I'll probably have to get drunk or on benzos or both. I realized that overthinking suicide method was SI manipulating me. But for having tested it, I can say that even drunk, it's extremely hard to get rid of it. And SI will probably prevent me from getting drunk anyway if it knows my plan. It's very tricky, because in order to trick SI, you'd had to have a plan without SI being aware of your plan. The true question is, how to hide stuff from ourselves. Th subconscious mind does it all the time but it seems impossible for the conscious mind
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