Since I plan to CTB in the next 2 month, is it selfish to try to date ?

[LunarLynx]

It's in the title, I go on a ""date"" tomorrow but I can't stop thinking about it, I think that I am really selfish since I will catch the bus in not too long (waiting for the SN to arrive, in about a week) and to get the antiemetics, I'll need about 2 or 3 more weeks.

So is it selfish ? would you go for it ?

 

[exiled]

It's very considerate of you to ask this question before going on the date. A lot of people would not really pay any mind to something like this, so before anything I just want to thank you on behalf of... well, society. That being said, I know most people here would tell you to just live your life to the fullest while you can and just go for it. I think most people here will encourage you to give yourself "one last moment of joy" before you end it all. I'd understand the sentiment behind that and I think that it would come from a loving place. However, I truly do disagree.

This website is hard for me because I really hate that people want to die. But at the same time, obviously I get it. I'm here, and I want people to be understanding of my desire to CTB. I think if you are truly set on taking your life, then perhaps minimize the casualties. This person may end up really liking you and wanting to pursue something with you (assuming you go out multiple times). It would be one more person who would feel really hurt and confused (and I am not saying that would be your fault).

I do believe, however, if dating is something that has crossed your mind then perhaps you may want to hold off on CTB. You could go on this date and see if meeting someone new gives you a fresh perspective on things.

All that to say: if you're SET on CTB, I would avoid going on the date. If you're open to potential recovery, go. That's my two cents - I'm sure I will probably get a little backlash for that.

Regardless, please take care of yourself. I can tell you have a loving heart for people to even be considering what another person may feel. You're a good person, we need more like you around here. I wish you nothing but peace, whatever you decide to do.

 

[LunarLynx]

First, THANKS SO MUCH FOR YOUR RESPONSE, it was so lovely <3

Then, It's not really a date, my friend girlfriend has a friend which could be my type, so we'll go to the rink all together (we'll be 4) So I think I'll just go and don't force things.

To be honest, I don't find life interesting at all and that's the main reason I want to CTB, however when I was in a relationship a couple month ago (even if it was toxic as hell) I had not a lot of CTB thought.

Sooooooooo it could maybe light the spark I need to stay here ? IDK AT ALL.

I think I'll just go as a "friend of a friend" and if THE spark appear between us then I'll consider to not CTB, but I don't think it'll will since I feel only void and my feelings are really... low we'll say.

One again, thanks a lot for your message and I hope you'll be happy in the need future ! (either by catching the bus and be free or by a cool recovery)
lot of love on you @401kind

 

[exiled]

First, THANKS SO MUCH FOR YOUR RESPONSE, it was so lovely <3

Then, It's not really a date, my friend girlfriend has a friend which could be my type, so we'll go to the rink all together (we'll be 4) So I think I'll just go and don't force things.

To be honest, I don't find life interesting at all and that's the main reason I want to CTB, however when I was in a relationship a couple month ago (even if it was toxic as hell) I had not a lot of CTB thought.

Sooooooooo it could maybe light the spark I need to stay here ? IDK AT ALL.

I think I'll just go as a "friend of a friend" and if THE spark appear between us then I'll consider to not CTB, but I don't think it'll will since I feel only void and my feelings are really... low we'll say.

One again, thanks a lot for your message and I hope you'll be happy in the need future ! (either by catching the bus and be free or by a cool recovery)
lot of love on you @401kind

Sweet! Sounds like you have a pretty clear vision of what you want to do and I think it's great that you're being open minded to the outcome. I really truly hope that this ends up turning out in your favor, whatever that means. I want nothing but peace for you! If you do decide that you want to fight the good fight and pursue recovery - or even just toy around with the idea - you are more than welcome to message me and I'll give you my Discord tag.

As much as I am thankful for SS and for people being pro-choice, I really do like to fight alongside people to live if they have even a shadow of a doubt. Who knows, this life could turn around and become worth living. SS does not always do a great job of highlighting that possibility. I'm rooting for you, and of course, accepting that you may not make the decision that I (a stranger on the internet) want for you.

 

[TheBroken]

Date yes. Who knows why the person(s) you may date are dating themselves or if they'll care that you go. Its your life and open to be lived how you want. Not suggesting intentionally hurting anyone else.

 

[F@#$]

Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law.