SN has officially arrived. I can now hipothetically CTB whenever I want, but I'm not planning to use it immediately. I plan to use it within 6 months to a year from now (no particular reason, just the time I decided that I've left until I turn the lights off).
I really haven't a reason to live. Nothing motivates me, I don't find the joy in anything anymore, no one cares about me and I don't really care about anyone.
The only person who might be affected by my CTB is my mom. I don't even love her, but I do feel a hint of guilt because I think she's had a a shit life and a son killing himself would be the straw that breaks the camel's back. But It's not gonna stop me from doing what I think is right for myself. She imposed this repulsive world onto me and I at the very least should have the right to leave it.
I really haven't a reason to live. Nothing motivates me, I don't find the joy in anything anymore, no one cares about me and I don't really care about anyone.
The only person who might be affected by my CTB is my mom. I don't even love her, but I do feel a hint of guilt because I think she's had a a shit life and a son killing himself would be the straw that breaks the camel's back. But It's not gonna stop me from doing what I think is right for myself. She imposed this repulsive world onto me and I at the very least should have the right to leave it.
