asdfandqwerty
some guy
- Feb 27, 2022
- 65
By a "this is it" moment, I mean that time when you'll be making the arrangements to CTB - and the realization that "this will be the end of everything you know" settling in that comes with it.
I despise waking up to the same reality every day and I'm already making plans to (hopefully) peacefully exit, but at the same time, I live somewhat in fear of coming to realistic terms with that.
Maybe I still have some mental preparation to do, or maybe I'm foolish. I find immense comfort in the thought of ending it all, but some part of me cannot let it go, which I hate (though thankfully, I think that feeling is getting weaker as time goes on). Is this SI?
Regardless, this fear surfaces most often in moments when I feel most uptight, so maybe that's somehow related to it. It's not enough to stop me in the long run, but it is something I face on the daily, so I just wanted to put it into words I guess.
I despise waking up to the same reality every day and I'm already making plans to (hopefully) peacefully exit, but at the same time, I live somewhat in fear of coming to realistic terms with that.
Maybe I still have some mental preparation to do, or maybe I'm foolish. I find immense comfort in the thought of ending it all, but some part of me cannot let it go, which I hate (though thankfully, I think that feeling is getting weaker as time goes on). Is this SI?
Regardless, this fear surfaces most often in moments when I feel most uptight, so maybe that's somehow related to it. It's not enough to stop me in the long run, but it is something I face on the daily, so I just wanted to put it into words I guess.