so ladies and gents, its finally happening (SN)

[head full of static]

About half an hour from now, im gonna take the drink. Its a very surreal experience knowing that its all within my grasp. for the first time in my life, I am in full control of what comes next. im oddly happy right now.

Ill try to keep posted, but after I drink it ill slow down posting, i know the best way for me personally not to vomit is to keep my head still, eyes shut, and music on, so thats where ill be

If i dont update like 40 hours from now please do terminate my account. I live with family so if I somehow fuck this one up its gonna be a complicated day

 

[Wakawaka]

not really sure what to say, sorry your life has come to this, i hope your exit is peaceful, we'll be here to keep you company until then

 

[SuicidallyCurious]

what music will you use to go out?

I hope you have a successful attempt if that is your true choice and will get you out of pain.

 

[head full of static]

not really sure what to say, sorry your life has come to this, i hope your exit is peaceful, we'll be here to keep you company until then

thanks, it means a lot. I feel very free right now, a lot less nervous than I thought I would be, though im still pretty shaky. I haven't measured out the SN yet because I dont wanna leave it exposed to the air just incase it spoils it or something, but aside from that im all set

 

[Green Destiny]

If this is what you want then I hope you get some much needed rest my friend. And we'll still be here if you need us.

 

[head full of static]

what music will you use to go out?

I hope you have a successful attempt if that is your true choice and will get you out of pain.

just a mix of old tracks that give me nostalgia from my childhood mostly. some linkin park, blink 182, and whatever random new songs spotify decides to spit out next.

and thanks you for the good wishes!

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

I wish you peace. Rest well.

 

[head full of static]

I wish you peace. Rest well.

thank you!

 

[Nodscene]

From what I've read you don't have to worry about SN spoiling, especially if you will be taking it in the next hour or so.

Either way I hope things workout the way you want and your suffering ends.

I remember having that exact same feeling when I made my attempts. It makes it a lot easier to go through with.

I wish you a safe and painless trip.

 

[BehindTheWall]

Take care of you @head full of static.
I hope you'Il find peace! We're with you, no matter what.

 

[head full of static]

aaand down the hatch

 

[SuicidallyCurious]

aaand down the hatch

Hope you will be ok op :(

 

[NodusTollens]

I hope your journey is a peaceful one, safe travels. —hugs—

 

[lostmyhope]

I'm sorry your life circumstances have brought you to this decision. Please know that you have people who care, and I hope you find the peace you are seeking

 

[head full of static]

i threw up. a lot. i have a second glass, do i take it

 

[SuicidallyCurious]

i threw up. a lot. i have a second glass, do i take it

If you want the attempt to be a success then yes. If you do not then no. Only you can decide

 

[head full of static]

ok. im taking it. can i drink some plain water. my throat hurts so so bad

 

[SuicidallyCurious]

ok. im taking it. can i drink some plain water. my throat hurts so so bad

minimal amounts as not to dilute the mix. Too many would compromise the attempt I would think. :(

 

[Meditation guide]

ok. im taking it. can i drink some plain water. my throat hurts so so bad

I don't know. How are you now?

 

[Spitfire]

ok. im taking it. can i drink some plain water. my throat hurts so so bad

Are you still here with us? I hope you are resting and finding your peace now though.

 

[Ragtime piano]

sorry for your pain ... I know these feelings as I've made 5 attempts over the past 10 years or so. it's some sort of miracle that I'm here now. I've known joy in between attempts but also severe anxiety and pain. on balance more good than bad.
just want you add .. please leave a note for your family/friends. When we ctb it transfers the pain to others ..I speak from experience having known two friends who ended their lives. one in particular still fills me with guilt 20 years later and this guilt is a major factor in my own depression . Hope you find peace

 

[Meditation guide]

just want you add .. please leave a note for your family/friends.

It's too late for that now. He might not be conscious. It's been about 16 minutes since his second glass.

 

[SuicidallyCurious]

Yes I think op has CTB or is well on his way...

 

[Weary Soul]

 

[stygal]

Hopefully everything worked out the way it should and hopefully OP had a painfree transition and made their peace with everything before leaving (if they are gone) <3

 

[Meditation guide]

It was about one week from the time he was asking about getting SN to the time he got it, and he took it the next day.
I have to admire someone who is that sure of what he wants. He mentioned he wanted to do this for most of his life. And there is no hesitation about drinking a second glass. May he rest in peace.

 

[WornOutLife]

Oh, another member has left us. This is the sad part of SS, most of us will leave sooner or later, even me.
Hope he's finally at peace.

 

[aminend]

Rest in peace.

 

[Wrennie]

So sorry I missed you.

 

[Sherri]

Hope you found your peace hun.