Venting SI increasing

[Fadeawaaaay]

Every day that passes my situation deteriorates but my depression subsides… A year ago my life collapsed and I made a halfhearted attempt… Since then I've spent every single day pretty much laying on the couch doing nothing and the depression has gradually subsided… I even stopped taking antidepressants thinking I would mentally fall off a cliff but my brain chemistry has adjusted… It's really really hard to muster the energy and inspiration to end my life …

 

[Lauriso]

But do you have to now that you feel better?

 

[catflowers]

But do you have to now that you feel better?

yes it doesn't matter

 

[picklemick]

Relate to this one. My life is worse than ever. I let it deteriorate incredibly thinking I was just going to die. But I failed. And I'm actually feeling a bit better. But now I'm overwhelmed with the mess

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry that you are trapped in this situation. Suicide certainly does seem to require a lot of energy, I wish that it's easier to leave more than anything. I hope that in whatever happens, you find relief from what you are going through. Best wishes.

 

[Hope:-)]

I'm not sure why you are thinking of ending your life when you are feeling better? Do you mean you are only feeling better because you are laying on a couch and this depresses you? Just trying to understand.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

I'm not sure why you are thinking of ending your life when you are feeling better? Do you mean you are only feeling better because you are laying on a couch and this depresses you? Just trying to understand.

I think I'm feeling better because my brain chemistry has adjusted after my life collapsed and I stopped taking antidepressants… For months I was in a fog of blackness… But it's just as hopeless as ever… decades of stupid decisions coming into focus

 

[nico1420]

I think I'm feeling better because my brain chemistry has adjusted after my life collapsed and I stopped taking antidepressants… For months I was in a fog of blackness… But it's just as hopeless as ever… decades of stupid decisions coming into focus

Totally there myself...it's a check that i cant cover...

 

[Hope:-)]

My fear of physical pain is always there more than SI. Maybe that's a form of SI I don't know. But it's really getting me down. I'm sure some people relate

 

[Coffeebean77]

I have a terminology question. Where I am now, in a treatment center, SI refers to suicidal ideation. But on this forum, doesn't it mean "survival instinct"? I'm confused.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

I have a terminology question. Where I am now, in a treatment center, SI refers to suicidal ideation. But on this forum, doesn't it mean "survival instinct"? I'm confused.

I guess it's both

 

[BluesRunTheGame]

I even stopped taking antidepressants thinking I would mentally fall off a cliff but my brain chemistry has adjusted…

That's dedication. SI is a bitch.

 

[bloos]

I made an attempt last year that has left me with numerous chronic health issues. Now, I'm terrified of attempting again, surviving, and with even worse health consequences as a result

 

[veryhappyhuman]

I made an attempt last year that has left me with numerous chronic health issues. Now, I'm terrified of attempting again, surviving, and with even worse health consequences as a result

What was your failed attempt, if you do not mind sharing?

 

[bloos]

No worries! I drunk sodium hydroxide... was in a coma for two weeks, in hospital recovering for a year, and still have surgeries left to go. Also, I'm new to this community, was wondering how I post a question of my own?