… especially if they have an incurable disease such as Alzheimer's, cancer, etc.?
It's been awhile since I've cared about sharing anything personal on here as I've tried distancing myself from the site, but I felt this would be the only place to understand so why not.
Anyway, lately the fear of my mother getting Alzheimer's has been growing especially since she's been forgetting things more like paying the house payment and such. We've discussed this before especially considering my grandmother whom is my mom's mother had Alzheimer's also and knows all too well what's in store for her if she gets it. It took a grueling 13 years for my grandmother to finally die from it for damn sake. My mom has said before she would want me to if it does become bad, but she obviously feels hesitant to even talk about it let alone entertaining any plans for it.
I've considered sharing what I've learned about the SN method, but that would give away my plans for myself. Also if she doesn't kill herself after I do, then by the time she'd want to actually potentially use it it would probably be too late for her to know wtf she's supposed to do given that Alzheimer's impairs your ability to do stuff. My biggest fear is her actually getting it and knowing my luck in life she probably will and now I'm left feeling bad if I kill myself before or during whenever she gets it, she won't be able to kill herself and will be trapped here in her deteriorating body for years until she dies. I can't stomach the idea of killing her myself as it's too traumatic that's why I wish I could tell her about the SN before killing myself or when I ctb leave one of the SN bottles in my room for her to find somehow but knowing her she'd give it to the authorities. Now I feel like a horrible son, but if it was the only way and she asked I would try or atleast like to think so but still it's such a conflicting feeling.
Apologies for the long backstory I know no one cares. I just wanted to give an example and how conflicting it actually is when the situation arises, but anyway what do you think would you do it for a loved one?
It's been awhile since I've cared about sharing anything personal on here as I've tried distancing myself from the site, but I felt this would be the only place to understand so why not.
Anyway, lately the fear of my mother getting Alzheimer's has been growing especially since she's been forgetting things more like paying the house payment and such. We've discussed this before especially considering my grandmother whom is my mom's mother had Alzheimer's also and knows all too well what's in store for her if she gets it. It took a grueling 13 years for my grandmother to finally die from it for damn sake. My mom has said before she would want me to if it does become bad, but she obviously feels hesitant to even talk about it let alone entertaining any plans for it.
I've considered sharing what I've learned about the SN method, but that would give away my plans for myself. Also if she doesn't kill herself after I do, then by the time she'd want to actually potentially use it it would probably be too late for her to know wtf she's supposed to do given that Alzheimer's impairs your ability to do stuff. My biggest fear is her actually getting it and knowing my luck in life she probably will and now I'm left feeling bad if I kill myself before or during whenever she gets it, she won't be able to kill herself and will be trapped here in her deteriorating body for years until she dies. I can't stomach the idea of killing her myself as it's too traumatic that's why I wish I could tell her about the SN before killing myself or when I ctb leave one of the SN bottles in my room for her to find somehow but knowing her she'd give it to the authorities. Now I feel like a horrible son, but if it was the only way and she asked I would try or atleast like to think so but still it's such a conflicting feeling.
Apologies for the long backstory I know no one cares. I just wanted to give an example and how conflicting it actually is when the situation arises, but anyway what do you think would you do it for a loved one?
