Discussion Single people: Loneliness and gender/sexuality poll

[Forever Sleep]

I've just read a thread about specifically male loneliness and I do often see posts concerning loneliness in general. I think it's certainly a major factor in ideation. I'm curious though- gender and sexuality wise, I wonder which it affects more.

I'm female and alone but I rarely feel lonely. It isn't a major factor for me in wanting to CTB. So, I thought it would be interesting to see some statistics...

I guess this one is more for those of us who are single- although I suppose you could still be lonely if you have a partner/family around. Really though, it's probably going to work better if only the people with the most potential to be lonely take part I suppose! If that makes sense! ie. Single people.

I'm curious to see whether it is single males who feel the impact more of loneliness these days. I know a fair number of independent single women who are quite content to be alone. I'm also curious to see whether sexuality plays a role. Are there differences in the gay and trans communities? I used up all the available lines for the questionnaire. I tried to make it inclusive but my apologies if it isn't. Also bear in mind that it would likely reveal 3 major things about yourself- possibly your relationship status, gender and sexuality- so- please don't take part if you feel uncomfortable revealing that. Thanks all.

 

[TotallyNotWielkiM]

What if I'm a single bisexual male, who doesn't mind being lonesome, but probably would be open to trying out a relationship with someone who seems worth the emotional investment?

 

[Forever Sleep]

What if I'm a single bisexual male, who doesn't mind being lonesome, but probably would be open to trying out a relationship with someone who seems worth the emotional investment?

Then, I'm sincerely sorry you weren't represented... there are only a limited number of lines in those polls... I knew I'd offend someone... sorry!

I allowed multiple votes though, you could go for straight male and gay male who doesn't mind being lonely as a compromise... I hope you meet that someone worth the investment though.

 

[TotallyNotWielkiM]

Then, I'm sincerely sorry you weren't represented... there are only a limited number of lines in those polls... I knew I'd offend someone... sorry!

I allowed multiple votes though, you could go for straight male and gay male who doesn't mind being lonely as a compromise... I hope you meet that someone worth the investment though.

Hahaha, it's okay, I wasn't offended or trying to sound offended, was just writing this half jokingly.

 

[vitbar]

Male, bi, and loneliness is a major factor in my suicidality.

 

[BlackMoon]

Does it count to be in a couple but feeling constantly lonely?

 

[Forever Sleep]

Does it count to be in a couple but feeling constantly lonely?

I'm so sorry. In many ways, I think that must be worse.

 

[SpiritualDeath]

I'm female with no sexuality (I'm not even sure if such concept applies to me). Haven't been in a relationship at all, and this thread just reminded me that I don't even have any friend to hang out with irl. And no, loneliness doesn't bother me. It's just the way I exist I guess.

 

[Celerity]

I'm female, bi, and loneliness definitely bothers me. My lack of experience is quickly turning out to be a life regret. At 30, I feel like I have missed the boat.

 

[AInilam]

Female, bi and loneliness has left its mark on me as well. I am far too disgusted with myself, far too broken and far too traumatized to ever be in a healthy, happy and functional relationship.

 

[certified_idiot]

I'm aroace, so I'm not that interested in getting a partner, but loneliness still bothers me. I don't want to be super social, that sounds like hell to me, I just want a close friend. I have friends, but I don't hang out that much with them. I just want someone to hang out with regularly.

 

[leavingthesoultrap]

No asexual option?

 

[Forever Sleep]

No asexual option?

Sorry- there are only so many lines available in these polls... I missed out bi as well and it seems like there are lots of loney bi members... You can aways run a new poll...

 

[AsexualArgonianBard]

Well, I can't really vote here because I'm asexual. So I'll respond instead:

I'm male and asexual, and am entirely unbothered by romantic loneliness. Do I wish I had more friends? Sure. Do I wish I had a partner? Never in my dreams.

 

[TheShadowKing]

Male Bi loneliness bothers me but I've accepted it

 

[vitbar]

I'm female, bi, and loneliness definitely bothers me. My lack of experience is quickly turning out to be a life regret. At 30, I feel like I have missed the boat.

Similar age and totally get where you are coming from.

I worry it'll be seen as a red flag too. Not that I don't have some experience, but less than many my age.

 

[Celerity]

 

[LikeAPendulum]

Months back I lied to myself in thinking that "at least I'm alone on my own terms".

didn't take long for me to realize that I'm still alone and it still hurts

 

[Anonymoususer1234]

I'm trans and cupiosexual which is an awful combination of things to be.

