So close to hanging myself rn

[Gingerr]

Been fighting with my sister all day via text. Honestly, it's just the reminder I needed of how my life will always be, and how worthless of a person I am. Sometimes I forget that.

Anyway, after having just moved, I didn't have anything set up like I used to, but the day motivated me to not only dig out my blades and make few a cuts, but to figure out my new hanging setup. Idk if it'll work, the doors are weird here, but I'm going to try it inside a closet hahaha so maybe that'll work.

Was gonna wait a week because I actually have a houseguest rn. She's one room over. But I've moved some furniture in front of the door, so even if she does hear me (headphones are in), hopefully she can't get to me in time. Now I'm thinking I might drink a little (I have some alcohol on my room) and try and actually do it tonight even.

 

[wanttodie.nz]

Hope you find peace.

 

[All an illusion]

I'm sorry that you feel this way and i hope that you find the peace that you're looking for....be well Gingerr.

 

[Rukia]

Hi there ! You sound young am I mistaken? Maybe there are other options for you?

 

[Kjo]

Sounds like your sister is a toxic family member. I'm sorry that you're dealing with such terrible feelings. We're all here for you, in spirit and screen lol. Best wishes for peace and less suffering, whichever way that may be.

 

[Rukia]

@Gingerr how are you doing? Did you dress the wounds from cutting?

 

[Bulletwbttrflywings]

Been fighting with my sister all day via text. Honestly, it's just the reminder I needed of how my life will always be, and how worthless of a person I am. Sometimes I forget that.

Anyway, after having just moved, I didn't have anything set up like I used to, but the day motivated me to not only dig out my blades and make few a cuts, but to figure out my new hanging setup. Idk if it'll work, the doors are weird here, but I'm going to try it inside a closet hahaha so maybe that'll work.

Was gonna wait a week because I actually have a houseguest rn. She's one room over. But I've moved some furniture in front of the door, so even if she does hear me (headphones are in), hopefully she can't get to me in time. Now I'm thinking I might drink a little (I have some alcohol on my room) and try and actually do it tonight even.

Hugs....

Don't make a rash decision because of one bad day... this is permanent.

 

[Gingerr]

@Gingerr how are you doing? Did you dress the wounds from cutting?

Doing a bit better now. I tried a couple times, bit not surprisingly, I didn't get far enough. I think I'll have to keep experimenting and building up a tolerance to my SI tbh. Would love to ctb by Friday but we'll see.

And yes, I don't cut very deep usually and they're well taken care of RN, thanks for the concern

 

[Rukia]

Hope you dont cut in visible places...as I have scars in visible places...sometimes I fear ppl stare...What do they think? I will never know...

Would you mind sharing your reasons to CTB? Maybe there are other options?