Help SI or second thoughts?

[Dreamlesssleep]

I can't decide if what I want is to give life a second chance or if it's my self instincts fucking my plan up once again.

I have decided to CTB on September the 13th about a month ago. Because in my situation it's actually the perfect date. And I have written my notes. Made sure my method is secure and as successful as possible. Even planned out how my last day is going to be like.
But today was a good day. And I received some love from unexpected people and they really made me feel alive for the first time forever.
Because of that incident, I'm now having second thoughts and I'm panicking about having second thoughts because this has happened before (I swallowed some pills and I only had to wait 3 more hours for them to destroy my liver beyond return and SI kicked in and I was forced to contact emergency services) and surprise, surprise. Life didn't get better at all, in fact it got worse.

So now I'm wondering wether the same thing is happening or if I really should give life another chance.

Anyone else felt this way before? What did u decide?

 

[Read123456788]

I could only really say to ride it out until you know for sure once it's done it's done. Take your time if you can. I have felt like this before then tried to sit back and think realistically about the pros and cons of life and death and that was too much for me so I've stuck with ctb. I still get s little thought that thinks oh crap is this it but I know that it is meant to be this way no so can live with it ... or not even haha! X

 

[Dreamlesssleep]

I could only really say to ride it out until you know for sure once it's done it's done. Take your time if you can. I have felt like this before then tried to sit back and think realistically about the pros and cons of life and death and that was too much for me so I've stuck with ctb. I still get s little thought that thinks oh crap is this it but I know that it is meant to be this way no so can live with it ... or not even haha! X

Thank you for replying.
This really does help me so much

 

[pole]

give it a chance.

i wanted to kill myself this june. iv been facing the same outcome of just negativity and sadness over and over again. i dont think things are gonna get better either.

but i have this like part of me inside holding out hope, which i dont understand why. and thus, im giving life and school another chance again this year.

ride that wave of love. maybe things turn around for you now, and these unexpected people are a huge part of you're life to come. who knows?

wish you all the best.