SN protocol for tonight

[easypeasy]

Any suggestions are welcome:

1. Fast for 8 hours (during which I took 10mg Meto and 1 x 4mg Ondansatron wafer)
2. 10pm: Begin water fast
3. 11pm: 2x500mg Paracetamol
4. 11:20pm: take 3 x 10mg Meto and 1 x 4mg Ondansatron wafer
5: Prepare 25mg of SN in 50-100ml of water (have a spare cup prepared in case of vomiting)
6: Crush 170mg of Diazepam + 70mg Oxycodone in Mortar and Pestle and mix with minimal amount of water. (Sedative solution)
7. Drink Sedative solution
8. Wait 10min
9. Drink SN solution.

NOTE: I have 1,600mg of instant release Tapentadol (synthetic opioid) on hand, too.

 

[whotookmylexapro]

What is the paracetamol supposed to do? Is pain a reaction to SN ingestion?

 

[easypeasy]

What is the paracetamol supposed to do? Is pain a reaction to SN ingestion?

I've read that it helps with pain - headaches mainly.

 

[DarknessWave]

I wish you good luck and hope you find the peace that you've been looking for.

 

[needthebus]

It looks like you are really prepared.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Seems well thought out. I hope you find the peace you seek.

 

[deadbidaylight]

I'm so sorry that your circumstances have brought you to this point, but I hope you are able to free yourself of it and find the peace that you deserve. If I'm not online at the time you pass, goodbye friend, and good luck. Peace be with you

Also remember, it is totally okay to change your mind. You are loved and supported no matter the path you choose.

 

[OptingOutSmiling]

Sorry it has come to this for you, may you be freed from all the pain and find your peace. All the best friend, sending love on your journey.

 

[NegevChina]

I'm so sorry life brought you to this point. I wish you success and peace what ever path you take.

 

[easypeasy]

Thank you all for your wishes. It is 6pm where I am. Yesterday I couldn't go through with it: I was too nervous and couldn't commit to fasting. Also, a friend reached out and I didn't want them to think they could've "saved me" if they rang sooner. Today I feel calmer, although fasting is DEFINITELY still a struggle. For the curious…My reasons for ctb involve chronic pain. It's more complex, but that's the impetus.

I'm not sad or depressed right now….just HUNGRY!

I opened my SN and tested it for the first time, just now: both using strips and blood method. All is well, there. Looks legit.

I'm not too proud to call this off or postpone it if I'm not ready. But in the event I am ready….I hope it works. And… you'll know if I'm gone, because I won't post anymore. Give it at least a few days before counting me out.

I'm happy for people to use their discretion to share things I've messaged them privately, permitted it's in the best interest for mankind and in line with site guidelines.

I do wish I had an able body that wasn't in pain all day and night. I implore those of you with a functioning body to focus on physical fitness and do WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO DO to enjoy life as it's truly a gift. because living in limbo is torturing yourself. Sure, have a backup plan to end things but then focus your energy on feeling good. You owe it to yourself.

This got preachier than I expected but I do care about all of you xoxoxo

God damn it I'm hungry.

 

[easypeasy]

Meto downed. Sedative concoction downed. I mixed it in a mortar and pestle that apparently stored essential oils. It was not a pleasant surprise haha! Mouthwash helped.

SN measured. Milo and Otis on the tv. Watered the plants. Had a shower. Laid out all paperwork. Coming up to ten minutes post sedative mix…slightly relaxed but not greatly. I'll wait to notice it before downing SN. I suspect the adrenaline is overriding the copious amount of Valium.

THIS IS THE BRAVEST THING IVE EVER DONE. It's the opposite to cowardly, in my opinion. I keep telling myself that my loved ones will forgive me and I know I cannot hold on until my parents pass because my siblings are "every man for themself" and I don't want to wait to end things until the family is already undiergoing another difficult time,

Mum has encouraged me that she'll be ok. Other people not so much, I know they will be hurt, and I'm deeply sorry but I don't see another way. This was 3 years in the making, I'm sorry this is long winded…it's helping me xoxox I love you all.

The sedatives are taking hold, sadly this often thwarts my attempts because it pacificies me enough to call it off..

Wait if I wait another day. I want to see what happens on White lotus, I stalling because there is life I want to view from my room but I want this to be free sooner vs later.

I don't know how long sn suspension lasts but it seems close to the time. I wish I had something to talk to on the phone xoxox

 

[Chocoflo]

Bonjour, je vois que vous n'avez rien posté depuis 14h45. Etes-vous toujours là? Sinon tant mieux ...

 

[asthedayends00]

Keep us updated if you're still here xx

 

[easypeasy]

Damn it. That sedative mixture hit me with no warning. I should've downed both minutes one after the next. I need to wait 40 days before I'm due for more Valium! Very groggy today but feel fine after a coffee frappe. I woke up naturally 6 hours later. Damn it.

 

[opheliaoveragain]

timing the benzo close the sn is important. we're here for you

 

[mirrorman2]

Meto downed. Sedative concoction downed. I mixed it in a mortar and pestle that apparently stored essential oils. It was not a pleasant surprise haha! Mouthwash helped.

