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rodie9k

rodie9k

Member
Jan 5, 2022
26
Hi, I'm planning to die using SN around 23 Sep. I have some questions based on what I've read in PPH 2022-04.
  1. how long would 50gm of SN + 150ml water last? the journey from my house to where I want to die is 1 hour, and I would like to avoid carrying the kitchen scale etc. with me. will the SN solution last 1 hour?
  2. is 400 mg propranolol essential? I have 80 mg omeprazole and 20 mg domperidone. couldn't find propranolol at nearby pharmacies. should I search further or try another method if I can't find it?
 
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Someone123

Illuminated
Oct 19, 2021
3,876
Once you measure the sn you could keep it in a plastic bag and mix it just before- why take the chance? If you are ovefr on the sn quantity some it probably will be ok, based on recwent posts of people having much more sn in their system than recommended. Propranolol isn't essential according to Stan's guide, but without some beta blocker there is more risk that a rapid heart rate could lead to calling for help- the mian benefit of a beta blocker is to avoid this. Someone recently seemeed to have success with 60mg of propraolol, so it's unlikely so much is necessary. Propranolo is prescription bvut it si pretty easy to get through online medical sites, where you consult with a physician online- usually just one message can lead to a prescription- ewe can't post sources here though. You do need to give them a reasonable explanation for wanting the medication though.
 
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Hollowillow

Hollowillow

I want throat hugs & anime! Can't use chat pm me
Aug 7, 2022
1,499
Why is it so complicated, I'm impressed you know so much...

Where am I supposed to find the links to all those guides?
 
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TiredLostHope20

TiredLostHope20

SN Arrived!
Aug 24, 2022
135
If you are to die, why care for a kitchen scale
Why is it so complicated, I'm impressed you know so much...

Where am I supposed to find the links to all those guides?
I know right? I was only able to find a SN source because somebody posted a pic with the brand in the photo. So difficult in wanting to die.
 
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rodie9k

rodie9k

Member
Jan 5, 2022
26
@Someone123 pharmacies where I live are badly regulated, they would've given the propranolol without prescription if they had it. guess I'll visit one in the city to get it

and yeah, I'll carry the SN and water separately and mix before drinking

but god-damn this is depressing. I've been trying to find pharmacies. and I've half a mind to skip the propranolol. and it's almost because I wanna fuck up. full disclosure, I don't wanna die. I only want to the misery to end. and dying is one way to do that, but I'd rather live and be happy

problem is, I have no idea what would make me happy. if a genie granted me 3 wishes, I'd have nothing to wish for. I've no understanding of what might make me happy. that's what makes this misery inescapable. if I knew what would make me happy, I could actually pursue. and maybe I'd fail to achieve it, but that's another matter.

but having nothing I want makes escaping misery fundamentally impossible. I just wish I knew what would make me happy. that's all I wanna know. maybe that's what I'd ask the genie
 
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Someone123

Illuminated
Oct 19, 2021
3,876
but having nothing I want makes escaping misery fundamentally impossible. I just wish I knew what would make me happy. that's all I wanna know. maybe that's what I'd ask the genie
It would be helpful to know your age- if you are under thirty especially and even under forty you most likely have enough time to solve financial problems. WHat works best to make most people happy is daily interactions with people who treat them in a caring way, family members and frineds and, once stable, a relationship- being cared about daily is they key. Pets can also help with this some, but they can''t be the only solution. DO you have friends and family members who you caqn count on to care about you? If not then people here may be able to suggest ideas to help. I do support choice for whether to ctb or not , though- people should be able to choose to end their pain somehow.
 
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rodie9k

rodie9k

Member
Jan 5, 2022
26
I'm early twenties. I don't have any financial problems, in that I've enough money for everything I want (which isn't much, mindless consumerism won't bring me happiness)

DO you have friends and family members who you caqn count on to care about you? If not then people here may be able to suggest ideas to help
I don't. my parents see me as a trophy. I told them I'm unhappy with life, and their response was "you're doing well at university, just ignore the sadness and keep living." they also constantly pressure me to marry at some point, even though they know I'm not interested. they want me to fulfill their expectations, with no regard for my misery

they "care" about me when their expectations are at risk. for example, I dropped out of Oxford because my mental health went to shit, so they showed concern (i.e., they put me in a psychiatric hospital). but if I'm doing well, they just tell me to ignore the sadness

my wider family calls me occasionally for small talk. I don't know what to talk about with them. can't discuss thoughts of suicide as they'll report me. they aren't concerned with my misery if I'm doing well. they never ask. they ask "how are academics going?" and I reply they're fine, so they assume I'm fine

regarding friends. I have colleagues. and they don't hate me, but they don't care either. they talk about academic work. I've tried discussing my sadness. they either change the topic or threaten to report me

but there's the thing. I don't deserve to be cared about. that's the only explanation for why nobody cares about me. nobody has cared about me for the last 13 years. that's when my parents began focusing on their expectations instead of my feelings. and I haven't had any friends since either

I mean, I've a CGPA of 3.91/4.00 and have some money. that's it. that's all I have. that's not enough for a person to deserve care. even extremely wealthy or intelligent people can be shitty, boring humans who don't deserve care. and I'm neither extremely wealthy nor intelligent. and yet, I'm a shitty, boring person

anyway, sorry for the rant. um people where may be able to suggest ideas to help?
 
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