So I tried to hang myself today

[BridgeJumper]

I made a noose out of a laptop cable cause my parents confiscated my ropes and Im short of money. The noose itself didnt untangle but I couldnt tie the cable anywhere cause it would slip when I applied pressure. So I remembered that some desperate folks do it with scarves and whipped a long one out of our drawer, tied it to the lamp cause it would untangle on the doorknob, needed to try a few times to get the noose just right for my height and head size. I read about the siphon effect so I knelt down with the noose on my neck (idk if it was of any use with a chair under but then again when doorknob suicides die they have their feet reaching the floor too) and pushed. Soon I started getting the hot tingly feeling. I got up and swayed to the side making a weird sound as my body convulsed a little but I didnt black out enough. My legs were really weak afterwards. Am I doing something wrong? Should I be, I dont know, more willing to die? Should I take an OD from some of my suicide stash to ease myself into it?
And the question that bugs me, if you give a rope or a scarf a really hard pull, and it doesnt budge would I not fall to the floor unless the fixing point gives in? So many questions. Help

 

[Superfluous]

I made a noose out of a laptop cable cause my parents confiscated my ropes and Im short of money. The noose itself didnt untangle but I couldnt tie the cable anywhere cause it would slip when I applied pressure.

This sounds like you weren't using the right knot to secure the cable. One of the best knots for securing a rope(cable) to a pole/bar is a Round Turn and Two Half Hitches.

So I remembered that some desperate folks do it with scarves and whipped a long one out of our drawer, tied it to the lamp cause it would untangle on the doorknob, needed to try a few times to get the noose just right for my height and head size. I read about the siphon effect so I knelt down with the noose on my neck (idk if it was of any use with a chair under but then again when doorknob suicides die they have their feet reaching the floor too) and pushed. Soon I started getting the hot tingly feeling. I got up and swayed to the side making a weird sound as my body convulsed a little but I didnt black out enough. My legs were really weak afterwards. Am I doing something wrong?

Did the noose around you neck tighten when you put your weight into it? Are you using a Slip Knot (also known as a noose knot) or similar? I think the one I linked to is the basic version and there may be another version with an extra loop. Note that you should leave a bit more of the rope (scarf) free at the end to ensure it doesn't become loose.

You can also apply some lubricant to the ligature to facilitate the tightening. The type of lubricant depends on the ligature.

Should I take an OD from some of my suicide stash to ease myself into it?

Most people need some dutch courage to go through with it, so taking something to reduce the anxiety is considered acceptable as long as it doesn't impair your judgement. I wouldn't advise a lot though.

And the question that bugs me, if you give a rope or a scarf a really hard pull, and it doesnt budge would I not fall to the floor unless the fixing point gives in?

Pretty much. If you're going for full suspension, it's generally recommended that it should take twice your weight. For partial, somewhat less than that.

 

[BridgeJumper]

Okay so I tried to tie that two hitches knot but Im kinda dumb and somehow when its finished the two big cricles dont touch together?
For noose I use a hangmans noose knot with about 6 loops but only with the cable cause with a scarf I couldnt incorporate a way of making loops that made sense, weaving it together just took too much space. So I tied it off on the top of my lamp and the bit under the knot made a simple loop but I tugged a lot at it and it wouldnt budge.
Still conflicted whether I wanna go with this scarf or go to a hardware store, buy a proper rope and practice those knots. What would you reccomend to lube the rope if its made of woven synthethic (the kind you use for mountain climbing)?
I dont really worry about rope breaking cause it should take 150 - 300 kg of weight and Im a thin girl, but I want to make sure the lamp doesnt break off and leave a hole in my ceiling that Id need to repair. I thought about drop hanging off a bridge because regular hanging would attract people who would save me, I cant secure anything to my door knob and Im out of resources in my apartment generally
Thanks for the help mate
EDIT: Im getting better at this knot thanks

 

[Superfluous]

Electrical cables aren't great when it comes to tying knots as they are not very flexible.

The hangman's noose should only be used for drop hanging as there's more friction. The drop can overcome that friction and allow the knot to tighten, but not partial or full w/o drop. That's why a slip knot is advised for the noose if not drop hanging (less friction).

