Venting So i tested out the gun

[Trashcan]

I don't know if I'll be able to do it... it scared the shit out of me and it took several times of putting primer in just to get it going. I don't think I'm brave enough to do it. But I'll keep the gun just in case. Also some SN is arriving on Thursday. I'm basically out of money now... I should've just saved some more and gotten N instead. Several hundred dollars down the drain.

 

[Limbo]

You know what bothers me about death by gun? Its not a gradual process. Im choosing death by nitrogen and just like falling asleep ill feel myself slowly drift away, whereas with a gun, its instant lights out, I find that scary.

Is there a reason for not using nitrogen? Even america is starting to use it as an execution method.

 

[TheGoodGuy]

What gun and caliber? I have held my 9mm Glock 17 to my head many times especially when drunk but yes it is so scary.

 

[Morning Angel]

People really underestimate how difficult shooting yourself is. I don't know one person from this site who completed using a gun. I always tell people to skip the trouble of gun, rope, jumping unless you psychotic or drunk/high. Peaceful methods always.

 

[Trashcan]

You know what bothers me about death by gun? Its not a gradual process. Im choosing death by nitrogen and just like falling asleep ill feel myself slowly drift away, whereas with a gun, its instant lights out, I find that scary.

Is there a reason for not using nitrogen? Even america is starting to use it as an execution method.

I like the idea of an instant method, but something about the gun scares the daylights out of me.

I can't afford nitrogen... should've gotten that instead. I'll have to save up for it. But good luck with your method and hopefully it's peacrful.

 

[Trashcan]

What gun and caliber? I have held my 9mm Glock 17 to my head many times especially when drunk but yes it is so scary.

.50 caliber muzzleloader. I had no trouble pointing it in my mouth unloaded, but now... even with it unloaded... I don't know if I'll be able to. But after seeing what it did to the ground, I know it wouldn't be survivable.

And yes it's scary.

 

[Trashcan]

People really underestimate how difficult shooting yourself is. I don't know one person from this site who completed using a gun. I always tell people to skip the trouble of gun, rope, jumping unless you psychotic or drunk/high. Peaceful methods always.

It is. Violent methods are so hard to carry out. People who manage to shoot themshelves are seriously brave and must have also been very desperate, more than I can even comprehend.

 

[GeorgeEastman]

I fantasize about popping my head like it's a giant pimple. Imagine the release of all that blood and brain tissue. All that worthless garbage being ejected onto the ground to be swarmed by the flies. I just can't get enough of thinking about it really.

 

[bigj75]

I don't blame you. I fired off a few rounds before and I was like fuck. So scary.

 

[Aesthler]

People really underestimate how difficult shooting yourself is. I don't know one person from this site who completed using a gun. I always tell people to skip the trouble of gun, rope, jumping unless you psychotic or drunk/high. Peaceful methods always.

My step mother killed herself with a gun almost 4 years ago. She did it on the side of the road that had plenty of traffic. I've held a loaded pistol to my head with my finger on the trigger (sometimes my dad leaves it on his desk in his room) and maybe if I felt like I had my back absolutely to the wall and there was no other way out I'd pull the trigger

 

[Limbo]

I fantasize about popping my head like it's a giant pimple. Imagine the release of all that blood and brain tissue. All that worthless garbage being ejected onto the ground to be swarmed by the flies. I just can't get enough of thinking about it really.

jesus thats fucked up

 

[Schopenhauer]

It is. Violent methods are so hard to carry out. People who manage to shoot themshelves are seriously brave and must have also been very desperate, more than I can even comprehend.

Cops and military men/women are the ones most likely to do it this way.
No need to feel bad about yourself.

 

[Lra888]

Over 50% of completed suicides in America are by gun, 25% by suffocation (incl. hanging), 15% poisoning.

 

[bigj75]

I fantasize about popping my head like it's a giant pimple. Imagine the release of all that blood and brain tissue. All that worthless garbage being ejected onto the ground to be swarmed by the flies. I just can't get enough of thinking about it really.

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

I don't know if I'll be able to do it... it scared the shit out of me and it took several times of putting primer in just to get it going. I don't think I'm brave enough to do it. But I'll keep the gun just in case. Also some SN is arriving on Thursday. I'm basically out of money now... I should've just saved some more and gotten N instead. Several hundred dollars down the drain.

