Life_and_Death

Life_and_Death

Do what's best for you 🕯️ Sometimes I'm stressed
Jul 1, 2020
6,825
If I were to ctb my friend wants me to tell him. Which I have no problem with except.... What is it going to do to him? I'm basically the only person he has, he has other friends but I'm his best friend. He trusts me (and what he doesn't trust he knows anyway) and he knows he can talk to me about anything and I'll always be understanding and comforting (although as of lately I've kinda been feeling like he just puts up with me because he has to but I'm pushing that aside hoping it's just my disorders). I don't want to hurt him. It's bad enough he's already gone through it once. I'd be twice.

I just feel that maybe in this case ignorance is better. That he doesn't need to know. Of course last time I thought I knew what was best I fucked us up.
 
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Frauw

Frauw

Nothing lasts
Oct 31, 2020
167
I have told some of my loved ones, some of them were fine with it, some werent, but even the ones that were fine with it would still intervene if they knew it was happening. It is honestly up to you to perceive what kind of reaction he would have.
 
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WornOutLife

マット
Mar 22, 2020
7,164
I can relate.
Something similar is happening to me with my only friend left but I just can't tell him because I know he'll try to prevent me from ctb as much as he can.

Anyway, people will be hurt by us once we ctb no matter what.

It kinda sucks but I can't see any other option.
 
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HenryHobkins

Student
Nov 5, 2020
115
If you are 100% about to ctb then i think telling him before hand will just cause him needless panic.
 
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woknows

Experienced
Dec 12, 2020
264
It gives him a chance to say goodbye to you. I would not undervalue this point. Of course, it is risky too.
 
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Life_and_Death

Life_and_Death

Do what's best for you 🕯️ Sometimes I'm stressed
Jul 1, 2020
6,825
Stopping me aside. He knows my story and what not. I should have added that
 
T

Tired_Tired

Student
Nov 25, 2019
158
Honesty is the best policy. I doubt, but you need to release your emotions like friends, family, even drugs.
 
callofthevoid

callofthevoid

already gone
Jan 10, 2021
14
If he knows and you're sure he'll accept your choice then I say go for it and tell him. It's a good way for him to know that you appreciate your friendship with him, very much that you told him first before CTB. As to whether how he will react afterwards you will not know in the end anyway as you have left this world at that moment.
 
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self_destruct

self_destruct

kill me
Aug 30, 2020
2
I would never tell anyone when I plan to ctb. You always run that risk of them trying to "help" you.
 
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lostmyhope

Member
Dec 28, 2020
42
I would never tell anyone when I plan to ctb. You always run that risk of them trying to "help" you.
And, I wouldn't want my friends to even have that moral dilemma of "should I respect her wishes or should I try to save her?" Or feel any guilt over not calling an ambulance if they didn't see my message until I was already gone. I don't think it's fair to put another person through either of those things. Letting someone go seems straightforward to us on SS, so it's easy to forget that the sat majority of people do not think like us and will be absolutely traumatized with guilt and helplessness.
 
S

Symbiote

Global Mod
Oct 12, 2020
3,101
I had issues where if I were to tell my closest friend of my intentions, he would get panicky and depressed, so I had devised ways of letting him know that "hey, I'm going on a long road trip to find myself" so he wouldn't be so worried. It sucks having to lie to people so they wouldn't get bent out of shape at my death. Of course I would go on my long road trip but it's not finding myself, it would follow up with ending myself. No one in that town 500 miles away gonna know who I am.
 
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Life_and_Death

Life_and_Death

Do what's best for you 🕯️ Sometimes I'm stressed
Jul 1, 2020
6,825
I had issues where if I were to tell my closest friend of my intentions, he would get panicky and depressed, so I had devised ways of letting him know that "hey, I'm going on a long road trip to find myself" so he wouldn't be so worried. It sucks having to lie to people so they wouldn't get bent out of shape at my death. Of course I would go on my long road trip but it's not finding myself, it would follow up with ending myself. No one in that town 500 miles away gonna know who I am.
it was a bit ago now but if i remember right i basically told him that its going to happen sooner or later, i cant handle certain things, i dont have much of a choice. but it doesnt have to be today.
 

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