SN measured. Milo and Otis on the tv. Watered the plants. Had a shower. Laid out all paperwork. Coming up to ten minutes post sedative mix…slightly relaxed but not greatly. I'll wait to notice it before downing SN. I suspect the adrenaline is overriding the copious amount of Valium.

THIS IS THE BRAVEST THING IVE EVER DONE. It's the opposite to cowardly, in my opinion. I keep telling myself that my loved ones will forgive me and I know I cannot hold on until my parents pass because my siblings are "every man for themself" and I don't want to wait to end things until the family is already undiergoing another difficult time,

Mum has encouraged me that she'll be ok. Other people not so much, I know they will be hurt, and I'm deeply sorry but I don't see another way. This was 3 years in the making, I'm sorry this is long winded…it's helping me xoxox I love you all.

The sedatives are taking hold, sadly this often thwarts my attempts because it pacificies me enough to call it off..

Wait if I wait another day. I want to see what happens on White lotus, I stalling because there is life I want to view from my room but I want this to be free sooner vs later.

I don't know how long sn suspension lasts but it seems close to the time. I wish I had something to talk to on the phone xoxox

im new on the forums & your threads were the first I read. i couldnt help but think of you today. im happy that your attempt didnt seem to cause any bad health stuff besides failing to ctb. at least u get to watch white lotus <3

 

[KillingPain267]

Wait, a little opioids is allowed in the SN method? Opioids are my drugs of choice and feel like heaven. But everyone keeps saying it risks nausea, so I'm disappointed and don't look forward to taking SN, my only viable method currently.

 

[opheliaoveragain]

Wait, a little opioids is allowed in the SN method? Opioids are my drugs of choice and feel like heaven. But everyone keeps saying it risks nausea, so I'm disappointed and don't look forward to taking SN, my only viable method currently.

anything is technically allowed but research helps. check onset or be sure of your timing if you have a tolerance.

 

[KillingPain267]

anything is technically allowed but research helps. check onset or be sure of your timing if you have a tolerance.

Without tolerance, oxy does in fact give me nausea in high enough dose, but the nausea appears some hours later into the high. I really wish I could pull the SN protocol off with a nice cold glass of double scotch and half an oxy pill. A year ago I abused that and it made me feel good enough to postpone suicide.

 

[thinkingofdeath]

Damn it. That sedative moisture hit me with no warning. I should've downed both minutes one after the next. I need to wait 6 weeks before I'm due for more Valium! Very groggy today. I woke up naturally 6 hours later. Damn it.

You know what? You're still brave and strong and going through something insanely difficult. Falling asleep doesn't change that. I'm sorry things didn't work out the way you wanted, and I hope you feel better, that you learned something, and that you'll make the best of the extra time you now have.

 

[deadbidaylight]

You know what? You're still brave and strong and going through something insanely difficult. Falling asleep doesn't change that. I'm sorry things didn't work out the way you wanted, and I hope you feel better, that you learned something, and that you'll make the best of the extra time you now have.

I love this so much.

 

[easypeasy]

im new on the forums & your threads were the first I read. i couldnt help but think of you today. im happy that your attempt didnt seem to cause any bad health stuff besides failing to ctb. at least u get to watch white lotus <3

You are reading my mind to the point I'm laughing. Trying new perfumes and face creams and watching series is the only thing I live for. Armani Prive Suzhou saver here I come. Mixed with Juliette has a gun lady vengeance is the perfect combo

I've saved the SN IN A DARK DRAW WIRH MOSITIRE ABSORBING SACHETS IN THE BAG. Also in the draw itself. (Buy from hardware stores). Hopefully 40 days in the sealed matinee won't affect the accuracy. I'll test again on the day to be sure xoxoxo

 

[easypeasy]

SO annoyed I knocked myself out. Will need to wait until May 3rd for more benzos then another month because Mum and friends birthdays are in May. June is a long wait when you're ready to go. Damn it.

If you don't hear from me until then, I'm sulking :) PMs are ok, tho. :/

Maybe others will learn from my mistake

 

[tulero]

for someone who has never taken any kind of benzos, isn't it 300mg (30x10 mg diazepam) too much ? in ppeh it is recomended 500 but i really think even 300 is too much

i guess the logic behind is to take you down so fast that you dont feel anything, but again if you are down and you vomit the SN solution ? it doesnt sound good

 

[OptingOutSmiling]

SO annoyed I knocked myself out. Will need to wait until May 3rd for more benzos then another month because Mum and friends birthdays are in May. June is a long wait when you're ready to go. Damn it.

If you don't hear from me until then, I'm sulking :) PMs are ok, tho. :/

Maybe others will learn from my mistake

Time flies, and you have things going that will keep you busy. Be kind to yourself, you are VERY brave. Thanks for sharing, and I wouldn't even think of it as a mistake, it was a huge risk you dared to take on. Sending you hugs, and hope you find joy in every small thing from now until then.

 

[wham311]

timing the benzo close the sn is important. we're here for you

This seems crazy to me because ingesting that chemical is surely going to wake you up from a benzo high, no?

 

[asthedayends00]

This seems crazy to me because ingesting that chemical is surely going to wake you up from a benzo high, no?

The sn should have been taken almost immediately after that benzo mix since the dose was so high… waiting for the effects to kick in is a sure way to have the attempt to fail.