Method SN is ready to get picked up tomorrrow, I'm so relieved

[LastBitOfJoy]

I ordered my SN and wanted to take it from the store instead of delivering to home as I would have to explain what it is for to my family, and none of them would believe it. It would raise suspicions.

I feel incredibly relieved, like knowing there is a chance of me dying if I drink it makes me so happy. I am finally getting out of this painful existence, I have never really liked here.

I feel comfort in knowing that I have the option. I don't have to suffer no more.

 

[fire12362]

Yeah, I also recently found a source for SN and I'll hopefully soon order it. I haven't felt so much ease in such a long time. Every time I think I'm getting close to finding a source, I end up with this sudden calming feeling like I haven't had in months.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I'm glad you have your method ready and it relieves you. I wish u all the best and good luck!

 

[aslongasiremember]

Congrats! It's only been the past year that I realized how much comfort I get from thinking about CTB. Having the supplies as well must be such a relief!

 

[Light Dreamer]

I have ordered some of the stuff myself and thankfully, the option to pick it up from somewhere close by was available for me as well which is a life saver. Should be a couple of days before it gets here I hope? I'm still not actively thinking about it, I'll cross that bridge when the time comes

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand why you'd feel so relieved knowing you will have a way to reliably cease existing on your own terms, I see those with access to the SN as being fortunate. But anyway best wishes.

 

[IWishToDie]

I ordered my SN and wanted to take it from the store instead of delivering to home as I would have to explain what it is for to my family, and none of them would believe it. It would raise suspicions.

I feel incredibly relieved, like knowing there is a chance of me dying if I drink it makes me so happy. I am finally getting out of this painful existence, I have never really liked here.

I feel comfort in knowing that I have the option. I don't have to suffer no more.

Proud of you. Send me your supplier before you depart. Best wishes.

 

[uzuf86]

Op, are you in the US? Can you dm me your supplier please?

 

[LastBitOfJoy]

Proud of you. Send me your supplier before you depart. Best wishes.

I am in Turkey and I don't know the supplier is delivering abroad. Thank you

 

[LastBitOfJoy]

Op, are you in the US? Can you dm me your supplier please?

I am in Turkey.

 

[Mayonaise]

I 100% understand how you feel. When you're in so much pain for a long time you just want a way out. Sometimes, despite seeking help, one does not seem to get better and feels desperate because he feels trapped and out of control over his own life.
Once that way out becomes available, the person might or might not go for it, yet the thought of having control and being able to exit is reassuring.
People who have never been so desperate will never understand what it feels like. If you really decide to go, I respect that.

 

[hopeless08]

Yeah, I also recently found a source for SN and I'll hopefully soon order it. I haven't felt so much ease in such a long time. Every time I think I'm getting close to finding a source, I end up with this sudden calming feeling like I haven't had in months.

That's the way I feel too but it's horrible when you get excited about almost finding a source , getting closer to end your pain only to get disappointed when your plan goes to hell…. It's exhausted.
I'm afraid to hope anymore.
I'm glad you found a way out and that you will finally in peace

 

[Unsure and alone]

I 100% understand how you feel. When you're in so much pain for a long time you just want a way out. Sometimes, despite seeking help, one does not seem to get better and feels desperate because he feels trapped and out of control over his own life.
Once that way out becomes available, the person might or might not go for it, yet the thought of having control and being able to exit is reassuring.
People who have never been so desperate will never understand what it feels like. If you really decide to go, I respect that.

You found words for some of what I feel.

For what I felt when I was gathering the wrong pills , crushing them and then believing it was ready.

It's reassuring to have an option when things are bad .

I miss that comfort.

But I am glad to know before trying an OD just how wrong I was .

Still I hold on to those pills in case because I don't have anything better right now.

 

[fire12362]

That's the way I feel too but it's horrible when you get excited about almost finding a source , getting closer to end your pain only to get disappointed when your plan goes to hell…. It's exhausted.
I'm afraid to hope anymore.
I'm glad you found a way out and that you will finally in peace

Well... My source still has to get here, and even then, I still have to test it, so I still have anxiety about that. Also anxiety about fucking up because if I end up passing out, but still alive, I have a maximum of probably 16 hours before someone sees me and I fear being put under suicide watch.

 

[ilaya]

Well... My source still has to get here, and even then, I still have to test it, so I still have anxiety about that. Also anxiety about fucking up because if I end up passing out, but still alive, I have a maximum of probably 16 hours before someone sees me and I fear being put under suicide watch.

are you in the US?

 

[fire12362]

are you in the US?

Yes

 

[ilaya]

Yes

Did you order from the Ukraine? i desperately need an SN source... its so hard to get here. I also dont want to wait weeks.

 

[fire12362]

send me a message

 

[Unsure and alone]

send me a message

Is it okay if I ask for the source ?
I really need a viable option.
Hard being stuck with just stupid possibilities to CTB .

Makes sticking around less of a choice since I don't want to wind up worse off than before.