Single life vs partnership

[Susannah]

Is it possible to live a good single life? Or do you think most people will manage life better being in a relationship? I wonder. Everybody wants some love in their lives, but we all know that love fades after a while, the intense romance and excitement disapear. I've been in 2 really serious relations. The first 2y worked fine, but after that, I kind of lost those feelings I had, and I didn't develope any new feelings, so I gave up the whole thing. I read your stories here, and I notice many of you are in relations or you think a lot about it. Do we become less lonely when in a relation?

I often felt more lonely when I had a partner. I always wanted to find my soulmate, the love of my life... When I thought I did, I resumed I'd never feel loneliness again. But it became worse, and I gave up.

Now I wonder if I should open up again...

 

[Sinkinshyp]

I've been in to many live in serious relationships to admit or try to remember. Some lasted 2 months some longer longest was just past 7 or 8 yrs. The guy I was with for 7 or 8 yrs we had a son together. There wasn't this I love you deeply feeling on my part he wanted to marry me. I was more depressed & lonely with him than I was being single raising my sons. By choice except 6-8months I have been single about 10 years. I wanted to find that soul mate true love story it didn't happen.

 

[Life_and_Death]

I personally dont. It's adding a lot of complications to life

 

[LittleJem]

I was in a marriage where I was really miserable and bored and where we went to couples therapy for years and years and never understood each other.

My relationship now is easy - he is easy-going, generous hearted and a great hugger. I love him dearly, but I am not 'in love' with him - which for me is a good thing, as the person I loved the most was volatile and angry and then wasn't there for me when I needed him. This relationship is a great friendship with benefits and it is a love relationship - but based on care, shared humour and companionship. He is a hermit though who wants to live alone - and I would like someone to live with in the future - to cook for on a regular basis and to pair their socks and share bills and have a cat- just practical stuff really.

I don't know if I will feel attraction or love again - as at the moment I am pretty numb or stoned, so while I do feel it for my partner in a better frame of mind, most of the time I don't have many feelings either.

 

[Lester Cohle]

I don't know. Two months ago I finally (after nearly 4 years) said about my feelings to someone I really liked, and she said that she needed some time to think about it... well, I waited for a whole damn month, and all that time I prayed that she would refuse. Finally, she did refuse, and I'm still heartbroken, since I simultaneously wanted to be with her while fully realizing that I'm no good.

 

[raindrops]

I was in a marriage where I was really miserable and bored and where we went to couples therapy for years and years and never understood each other.

My relationship now is easy - he is easy-going, generous hearted and a great hugger. I love him dearly, but I am not 'in love' with him - which for me is a good thing, as the person I loved the most was volatile and angry and then wasn't there for me when I needed him. This relationship is a great friendship with benefits and it is a love relationship - but based on care, shared humour and companionship. He is a hermit though who wants to live alone - and I would like someone to live with in the future - to cook for on a regular basis and to pair their socks and share bills and have a cat- just practical stuff really.

I don't know if I will feel attraction or love again - as at the moment I am pretty numb or stoned, so while I do feel it for my partner in a better frame of mind, most of the time I don't have many feelings either.

This is exactly what I want to cook for a certain someone, pair their socks, share bills, grow old together.
The thing is I had that but I was volatile, I was angry. I was with someone for 11 years he left because of my attitude and how mental I could react to things.
We speak now everyday, things are going so well! I just want to prove that I'm easy going, generous and caring when before I was self centred.
I love him more every time I look at him, reading what you put worries me though "love dearly but not in love" now I'm wondering what he thinks of me lol

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I've been single my entire life which makes it so easy to idolize being in a relationship since I don't personally know enough about the challenges one has to face to make it work. I don't think it's impossible to live a good life while being single, but like with a relationship one still has to work for making their life good for themselves in that case. I think overall I'd still prefer a relationship but I know from the many breakups and divorces I've witnessed that the relationship alone isn't necessarily what works best, it's when that relationship is perfect and ideal in a fairy-tale kind of way where both people are completely upfront with each other about everything. This is far less likely to happen and some would say it's even impossible, which it very well might be.

 

[Valon]

I think humans by nature need companionship, although modern relationships in 2020 are utter bullshit. Society is fucked and I'm not interested in trying to make it work with anyone anymore.

 

[the witch’s lament]

I think humans by nature need companionship, although modern relationships in 2020 are utter bullshit. Society is fucked and I'm not interested in trying to make it work with anyone anymore.

expanding on this. our primal nature is to have a companion of some kind. our human nature is to not be alone. to the primal's discredit, we have ways to reproduce/continue life without the needs for a companion due to science. to the human's discredit, life is hard. why make that a harder equation with two variables? in other words, now is the best time to be alone. but is that what we really want? I've had romantic partners whom I have loved. and had is the most important word in the sentence.

 

[Throwawaysoul]

I've been in a few long term relationships, I've been hurt and have hurt people. They end up feeling like parents that you have sex with. I like to be completely free and not answer to very many people. To me freedom outweighs sex. Also finding a woman that accepts me for me, doesn't want to marry and doesn't want to needlessly reproduce is almost impossible. That being said, I accepted my fate and embrace single life.

 

[almost_dead]

I have been in a relationship with someone whom i had intense crush on and even that faded away after an year or so . I do believe relationship are okay but I am strictly against marriage . Marriage implies destruction of individual freedom . Also I will like to remain childfree so that too .

 

[LonelyNick]

I've had many relationships and it only caused me grief...

 

[Passerby]

Keep you're sanity and remain single.

 

[Mr2005]

Girlfriends currently deciding what to do. "If you won't work towards getting better I don't know" . I don't know if I can ever get better.

 

[Lmd]

You have to be able to live a good single life in order to have a good partnership life. That's a must

 

[Garbage Person]

Friends with benefits are the best relations, especially if said friends are true caring, loving friends. Single lifestyle allows more room for self improvement and control. I'd rather not have the added responsibility of a committed relationship. Also, if you're not completely sold on life, it's probably best not to drag someone else along on your ride.

 

[mpnf]

doesn't want to marry and doesn't want to needlessly reproduce is almost impossible.

You described me there...

 

[Amumu]

I have been in a relationship with someone whom i had intense crush on and even that faded away after an year or so . I do believe relationship are okay but I am strictly against marriage . Marriage implies destruction of individual freedom . Also I will like to remain childfree so that too .

Marriage is a free contract between two persons. The definition of individual freedom. Freedom isn't "I can do what the hell I want".

 

[almost_dead]

Marriage is a free contract between two persons. The definition of individual freedom. Freedom isn't "I can do what the hell I want".

I will give you some candy , get in my car .

 

[woxihuanni]

If one has the idea that relationships are about excitement and feelings, they shouldn't drag anybody else to invest and lose a couple of years of their life with them.

 

[Amumu]

I will give you some candy , get in my car .

between two persons who are older than 18*

 

[almost_dead]

between two persons who are older than 18*

we can make it work

 

[Marktheghost]

You have to be able to live a good single life in order to have a good partnership life. That's a must

There's no hope for me then. I can't cope with loneliness.

 

[Deleted member 19654]

At this point in my life it's just easier to be single. I'm depressed and suicidal so it just wouldn't be fair to drag someone into my mess.