I looked at some handguns last year … some are as expensive as N or more. Like you I don't know if I could have pulled the trigger or not. I also would have needed to find somewhere to do it without being found until I was gone.
I've heard of gun silencers but I'm not sure how much they silence the sound. Also I wasn't sure how to get one for a gun … if there are different ones for each gun. I guess I could have googled it.
I don't know how going into a gun store and purchasing a gun with a silencer would work. Seems like that would set off a huge red flag.
I guess they are available on Amazon … I can't remember if I looked that up when I was looking up guns. I may have been too afraid to check. ;)

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

You know what bothers me about death by gun? Its not a gradual process. Im choosing death by nitrogen and just like falling asleep ill feel myself slowly drift away, whereas with a gun, its instant lights out, I find that scary.

Is there a reason for not using nitrogen? Even america is starting to use it as an execution method.

I like the falling asleep and drift away much better as well. ;) Who doesn't ? I guess, unless some people just want it to end so fast that it's their best option.

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

People really underestimate how difficult shooting yourself is. I don't know one person from this site who completed using a gun. I always tell people to skip the trouble of gun, rope, jumping unless you psychotic or drunk/high. Peaceful methods always.

I agree but sometimes not everyone has that option.

 

[Trashcan]

I'm somewhat tempted to get rid of the gun, but I don't know what I'd do with it and am worried I may end up regretting it. Sometimes I can an anxious person, and that's what mood I was in with the gun... I tested it then because I was able to sneak it out of the house without anyone seeing. But later one when I'm down I'll be glad I have a gun I'm sure. I kind also like the idea of just taking the SN before bed and not waking up (have some sleeping medications that are effective) but also am worried about getting found in time. Maybe when it comes to that point I'll do it in a hotel... some SN should arrive on Thursday. N seems nice as well, but as silly as this sounds, I get really wimpy about doing anything illegal, even if I won't get caught. So SN might be a good method. Idk man, the gun might be good just in case I change my mind and want to use it.

Also beforehand I really liked to point the gun in my mouth and pull the trigger. I knew it was unloaded and there was the safety handle on. Now I know it's unloaded (it took a few shots with primer to unload it) but man I would be too scared to do it again as silly as it is.

And thank you everyone for your support. I know I ramble and obsess over my method.

 

[Limbo]

I like the idea of an instant method, but something about the gun scares the daylights out of me.

I can't afford nitrogen... should've gotten that instead. I'll have to save up for it. But good luck with your method and hopefully it's peacrful.

hold on a second where do you live that you cant afford nitrogen?

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

I'm somewhat tempted to get rid of the gun, but I don't know what I'd do with it and am worried I may end up regretting it. Sometimes I can an anxious person, and that's what mood I was in with the gun... I tested it then because I was able to sneak it out of the house without anyone seeing. But later one when I'm down I'll be glad I have a gun I'm sure. I kind also like the idea of just taking the SN before bed and not waking up (have some sleeping medications that are effective) but also am worried about getting found in time. Maybe when it comes to that point I'll do it in a hotel... some SN should arrive on Thursday. N seems nice as well, but as silly as this sounds, I get really wimpy about doing anything illegal, even if I won't get caught. So SN might be a good method. Idk man, the gun might be good just in case I change my mind and want to use it.

Also beforehand I really liked to point the gun in my mouth and pull the trigger. I knew it was unloaded and there was the safety handle on. Now I know it's unloaded (it took a few shots with primer to unload it) but man I would be too scared to do it again as silly as it is.

And thank you everyone for your support. I know I ramble and obsess over my method.

I think it's wise not to get rid of the gun. That way you will still have it just in case you need it. Hopefully you won't but it's still good to have it.
I will have to look into SN more. I just want a peaceful death. I want to do it in a hotel as well but am afraid of being found too soon.

 

[BlackDragonof1989]

I don't blame you either, it would be on the same level for me as wondering what it's like to get beheaded, just watching those videos have messed with me. I wish you peace, and hope you would choose a more peaceful method but I'm not you, and I'm sorry if I impose in any way.

 

[Morning Angel]

I agree but sometimes not everyone has that option.

You're right. I think even CO may cost around $100 to put together.

 

[Trashcan]

hold on a second where do you live that you cant afford nitrogen?

Don't have enough money to get both nitrogen and stay in a hotel. Will just use the gun when it's time... wish I didn't test it out but I don't think it will be a problem if I'm desperate enough.

 

[Trashcan]

I think it's wise not to get rid of the gun. That way you will still have it just in case you need it. Hopefully you won't but it's still good to have it.
I will have to look into SN more. I just want a peaceful death. I want to do it in a hotel as well but am afraid of being found too soon.

I'm glad I did not.

 

[Duqu]

If they did any sort of background check I wouldn't be able to get a gun (I am in the US though and there is such a thing as gun shows for the time being so it's potentially doable); too many psych stays. But I really, really don't like guns. I also don't want to leave a huge mess behind for someone to be traumatized to walk into/have to clean up...