Should we give our loved ones one last memory?

[rkachna]

Hey, I wonder. I plan to CTB on Thursday as my flatmate will be gone for 3 day, but my graduation ceremony is on Monday and my parents are planning to attend. Should I give them the last good memory or not? Would it matter? Would it hurt more if they could not go? I can go CTB with N later, but I would not have the chance to do it in the comfort of my own home, which I want instead of going to a forest or something.

 

[whyidon'tknow]

I've made a point to see my friends and family before I ctb. Imo it's better to leave them with some happy memories

 

[Weems]

Hey, I wonder. I plan to CTB on Thursday as my flatmate will be gone for 3 day, but my graduation ceremony is on Monday and my parents are planning to attend. Should I give them the last good memory or not? Would it matter? Would it hurt more if they could not go? I can go CTB with N later, but I would not have the chance to do it in the comfort of my own home, which I want instead of going to a forest or something.

College graduation?

 

[Iwantoutrightnow]

I saw my family last weekend because I wanted to see them one last time. I think it would be nice for your family to have that memory but you have to do what's right for you.

 

[oopswronglife]

I am leaving two. They work better in matched pairs.

 

[Scribble Fan]

I'm going to tell my younger brother how much he means to me. I love him and I need him to know.

 

[21Neberg]

I think you should attend your graduation with your parents. You deserve it, you've worked so hard for it. And it will make your parents super proud as well, if they aren't already.

 

[rkachna]

Yes, it is college graduation.

Thank you all for valuable input. I will see how I will be feeling on Thursday and try to bear my pain til the graduation.

 

[oopswronglife]

Yes, it is college graduation.

Thank you all for valuable input. I will see how I will be feeling on Thursday and try to bear my pain til the graduation.

I hope my little joke wasn't offensive. In my experience having lost people it doesn't matter in the end. Before or after a date, before or after some season. It's still a loss. If you cannot find a way to survive, which we should all fight for when possible, at least free yourself as much as possible of the unnecessarily heavier end that comes with trying to make it perfect for everyone. All that does it bind you up more and make things worse. Easier said than done I know. Much like the "trying to survive" part. But try your best. That's all anyone can ask of another.

 

[Tortured_empath]

I'm going to tell my younger brother how much he means to me. I love him and I need him to know.

How would you go about this without raising suspicion? I absolutely have to tell to my little brother the same before I leave

 

[Scribble Fan]

How would you go about this without raising suspicion? I absolutely have to tell to my little brother the same before I leave

I've just been telling him that I love him and that he is the best part of my life. I'm not sure how to avoid suspicion as I'm already pretty sentimental and this is almost normal for me, if not a bit over the op.

I've been considering bringing up some old memories and reminiscing about them with him, just to show that I care and remember our times together.

 

[Tortured_empath]

I've just been telling him that I love him and that he is the best part of my life. I'm not sure how to avoid suspicion as I'm already pretty sentimental and this is almost normal for me, if not a bit over the op.

I've been considering bringing up some old memories and reminiscing about them with him, just to show that I care and remember our times together.

That sounds like a great way to do it, sneaking in it. I will have to try that even though I'm not one to show much emotion.

Thank you for reminding me, @Scribble Fan. Young siblings have a very special place in one's heart, they deserve to be reminded of the unconditional love...

 

[Weems]

Yes, it is college graduation.

Thank you all for valuable input. I will see how I will be feeling on Thursday and try to bear my pain til the graduation.

Hate to do this to ya...kind of...but if you just finished up your last semester of college it would seem that:

1. you have your shit together &
2. you've recently been under a lot of stress (finals and such).

Maybe put ctb on the back burner? Not only are you young, you haven't even fucked up. Of course there's the 99.9% of your life I don't know about, but it seems you are well positioned to find happiness.

 

[dandan]

my mom's birthday and mine is this next 30th of June, and my brother's wife is making a party to reveal the sex of the baby she's expecting...
so it would be like triple party weekend? my moms and my birthday plus the expected nephew sex...
cool cool, i feel any happy memory aint enough but,,, at least one last birthday together

 

[not_a_robot]

It sounds like if you pass up the chance to ctb alone and in peace you may never get another one, nobody with families can ever get a minute to themselves.
Maybe leave a note saying you love them, if you do. There will always be "one more happy memory" they want, one day you wake up 45 married with a bunch of kids you never wanted because they kept needing one more happy memory. This is how other people keep us trapped in lives we never wanted. Their needy expectations, their emotions that we're supposed to be responsible for.
They are gonna be sad either way, so whatever feels easier for you is fine, IMO.
But I'm just some jerk on the internet.

 

[rkachna]

Hate to do this to ya...kind of...but if you just finished up your last semester of college it would seem that:

1. you have your shit together &
2. you've recently been under a lot of stress (finals and such).

Maybe put ctb on the back burner? Not only are you young, you haven't even fucked up. Of course there's the 99.9% of your life I don't know about, but it seems you are well positioned to find happiness.

Thank you for your reply, I do not mind getting another perspective even if it is not based on knowledge of my mental health.

I am 27, so not super young. I had my shit together enough to finish the degree but honestly the final exams did not stress me out at all. I simply did not care if i fail. And I have been miserable since I was 18. And now I am really just barely holding on.

 

[mold]

i would probably want to leave them with a happy memory, i'd rather them have happier memories than bad ones

 

[Dead beat dad]

Hey, I wonder. I plan to CTB on Thursday as my flatmate will be gone for 3 day, but my graduation ceremony is on Monday and my parents are planning to attend. Should I give them the last good memory or not? Would it matter? Would it hurt more if they could not go? I can go CTB with N later, but I would not have the chance to do it in the comfort of my own home, which I want instead of going to a forest or something.

No

 

[BlasianGuy]

I've also contemplated this and think a good memories is a nice gift to give a family before leaving. It may also help with your own peace of mind the day of. Hope the graduation went well and everything else.

 

[_milo]

I thought of this shortly before my first attempt. My mother always really enjoyed Christmas so I decided to stay around until it had passed so she could have one more with me there. However, during that time waiting I realized that me passing during or shortly after Christmas would cast a very dark shadow on the holiday for my mother. At least more than it would had I passed any other time, so I decided to attempt beforehand.

I've always wanted to tell her this while I'm still here as a sign to show that I did & do care about her but I'm not sure if I ever will tell her about it.

Maybe this story will help you decide what to do or not to do. But I just thought I'd share my experience.