Friendships are difficult because I'm trans. People tend to try to group me into a male/female category and I'm often too nervous to correct them. Speaking to other human beings is a dysphoria inducing experience a lot of the time. It makes it hard to get close to people. That and my lack of social skills.

Dating is impossible because I don't feel the romantic and sexual attraction required.

Being queer is isolating. I think I'd have friends and/or a relationship if I was a cis-straight person. But that could be wishful thinking. Who knows.

 

[ADeadBunny]

I'm trans and bi... pan? Idk I just don't care who my partner identifies as long as it works. I wouldn't know what that feels like though because I've never been in a real relationship before.

Loneliness bothers me a great deal. I can't form a single meaningful relationship it feels like. I have a couple friends, but I don't feel like we feel the same way about each other. Like all of my relationships become one sided one way or the other. Most of the time I just feel gross interacting with people in general. I feel like an outside observer in life, so I feel a strong disconnect from others. It feels like I'm doing something wrong by interacting with others people most of the time.

I think if I had been born cis a lot of my problems wouldn't be as bad. I'd probably be able to form relationships with people without feeling icky. Idk might just be putting too much weight on one issue. It's not like I'll ever know what it would've been like anyway.

 

[Flameboyant]

Gender indifferent and aroace. Loneliness does not bother me at all, infact i prefer it.

 

[mediocre]

I am gay in my thirties and never had a romantic relationship. It doesn't bother me anywhere near as much as not having close friends or people I can lean on in life. Or close family.

I never had sex either.. and that doesn't really bother me at all. It's not something I spend a lot of time thinking about. Others seem to place more emphasis on it than me..

 

[daocreator]

I've just read a thread about specifically male loneliness and I do often see posts concerning loneliness in general. I think it's certainly a major factor in ideation. I'm curious though- gender and sexuality wise, I wonder which it affects more.

I'm female and alone but I rarely feel lonely. It isn't a major factor for me in wanting to CTB. So, I thought it would be interesting to see some statistics...

I guess this one is more for those of us who are single- although I suppose you could still be lonely if you have a partner/family around. Really though, it's probably going to work better if only the people with the most potential to be lonely take part I suppose! If that makes sense! ie. Single people.

I'm curious to see whether it is single males who feel the impact more of loneliness these days. I know a fair number of independent single women who are quite content to be alone. I'm also curious to see whether sexuality plays a role. Are there differences in the gay and trans communities? I used up all the available lines for the questionnaire. I tried to make it inclusive but my apologies if it isn't. Also bear in mind that it would likely reveal 3 major things about yourself- possibly your relationship status, gender and sexuality- so- please don't take part if you feel uncomfortable revealing that. Thanks all.

I've been asexual (I know what I'm about to say contradicts the term, generally) for most of my life due to maturing early (which is relative, of course) but as of late I've been rethinking many of my decisions.

Of course, it's to give myself a countdown; when it runs out, I'll see if I truly consider CTB as the only solution or am willing to continue life.

Anyway, for the 'as of late', it's since the pandemic. I'm heterosexual, now.

I won't lie to myself, I do want more friends, experience what others would, etc. it's more like realising things doesn't automatically having it figured out, which is what I'm trying to understand now.

I'm more or less lonely, since I live by myself without anyone ik. So, yes, male loneliness is indeed a reason why I'd want to CTB; just not my major one.

 

[sadwriter]

I'm single myself and have always preferred it this way (I've had three relationships in my life, one of which was actually serious), but loneliness in the non-romantic sense has been an issue for me for a lot of my life...

 

[Myforevercharlie]

Female straight single. Being alone doesn't bother me, but loneliness does.

 

[Myforevercharlie]

I am gay in my thirties and never had a romantic relationship. It doesn't bother me anywhere near as much as not having close friends or people I can lean on in life. Or close family.

I never had sex either.. and that doesn't really bother me at all. It's not something I spend a lot of time thinking about. Others seem to place more emphasis on it than me..

You'll always have me as a friend stupid Pillocky

 

[mediocre]

You'll always have me as a friend stupid Pillocky

and you'll always have me to M!!!

 

[MindFrog]

F, gay being alone does bother me but not enough to find a partner. It feels like more stress to be in a relationship when you're mentally ill.

 

[Skathon]

Mine isn't listed.

 

[Dead Horse]

Straight male here. My self-esteem is so low that I can't fathom the idea that another person could ever consider me for a partner. It's not so much loneliness that bothers me, I'm so depressed and uninterested in life anyway, that it's easier being alone. It's the idea that I'm not worthy of love that hurts me the most. The lack of experience as other users mentioned, is one of the reasons I'm very pessimistic about my future romantically, even if I get better otherwise.