If you're able to purchase some climbing rope, then that would be ideal. Here's a link to a great post regarding ropes:

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/about-the-right-size-of-rope-for-hanging.15701/post-300973

Climbing ropes shouldn't need lubrication, but there's no harm in using some. Anything from grease to butter or oil should work if needed.

I'm a bit concerned about you using a light fitting. Are you sure it's strong enough?

I had a new idea about how to use a door for partial which I posted in the hanging mega thread (link is to my post):

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/how-to-hang-yourself.1183/post-297667

I don't think anyone's tried it, but I think it should work and doesn't require the rope to be attached to the door knob or any other heavy object. I would say the door needs to be closed (or as much as possible) and ensure the rope is taut beforehand.

 

[BridgeJumper]

Damn, thank you mate
I looked up instructions for a slipknot but tbh its no different than the standard noose knot for me, just with less coils. Should be easy to tie it.
Yes Im going to buy actual climbing rope, thats where I always buy my ropes. Just rotate the stores so owners dont get suspicions for me buying so much rope as parents go through all my belongings and keep taking them away lol
Maybe I should travel to my house in the countryside and do it off a staircase, seen a case like this on bestgore and the fixture seems quite strong. I dont want a huge gaping hole over my head but there was a girl in psych ward Ive been to who managed to hang herself on a lamp and almost died so that seemed like a good idea.
Ill try out the door thing once Im home alone again too
Cheers

 

[Ruffian]

Thanks for posting this. I wanted to know more about this method, so thanks for the info.

 

[BridgeJumper]

My neck is slightly off now, it feels like, extended? Doesnt make sense. And hurts when I tilt my head to look up.
Is this concerning? It hurts on the side my body fell to when it swayed. Feels kinda like that time where I stretched a tendon except in my neck
Well if it was bad Id be paralyzed by know but who knows
Thanks for resources!
EDIT: I looked up the door method but my door has no gap underneath it. Should I tie the rope to the doorknob on one side and sling it back to the other?

 

[limone]

possible you can make a knot on the rope and block it on upper door frame

 

[Superfluous]

My neck is slightly off now, it feels like, extended? Doesnt make sense. And hurts when I tilt my head to look up.
Is this concerning? It hurts on the side my body fell to when it swayed. Feels kinda like that time where I stretched a tendon except in my neck
Well if it was bad Id be paralyzed by know but who knows

It's quite normal to experience neck pain after failed attempts or practise runs. From your description, it doesn't sound like any permanent damage has been done, and given time it should feel better.

EDIT: I looked up the door method but my door has no gap underneath it. Should I tie the rope to the doorknob on one side and sling it back to the other?

I posted this in the mega thread:

Yes it should provided the doorknob is secured well to the door. The reason I proposed an alternative to using a door handle/knob is that those in my condo are pretty flimsy (and the doors are poorly fitted with big gaps underneath). Test beforehand by putting your full weight on the rope.

If you're able to wedge the door shut after tightening the rope so that the top of the door frame catches the rope, then that will also take some of the force off the handle/knob.

 

[limone]

I experimented just as you said: "to wedge the door shut after tightening the rope so that the top of the door frame catches the rope, then that will also take some of the force off the handle/knob"

 

[Superfluous]

@limone Sorry, I had my last post sat there for a couple of hours whilst I went to eat (and fell asleep).

 

[limone]

@limone Sorry, I had my last post sat there for a couple of hours whilst I went to eat (and fell asleep).

oh..thank you so much...just I'm determined to prepare everything not to fail again

 

[BridgeJumper]

Thanks again. Will try this later when Im home alone.
Right now my neck and legs are really painful so I kinda want to recover from it.
I learned that fast breathing and then holding breath and diving in water often causes quick uncosnciousness and drowning. I had the perverted idea of securing rope to the radiator in my bathroom and doing this in a tub full to the brim with water since the radiator bar is directly above the bathtub

 

[BridgeJumper]

Update:
Ive seen a video on bestgore of a guy finishing himself off hanging off a bridge, normal hanging not long drop, people were there, a crowd of them but unable to hoist his heavy body back up. I might go with the bridge plan I had in place first afterall, use a railway bridge to be sure. The bridge is designed to hold up under tonnes of weight, unlike the shitty ass radiator in my house that can just fall off the wall. Shouldnt buckle the slightest under my pathethic loser body