Should I tell my mother I want to kill myself first?

[Steamm]

I feel bad I can't actually say goodbye to her but I also don't want to sound like an attention whore.

 

[aukguy]

Just a heart-felt goodbye the last time you see or speak to her should be sufficient. When you start to tell anyone about plans to end your life you should expect interventions.

 

[AnniesHideaway]

Never tell anyone in the real world what your intentions are.

 

[schopenh]

Highly recommend against it.
As desirable as it may be for closure, it is highly likely to invite disruption to your plans. In a better world where your rights aren't denied and you don't have to fear incarceration in a mental health facility or family members and friends jeapordising your plan then I would 100% support discussions with family members; but that's simply not reality.

 

[checkouttime]

I have told my mother. I am by no means trying to gain attention..its what i want (have tried to go using insulin). I mentioned it to so she knew i was leaving the house to her(i bought it from her) . my sister is a nurse and they are trying to get the doctor to see me.....so obviously trying to intervene. I totally get the not being able say goodbye properly though.i have written a note although its not the same!

 

[bigdog]

I tell it her all the time but she doesn't believe me. I mean if I am not answering long enough she will check me in my flat but if I will use SN in the evening nobody will intervene until next evening

 

[TAW122]

I don't recommend doing so if you don't want to risk intervention or her jeopardizing your plans to CTB. If you wanted to say a goodbye, it would be better to have a note on a delayed delivery (delayed emails, snail mail, etc.). This way, if you change your mind, failed, or things didn't go to plan at your planned exit, you can still retract.

 

[so tired or manic]

look into a text message or email you can delay a few days after you want to go. might be painful to get a message from the dead, but otherwise you risk intervention.

e: just saw the post above me says the same thing. sorry @thrw_a_way1221221

 

[Jumper Geo]

Not sure of your finances but can't you arrange to take her out for the day as a surprise treat when your CTB day is getting near and skate around the subject of death, you could say I am treating you as you never know, we may not be here tomorrow look at Covid-19, hundreds of thousands are dead in a short few months and everytime I switch on the news or read a newspaper someone is always killed ask her thoughts on the after life and tell her your thoughts, mention any young people who committed suicide see how she answers that question, get some fabulous photo's so she can Remember that special day with you.

Cheers

Geo

 

[Deltrus]

I told my mom once and she started crying uncontrollably and said we had to get on different anti depressants. Well now I'm still suffering for years and now I partly blame my mom for forcing me to live and suffer. It really sucks constantly thinking about how people are holding me back from doing it just because they can't understand how much I am suffering.

I hate hatred so much and I hate thinking about how she is holding me back and making me suffer, it feels like my heart is turning black, completely apathetic. I know it is because she loves and cares for me but to me it just shows how weak love and care are when you don't have proper empathy and think you know what is best for other people without respecting their choices and decisions.

By telling your parents you are most likely handing over your agency to someone who does not feel as you do and cannot feel as you do. They wont know the entire situation. The majority if humans value lives more than anything.

 

[Nymph]

Probably better if you leave a note I think

 

[muffin222]

I don't recommend it. You could be committed involuntarily into the psych ward

 

[MyChoiceToLeave]

I just told my mom that I was going to kill myself because there is no cure for what I have. It didn't go well and we just wound up destroying each other on the phone and e-mail. I think it's a tough thing for mothers. My mother is one of the main causes of why I'm so damaged beyond repair and want to kill myself. Do you think of your mother in a similar way?

 

[Hybrid]

Never tell anyone in the real world what your intentions are.

This. Telling anyone is just praying for attention. They will just give you fake affection, just for the sake of feeling pity. Also, will make your suicide have highter % of being interrupted for being found and becoming a giant paperweight for the rest of your pathetic life.

 

[Sinai Silence]

It will send red flags straight away if you do that. If she clicks on to your intentions she will most likely make it her mission to stop you from doing it.

I told my mum that our dog will most likely have to be put down soon and she lost her sh*t with me. Idk what she would do if I was to tell her I was planning to ctb.
I think the best way you can say goodbye is with a note. Best of luck with whatever you decide to do.

 

[InaccessibleHour]

Like others have said, I wouldn't recommend it. I absolutely wouldn't be able to do it with my mom as she is staunchly pro-life regarding the matter and holds the opinion that "no one wants to actually kill themselves, all suicides are mere pleas for help" and "if you kill yourself you're going to hell" (she isn't even Christian but did have a very religious mother and upbringing and didn't really like it that much, she believes a few things in the Bible that aligns with her beliefs such as that but mostly just finds a whole bunch of contradictions and such). I'd recommend trying to have general conversations about suicide not involving you first to get her stance on it, and then tell her if she seems pro-choice. That would still be a risky move though, as she may tell others who are likely pro-life and then some intervention is likely.
Safest bet to say goodbye with a note, and maybe a heartfelt goodbye the last time you plan to speak to her.

 

[C_F]

I've told my mom about my suicidal ideation - because I wanted help. Her reply, "Go ahead, become another statistic". Ironically, this response and similar others she's given me is what has pushed me over the edge to decide to CTB.

Maybe leave a heartfelt note to your mother? Could even leave a USB thumb drive along with the note with a video of yourself saying goodbye.

 

[Deleted member 17949]

I wish I could but my parents could never accept such a statement from me. I am sorry for the lack of closure ngl, but there's not much I can do.