Should I tell my family?

[Linka]

I've been watching a lot of videos where family members say "we never saw any problems and we want to know why but we'll never get an answer". This got me thinking that it might be best to tell my parents and sister that I want to die and hopefully we can have a conversation and I can explain it to them. That way they don't get stuck with those "why" questions that can consume them forever.

Am I being stupid for thinking this? I know there's the risk of them calling the police but I'm not suicidal at the moment so I'd be let go pretty easily if that did happen. I'm just thinking that at least it won't be a surprise.

On the other hand, knowing that I want to die might put them through too much stress. They'll be stressed before I die and devastated after I die. By not telling them, I can at least spare them the stress of knowing.

Idk. What do you guys think?

P.S. I do have a suicide note but it's short and sweet. All it say is the usual "I'm sorry" and I quickly explain that my lack of motivation to do anything with my life is the reason. I don't plan on making it longer or going into more detail.

 

[kekcal24]

That's up to you. As for thinking you'd get let go pretty easily, if you're in the U.S, not sure that'd happen. The term "danger to oneself or others" has lost all meaning in the psych industry, seems like anyone can get sectioned for however long simply for the thoughtcrime of not wanting to exist. If you see them trying to get you locked up in a psych ward and "rehabilitated" then I wouldn't tell them, but of course that's for you to decide. Good luck with whatever you choose to do.

 

[Deleted member 24645]

Hi Linka, I think you should talk to them. They may even surprise you with the support they offer you. You sound quite young, yet you write beautifully with perfect grammar. I'm guessing you are bright but overthink things to the point of extreme anxiety. It would be a shame for your family not to get the chance to help you. I'm sure they love you very much. Good luck and big hugs ❤

 

[Spitfire]

If you do not put it in text or writing (evidence) then the police will have to leave you alone if you play your cards right with them, if they ever showed up.

I would though. I did and I have, and it is much better this way for me. It all worked out, but I am soo lucky to have the older sister I have! She can actually laugh about it for me, with me, when we talk about it, and I leave it an open conversation with her and her family.

I knew.. she was shocked at first a few years ago when I attempted to kill myself.

I have a younger sister whom I know will be negatively affected in a bad way, it is soo sad to me. She knows too, but her and I do not talk much to each other.

My Dad is the only other family and he knows too, but not in the same way as my older sister. He would not understand. As a matter of fact I have not spoken to him in years, so whatever to him and I do not care to tell him anything about me or my life anymore, or if I will end it and when, fuck.

EDITED: I have other family; a few nieces and nephews, and a little girl.. she's going on 15 years old whom I Fathered and another a nephew who is about to be 11 years old whom I also Fathered for most of his life. I miss them as part of my every day life, but was not meant to be, why, IDK? These two the girl and nephew bothers me, and not sure what to think about it? The girl knows through her Mother (my ex) though, and she is the best!

 

[BluesRunTheGame]

For me I get drunk and post suicidal stuff on Facebook so no one would be surprised.

 

[RoseneHuron]

I think I'll be doing something akin to what the author of How To Hang Yourself (posted elsewhere on this forum) describes under the heading 'Pre-Suicide Considerations':

"Personal notes, letters, and thought documentation (aka the "thought packet"); one of
the greatest pains to one's loved ones are the collective mysteries of cause, and what
one was going /has gone through. Please make a record of your thoughts for a few days
and list causes, intents, missed goals, and general daily thoughts. Especially valuable is
a long recollection of memories into life events that has lead to the choice of suicide. The
author has written a 50k word record of thoughts, experiences, etc, and keeps this in an
inexpensive paper folder, clearly labeled, and which will be placed in plain sight for
before death. This way there will be the curtailing presumed blame. No one without
blame will presume blame or missed chances."

 

[1tsT1m3]

I've been watching a lot of videos where family members say "we never saw any problems and we want to know why but we'll never get an answer". This got me thinking that it might be best to tell my parents and sister that I want to die and hopefully we can have a conversation and I can explain it to them. That way they don't get stuck with those "why" questions that can consume them forever.

Am I being stupid for thinking this? I know there's the risk of them calling the police but I'm not suicidal at the moment so I'd be let go pretty easily if that did happen. I'm just thinking that at least it won't be a surprise.

On the other hand, knowing that I want to die might put them through too much stress. They'll be stressed before I die and devastated after I die. By not telling them, I can at least spare them the stress of knowing.

Idk. What do you guys think?

P.S. I do have a suicide note but it's short and sweet. All it say is the usual "I'm sorry" and I quickly explain that my lack of motivation to do anything with my life is the reason. I don't plan on making it longer or going into more detail.

I've talked to the ones most important to me: my kids and very few others. I explained to them the reason and answered all questions. But my people are open minded about listening, don't judge nor condemn. It has actually helped reduce the thoughts.

I'm not advising to do this unless you're sure the one(s) you tell will try to understand and be open minded to try to understand. May they also explain to you why they want you here so well that you FEEL it and it makes you reconsider as it did me.