Should you live for others?

[Bruces]

I feel I'm ready for the end but I don't want to hurt family but I have no reason to live

 

[faust]

I lived for others too long, voluntarily or involuntarily. And realized too late. The price of living for others is your life. Living for others means you won't live how you want and won't die when you want. Life is much better when you live for yourself and death is your own responsibility.

 

[kane]

I think it depends on your moral values. If you think the combined pain that they'll experience after your loss would outweigh how much you think you'll suffer if you go on, and that's something you care about, then yes.

It's difficult though. I'm in the same boat of thinking I have no real reason to live, if it was just for me. But things don't seem bad enough yet to justify the devastation killing myself would cause to my parents. When I imagine the effect of them getting the news - it would destroy them. And I'm not desperate enough yet to be able to disregard that.

But at the same time, I'm still suffering, still miserable, with no real hope of things getting better in the future. So every day suicide is on my mind, and I have to remind myself why I'm not ending it.

 

[Lost in a Dream]

I am in the same situation. It's only because of others that I am still alive, but sometimes it doesn't seem like a good enough of a reason to continue living, unless you can find some way to make it beneficial for yourself as well. If these family members that you are concerned about are beneficial to have in your life and you like being with them, then maybe it won't be a bad idea to stick around for a while, as long as you spend as much time with them as possible. If they are toxic to be around, then I would say screw them. Family members that only want you around to benefit themselves are certainly not a good reason to stay in this world when you are ready to leave, so there is no sense in making yourself miserable for their happiness.

It really does make the decision to CTB much more difficult when you are worried about how it might affect your family, but taking care of yourself is the most important thing. Since you are having a hard time figuring out what to do, then it's likely that some of your family members are good people and you don't want to hurt them, which is understandable, but if you stay alive for them and continue to feel worse, then it's not worth it. I recommend leaving them a note to explain why you left (if that is what you end up doing) because it might soften the blow.

 

[Sinai Silence]

Its a decision you can only come to yourself. It sounds silly but I did a pros and cons list for myself; I asked myself questions like who would it affect? Will they be better or worse without me? Do I care what they think? Do they care for me at this current moment? What would happen if I didn't ctb? Could I ever find true happiness? Is it really what I want? What are the consequences if I don't ctb? Is the method reliable/quick/painless?

What is stronger your own suffering or your love for your family? How would you feel if one of your family members was in the same situation as you? Ultimately its your decision what you do, no matter what we are here to support you.

 

[Nomolos92]

My remaining family is the only reason I'm still here. I'm so tired of life and ready to go but due to experiencing a loss to suicide I know just how soul destroying it is

 

[alanitis]

I feel I'm ready for the end but I don't want to hurt family but I have no reason to live

This is what I'm currently trying to understand. Should one be so self centred that it doesn't matter to him/her what misery it would cause after you fulfil your desire or need to not exist anymore. Do we live on the borderline of our insecurities just so that the poeple that love us don't have to be sad?

 

[_Minsk]

one will always be hurt, either you or others.. if the pain is big enough, i would leave, knowing i have all tried to get better and nothing worked. if i had a friend who would want to ctb i would fully support his/her choice, i would feel bad if that person would suffer just to make me happy.. but also depends whether the pain is bearable, in this case i might stay..

 

[Bruces]

I could never imagined life to be so dull
I want to go out in a Big Bang I can't be bothered with some dull dreary existence

 

[Green Destiny]

The way I see it is if you feel happy living for other people then by all means do so. But if you're living for the sake of others and suffering immensely then I believe that that's not fair to you and should think of your own feelings before others.

 

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

If it wasn't for my family I would be already dead. I'm living for others.

 

[Brokenwithbpd]

I'm only living for my mom

 

[Huntfish34]

Living for my parents, brother and some others. Damnt, I hate this. =/

 

[cytokinestorm]

I'm just existing for my husband and two kids. One is autistic. I hate being trapped. Nobody knows how much pain I'm in. I hate being forced to carry on.

 

[Deleted member 17949]

Who cares, not my problem when I'm dead

 

[Random_guy2]

I don't want to hurt my family, that's the only reason which reduces my will to ctb.

 

[Bruces]

how can I get myself killed