Venting Sick of getting told I don't exist

[DynamicDepression]

I've been sexually abused since I was 12 by numerous men and women, both of my own age and much older than me. I've searched for help to cope with the trauma of being raped and assaulted for so long, yet everywhere I turn I get told I don't exist because "men can't be raped". It's so disheartening to be treated as if my pain doesn't exist because of my gender.

Even otherwise progressive people I know just brush it off. Some have even said that my experiences don't matter because "most rape victims are women". I just can't wrap my head around the idea that because I'm a minority I don't deserve help or even basic acknowledgment. Just ridicule and anger.

 

[FuneralCry]

Some people really are so cruel and it is such a horrible, unfair world that we live in. I'm sorry that you have to endure all this suffering. I wish you the best.

 

[onleana]

im sooo fucking sorry. this is heartbreaking. u do exist and ur assults were real. u deserve all the help in the world. im so so so angry that people made u feel this way. my heart is seriously breaking for u. i wish u the best man <333333

 

[motel rooms]

I've been sexually abused since I was 12 by numerous men and women, both of my own age and much older than me. I've searched for help to cope with the trauma of being raped and assaulted for so long, yet everywhere I turn I get told I don't exist because "men can't be raped". It's so disheartening to be treated as if my pain doesn't exist because of my gender.

Even otherwise progressive people I know just brush it off. Some have even said that my experiences don't matter because "most rape victims are women". I just can't wrap my head around the idea that because I'm a minority I don't deserve help or even basic acknowledgment. Just ridicule and anger.

If male victims of sexual abuse are still treated like that even in Scandinavia, what hope is there for those of us from other parts of the world?
Not only are we brushed aside, but we're also stigmatized as potentially dangerous due to the despicable myth that a lot of sexually abused boys become pedophiles.

 

[DynamicDepression]

If male victims of sexual abuse are still treated like that even in Scandinavia, what hope is there for those of us from other parts of the world?
Not only are we brushed aside, but we're also stigmatized as potentially dangerous due to the despicable myth that a lot of sexually abused boys become pedophiles.

It really is awful. We're progressive in a lot of ways, especially in terms of gender equality, but sadly this thinking is something that's still all too common.

I've read parts of your story, and I'm so very sorry you've had to go through something that is much worse than I have. When the trauma I have is unbearable, I can only imagine how it must be for you.

 

[novem]

It really is awful. We're progressive in a lot of ways, especially in terms of gender equality, but sadly this thinking is something that's still all too common.

I've read parts of your story, and I'm so very sorry you've had to go through something that is much worse than I have. When the trauma I have is unbearable, I can only imagine how it must be for you.

Have you talked to a qualified psychotherapist ? I was not raped but i know what it means to be abused, i have low self esteem and anxiety because of it. I still could not find a psychotherapist who knew what they were doing... I know a guy who was molested by an adult and he is doing all-right, another one sleeps in his underwear even wile having sex, but no thoughts about ctb.

 

[Lullaby]

I'm really sorry, OP. Men don't get enough support when it comes to trauma like this and it only makes things worse.

I don't know how much this'll help but I found this YouTube channel a few months ago, it's from an organization called 1 in 6 and it's dedicated to men opening up about their stories of sexual abuse. I hope it's not too triggering. I'm a woman who's been raped and abused, and sometimes hearing others talk about their stories reminds me I'm not alone.

https://youtube.com/c/1in6org

You and so many others definitely exist.

 

[DynamicDepression]

Have you talked to a qualified psychotherapist ? I was not raped but i know what it means to be abused, i have low self esteem and anxiety because of it. I still could not find a psychotherapist who knew what they were doing... I know a guy who was molested by an adult and he is doing all-right, another one sleeps in his underwear even wile having sex, but no thoughts about ctb.

I have spoken to multiple psychotherapists who specialize in sexual abuse. Unfortunately, it's an uphill battle since they seem keen on not believing me when I tell them what happened. It's only ever made things worse for me since I also believe myself to be at fault for what happened (intellectually I know I'm the victim, but emotionally I feel like I did it upon myself).

I'm glad those guys are doing well. Unfortunately, the sexual abuse is only partially the reason why I wish to CTB. I greatly appreciate your kind words of encouragement, though!

I'm really sorry, OP. Men don't get enough support when it comes to trauma like this and it only makes things worse.

I don't know how much this'll help but I found this YouTube channel a few months ago, it's from an organization called 1 in 6 and it's dedicated to men opening up about their stories of sexual abuse. I hope it's not too triggering. I'm a woman who's been raped and abused, and sometimes hearing others talk about their stories reminds me I'm not alone.

https://youtube.com/c/1in6org

You and so many others definitely exist.

Thank you, I will definitely check it out. I'm so sorry you've had to have to go through this too. It really is the most awful thing in the world and not even the cruelest of people deserve such a fate.

 

[Sprite_Geist]

Even otherwise progressive people I know just brush it off. Some have even said that my experiences don't matter because "most rape victims are women". I just can't wrap my head around the idea that because I'm a minority I don't deserve help or even basic acknowledgment. Just ridicule and anger.

Whether or not males are sexually abused less (or more) than females is, or at least should be, irrelevant. It is never acceptable - at all - and your experiences are valid; you are a victim.

Also it is interesting how you have mentioned that others may not take your experiences seriously, because you belong to a minority group in regard to sexual violence. In other situations that involve some form of abuse against a specific people the minority groups actually take priority - such as with racism. This shows some inconsistent thinking in individuals who claim to be progressive.

Suffering is not a competition, and you deserve the support that anybody else gets.

 

[GentleJerk]

Oh I'm so sorry @DynamicDepression, I very much understand your situation. It might be uncommon but just know that many people are still capable of acknowledging your trauma. I hope you are able to heal from the past and that things get better for you in every possible way!