Dr Iron Arc
Into the Unknown
- Feb 10, 2020
- 20,718
On the one hand, I'm pretty excited that it's here even though I don't plan to use it for at least over a year from now. I'm fairly sure it'll be safely stored in my room which no one in my house has any reason to disturb plus it should stay cool and dry as long as I keep it out of the sunlight. Since I live in the good ol' U.S. of A, I'm lucky that I didn't have to jump through hoops to get it. I ordered from the LW supplier through a certain online retailer which I think was successful for other users before too. Just having it now is really reassuring though since it means I can start to set my other exit plans in motion as I prepare over the next couple years.
There are two issues with how I received it though:
-When I opened the package, I could smell something strong. It kind of smelled like a mixture of bleach or paste and salt. I hope that this doesn't mean any kind of seal was broken. I don't want to open it yet for fear it may become useless if I do so I gotta ask, is this smell normal for unopened SN from this supplier? I am hoping I won't have to do a blood or aquarium test since this supplier's product seemed reliable enough.
-The other problem is that it actually arrived a day early. I was thinking it would arrive tomorrow so when I came home from work I was shocked when my sister (the non-autistic one) told me she found a package for me and left it in the garage. She said it pretty casually and I don't think she knew what it was but I'm just a tiny bit worried that if she were to look up the supplier company (their name and address is on the package) she'd find out what it was about and try to call me out on it or force me to get help. She doesn't know I'm on a suicide forum but she does know I've had reason to feel very suicidal recently. She asked me no such questions about the content of the package though so maybe I'm just overreacting.
Anyways, that's my deal right now. My excitement and relief definitely outweighs my anxiety at the moment at least.
There are two issues with how I received it though:
-When I opened the package, I could smell something strong. It kind of smelled like a mixture of bleach or paste and salt. I hope that this doesn't mean any kind of seal was broken. I don't want to open it yet for fear it may become useless if I do so I gotta ask, is this smell normal for unopened SN from this supplier? I am hoping I won't have to do a blood or aquarium test since this supplier's product seemed reliable enough.
-The other problem is that it actually arrived a day early. I was thinking it would arrive tomorrow so when I came home from work I was shocked when my sister (the non-autistic one) told me she found a package for me and left it in the garage. She said it pretty casually and I don't think she knew what it was but I'm just a tiny bit worried that if she were to look up the supplier company (their name and address is on the package) she'd find out what it was about and try to call me out on it or force me to get help. She doesn't know I'm on a suicide forum but she does know I've had reason to feel very suicidal recently. She asked me no such questions about the content of the package though so maybe I'm just overreacting.
Anyways, that's my deal right now. My excitement and relief definitely outweighs my anxiety at the moment at least.
