Venting So as much as I want it be completely planned

[kittycat23]

I'm currently sitting crying my eyes because I want help. I want to get help but I can't move past this guilt, and feeling like a burden. I don't think I can wait 62 days. I think I'm gonna do it before. At this point, I don't care what method I use. I may OD, I may partial hang, I may jump in front of a train. I don't know yet but I'm just done. I'm too tired to plan, I'm too tired to arrange funeral plans for myself to make it easier on my family when my family hasn't given f*** about me for a long time. I genuinely am only living for my dog, and even that's hard. I love my dog but I'm tired. I just want to go to sleep and never wake up. Genuinely. 62 days is too long. I may go before then.