Venting So I think I could have cancer.

[BrokenLine]

So for the past couple of weeks I've being seeing blood when i go to the bathroom, I have some lower spine, abdomen/stomach pain. Some history my moms side of the family has a history of various types of cancer throat, stomach and lung their diagnoses are usually in mid 30th to early 40s my age group. A part of me wants it to be and to find out, but I'm scared if i have it what that means. I cant fight it, I have no reason too.

 

[Al_stargate]

Perhaps just digestive issues with aching back. But would be worth checking it out. I'd rather die of natural causes than suicide because if there is afterlife. But cancer is a tough way to go.

 

[Hollowman]

I can relate I wouldn't try to fight it either.

 

[dredd1981]

I can relate I wouldn't try to fight it either.

I hear ya, I wish I could get cancer and ctb, if I were diagnosed with it I'd be over the frickin moon because it would save me the trouble of doing it myself

 

[Sakura94]

I think you should get it checked it'll help with your nerves. The unknown is more scary.
Dying of cancer is awful even though I'd love to have any excuse to die.

 

[BrokenLine]

Perhaps just digestive issues with aching back. But would be worth checking it out. I'd rather die of natural causes than suicide because if there is afterlife. But cancer is a tough way to go.

It could be and maybe is digestive issues. But my diet hasn't changed truthfully in years. so I'm kind of discounting it.
Ignorance is bliss. If i have cancer i wouldn't fight it or tell anyone, no one to tell really but CTB would be a lot easier.

I can relate I wouldn't try to fight it either.

yeah, i just couldn't spend the rest of my life in hospital.

I think you should get it checked it'll help with your nerves. The unknown is more scary.
Dying of cancer is awful even though I'd love to have any excuse to die.

I know its scary but I think me knowing makes it worse either way. If I do then i have to hope i overcome my SI to CTB before it gets to bad, problem with that hope is a bitch. And if I don't I just have to fight me SI to CTB before my life gets worse and it always does, problem hope is a bitch.

 

[onlyanimalsaregood]

I'm so sorry to hear that. I understand that you're afraid to know and I really agree with you, ignorance is a gift sometimes. But I also agree with the other members, I think you should confirm it. Take care. Regardless of what happened I hope you find peace. I wish you the best.

 

[SuicidallyCurious]

My mom was told she would live less than a year with her cancer

She lived very long compared to what she was diagnosed with and many of that was high quality of life years although there were times where it was really bad

 

[FuneralCry]

Cancer does sound really horrible, I think I would personally rather ctb than die from an illness. I'm sorry that you are in this situation and I wish you the best in whatever happens.

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

If it's bright red blood it's usually nothing to worry about as that often indicates hemorrhoids. If you have bleeding further up your GI tract it will turn the stools themselves maroon or black. That's definitely cause to get checked out. I wouldn't assume you have cancer at this point but of course it's best to get checked out if you're worried.

 

[BrokenLine]

I'm so sorry to hear that. I understand that you're afraid to know and I really agree with you, ignorance is a gift sometimes. But I also agree with the other members, I think you should confirm it. Take care. Regardless of what happened I hope you find peace. I wish you the best.

Thanks, i just think it its the feeling I'm dammed if i do and dammed if i don't and one comes with an actual clock.

Cancer does sound really horrible, I think I would personally rather ctb than die from an illness. I'm sorry that you are in this situation and I wish you the best in whatever happens.

Honestly i wouldn't let it kill me, i just don't want the pressure that i have to do it with in a certain time.

If it's bright red blood it's usually nothing to worry about as that often indicates hemorrhoids. If you have bleeding further up your GI tract it will turn the stools themselves maroon or black. That's definitely cause to get checked out. I wouldn't assume you have cancer at this point but of course it's best to get checked out if you're worried.

Yeah kind of really dark brown to black.

My mom was told she would live less than a year with her cancer

She lived very long compared to what she was diagnosed with and many of that was high quality of life years although there were times where it was really bad

Sorry to hear that but its good to hear your mum fought and had more time with you.

I would see it more as a relief, I'm dying but pressure to CTB before it got bad or worse someone noticed and got pressured to fight it because people around me think I should to keep this life. And all it could be is just prolonged pointless pain. I lost the things i would have thought for, things to stay part of.