force to their suicidal thoughts. Some examples of this one are bullying, cyber bullying, assault, etc.

If I had to pick I'd say the second most common one is self hate simply due to your own mental state. When I think of this I imagine a persons exposure to something that has no negative intent but it triggers self doubt or hate nonethelless. I feel like this is present a lot of the time in people who have anxiety and will overthink something that is otherwise harmless. I think a good example of this is comparing yourself to a social media post and feeling bad afterwards.

The next one that comes to mind is simply abusive relationships. I chose to group this one away from simply the influence of other people because Self hatred isn't the main reason a lot of people in abusive relationships Ctb. I had a friend who killed herself after her abusive parents drove her too far and from what I learned, abusive relationships can cause a person to ctb to simply to make the abuser happy or because they think that being dead is better than living with abuse. I'm sure there's other reasons but I'm not an expert in this and dont want to stretch my little knowledge on this subject.

The last one I think of is my reason for being here so I know a decent amount about it. it is a different type of self hatred that you get from feeling like a bad person. it feels like it deserves its own grouping because I think hating yourself for being ugly and hating yourself for actively wanting to commit acts of violence are different levels. I don't see this group as commonly and I can think of a lot of reasons why. A lot of people who actively do bad things enjoy it and accept it but for this group, they end up having the same urges and/or feelings but hate themselves for it. From the people I've met like this, a lot of them are diagnosed as sociopaths, psychopaths , Pyromaniacs, etc. these people usually can't change who they are and how they feel but they hate themselves For it and think the world would be a better place without them.

Obviously there is more than these few groupings but these are the ones that come To my mind and are easy to generalize for me. So I'm curious which one has drove you here? If it's a different thing all together I would be interested to hear about it.

 

[Ε. Η. R.]

Of the points that you listed, I fall under the first three.
I also feel that I have done bad things in the past. So, maybe also point 4, partially.

 

[Division Day]

I think you're missing those of us who don't necessarily hate ourselves but have a lousy quality of life.

I'm not my biggest fan, but I want out because anxiety and eating disorders have made my life mostly very unpleasant to live and after trying for so long I no longer have any belief I can recover.

 

[fuyu]

I can't relate to any of the categories you created, but I agree that it probably fits for many users here.

Even if categorized, it's safe to assume everyone's situation is very complex. Maybe the things you said were the source of the complexity or maybe another source lead to your conclusions?

 

[sserafim]

I think you're missing those of us who don't necessarily hate ourselves but have a lousy quality of life.

I'm not my biggest fan, but I want out because anxiety and eating disorders have made my life mostly very unpleasant to live and after trying for so long I no longer have any belief I can recover.

I have a lousy quality of life due to neurodivergence and just not being fit or meant for this world. The world is just not a good fit for me.

 

[Division Day]

I have a lousy quality of life due to neurodivergence and just not being fit or meant for this world. The world is just not a good fit for me.

Yeah, I also got that fun experience. It's also the root of my mental health shit (imagine going 20 something years without any of the sensory issues from ASD really, and then it all hits you like a bomb and you spend a whole year trying to stay sane and figure out what the hell happened to you).

 

[skaro]

I have a lousy quality of life due to neurodivergence and just not being fit or meant for this world. The world is just not a good fit for me.

this fits me perfectly aswell, I'm sorry you feel that way too. I feel like a caveman who was teleported to the 21st century pretty much

 

[DEATH IS FREEDOM]

It seems that many people are here who have no intention of committing suicide.

 

[Kobusu]

A lot of people here are for reasons outside of any sense of self-hatred or disgust. Honestly, since I've joined most people I encounter who are here for reasons like that (including myself) tend to still be here, as many people feel they deserve to suffer by living. Most people I've seen who have gone on (though nowhere near all of them) tend to have medical issues or extenuating circumstances. A lot of them hated themselves, but a lot of them also just hated their conditions and lives or standard of living.

 

[FuneralCry]

I wouldn't really say I hate myself at all in my case rather I hate existence itself. Ceasing to exist is all that feels logical to me to escape from all future unnecessary suffering. Decaying from age in an existence that I never wished to endure in the first place just doesn't interest me and the thought of such a thing fills me with dread, I prefer the sound of permanently ceasing to exist, in my case I'd see it as always preferable to not exist. Death solves what I see as the true problem which is of course existence itself.

 

[Cress]

My reason is primarily medical issues but surprisingly that seems to be on the rarer end of things people complain about and if I ever make a post about it almost no one can actually relate to it. That's fine though I understand I'm not the primary demographic that people can relate to

 

[Forever Sleep]

I don't carry a massive amount of self hatred with me. There's some- certainly but it's not that that makes me suicidal. Initially I suppose I would have gone for the abusive/toxic relationship option. I'm pretty sure I grew up with a narcissist.

Now though- I'm suicidal because of my situation. I'm struggling to forge the life I want and I don't want to settle in to- well- basically slavery in this capitalist world. I think actually, a lot of people who are suicidal are that way because they see no meaningful way to change their life into something they want to live. That can be for all sorts of reasons- health issues, finances, competition in the job market, difficulties in forming relationships.

Although, I agree, there certainly are a lot of people here who struggle with self hatred. It makes me angry for them actually because I expect in many cases- it's because they haven't been shown enough love and respect by those around them. Asides from the previously mentioned (suspected) narcissist, I was lucky enough to have received a lot of love and respect in my life. I think it's that grounding that teaches you to value your own self.

 

[Kit1]

Childhood abuse, medical conditions, neurodivergence and frequent flashbacks, nightbacks, dissociations - had a chance of survival with support from what deemed like a good GP, but accessibility rules changed with GP's surgery (NHS surgery in London NW9 insisted that online form beeds to be completed to access Dr's support and despite flagging this as accessibility challenge, the surgery was unbending in decision) - I have stopped taking all my medication for more than a couple of months and health has been going down. This is probably what will eventually what will lead to.my death - which is cynical that it is the accessibility challenge posed by NHS that will lead to my death now.