Help Should I write letters for all my friends and family?

[LittleMoose]

Hello all, I'm brand new to the site and this is my first post! So I apologize in advance if I do something wrong!

Of course many of you know what it's like to feel emotional agony, which leads me to a question. Do you believe it's worth staying around longer to write out personal letters to your friends and family?

I know I'm going to write a letter to my mother, that I will definitely take the time to do to make sure I do it right. But there's about ten other people I've considered writing letters for (I have a large friend group). But to be honest, I really don't think they'd give a shit. I'm sure the initial shock, and possibly even a little guilt, will be sad for them. But it won't last long.

Now it's not like writing these letters would take me an extra week, it would probably take months. Because I know how I am and it would take forever for me to make sure they're all perfect. Maybe that sounds ridiculous, but it's how I am. If it's not right, I don't want to do it at all.

So, what do you guys think? Should I stick around and be in this pain longer so my loved ones have something personal from me? Or say 'fuck it', the likelihood of them really caring is slim to none?

 

[landslide2]

Hello and welcome. I do feel a note is something you can leave to help the people you think matter most to grieve and process. There are people I have known for many years who I don't feel i need, nor want to spend time writing a note for. There are a few i have known for not that long but hope to leave a small note for. We are all a bit different in terms of notes so hard to really give a binary answer. Starting to write can maybe help figure it out? It's emotionally draining for me, and i have my own personal rules (not edit/re-edit but write out all at once by hand for example, but that's me).

 

[tobias]

Heyy, welcome!! To be honest, I don't think people in my life deserve to have a letter. I wouldn't write anything for them. Everytime I think about my suicide I don't imagine myself writing a letter, just leaving a note with some contacts for anyone who finds my body let them know that I died since they were my friends, but I wouldn't write anything specifically. But this is up to you, it's the last contact the person will have with you so if you think it is something you should write a letter so go for it.

 

[dolemitedrums]

You probably know best if they will value the words or if the words will help them heal or understand. If you don't think someone will really give deep consideration to your words, you don't have to wear yourself then with rounds of writing and editing. Do it if there is someone who really will take something from the effort...but there aren't a lot of people like that. Otherwise, something fairly to the point but pleasant if possible should suffice.

 

[FuneralCry]

It's really up to the individual, only they know what is best after all, it's a personal decision, I don't believe that anyone should have to write letters, it's rather if they feel it's the right thing to do. But anyway best wishes.

 

[happynot]

Do what make sense to you more. I have written some but haven't done it yet as obvious

 

[emma99]

For me I plan on using an email service called proton mail.
as it allows for scheduled emails.

One email i have to send is a 12 page document detailing certain organisational failures I have had to bare over the last while. its a very detailed document, including names of people who could of helped prevent my CTB.

I'm not going to blame anyone for pushing me into this, but the failures iv been faced with, no one should ever have to face. and this is as much my way of setting the record straight, as well as just stopping this from happening to someone else

As for a letter, I haven't spoke to any of my family in a very long time.
But I will leave a card to say who my next of kin is, and it will have instructions to press play. Why press play? because my hand writing is messy and i don't want to be printing any CTB related letters off of a public printer. so i will be recording a short note on my phone. Just to briefly explain why iv CTB.

I witnessed the police cut down a suicide near where i live a few months ago which allowed me to study what the police and paramedics do when there is a suicide. (The police cordon off the scene and try to protect the public from seeing the body, the paramedics will then cover the body, place it on a stretcher and take it away in an ambulance). so personally for me. I want to make sure that the final recording gets into the police hands, I will need also need the police to find my body and not someone else, which i also have a plan for.

Then the other thing is i have one/two friends who i can also send scheduled emails to. I would rather they hear it from me and not my family. as I really don't want them to attend my funeral or even meet my family. I actually don't want a funeral, as i don't attend them. When my aunt died, i didn't show to the funeral. hugging and getting a kiss from her in the nursing home was good enough for me, and i wasn't really close to her family. I later visited the grave to say my bit.