Help should i seek hospitalization?

[saintbunny]

i have borderline personality disorder, and just recently i experienced a med switch that triggered very extreme episodes for me. i'm coming back from it slowly but surely, but still find myself struggling to be a person. i not only wear myself out, but members of my family are stressed out of their minds trying to keep up with my constant stress and anxiety attacks. i've had knives and meds confiscated, i've woken people up in the middle of the night with my panic, i feel like i can't do anything alone anymore.
so this begs the question: should i seek inpatient hospitalization? what have some of your experiences been, and would i benefit from seeking that kind of help? i'm completely at a loss here and have never been hospitalized before (i know, unusual for someone with bpd) so i'm scared to make that kind of step. any help or advice would be very much appreciated

 

[puella]

I wish I had good advice for this. I'm sorry for how hard this has been for you. Take care, and good luck.

 

[Geist]

I've been forcefully admitted to a psychward once, I don't know if that's necessarily comparable. Anyway, since it wasn't voluntary, I absolutely hated it there at first and just stayed in my room all day. After a while, I went out more and made some friends, which made it a lot more bearable. Looking back on it now, it really wasn't that bad. It might even would've helped, had it been my own decision to go there. You'll usually have frequent talks with psychologists, and they also always had some activity / recreational events going on, like going to a swimming pool or to a theater (that's where I watched Avatar the first time lol). That is only if you behave good though. If you start acting out, or get violent, they'll lock you up in solitary confinement, with the padded walls and everything. Depending on how bad you act out, they might even drug you to calm you down.

The most important question you should ask yourself is: Am I a danger to myself or others? If the answer is yes to either of those, then it would definitely be worth thinking about admitting yourself. If you go voluntarily, you also get more freedoms. I was in a locked ward, for example. Going out unadvised was a privilige you had to earn with good behaviour, and you usually only got 1 hour. In the open wards, you can pretty much come and go as you wish, as long as you're not skipping out on appointments.

 

[Anonymoususer1234]

i have borderline personality disorder, and just recently i experienced a med switch that triggered very extreme episodes for me. i'm coming back from it slowly but surely, but still find myself struggling to be a person. i not only wear myself out, but members of my family are stressed out of their minds trying to keep up with my constant stress and anxiety attacks. i've had knives and meds confiscated, i've woken people up in the middle of the night with my panic, i feel like i can't do anything alone anymore.
so this begs the question: should i seek inpatient hospitalization? what have some of your experiences been, and would i benefit from seeking that kind of help? i'm completely at a loss here and have never been hospitalized before (i know, unusual for someone with bpd) so i'm scared to make that kind of step. any help or advice would be very much appreciated

I've never been hospitalized before but from what I've heard being admitted voluntarily is much better than being admitted involuntarily. If you feel like you'll likely end up in the hospital regardless it's best for it to be on your own terms. That said you might also want to weigh your other options, if there are any. It's not an easy choice to make and it sucks that you're going through this. I wish you luck.

 

[ArteriesBindEveryon]

I've never been hospitalized before but from what I've heard being admitted voluntarily is much better than being admitted involuntarily. If you feel like you'll likely end up in the hospital regardless it's best for it to be on your own terms. That said you might also want to weigh your other options, if there are any. It's not an easy choice to make and it sucks that you're going through this. I wish you luck.

I have been hospitalized. In my case it was involuntary, but almost everyone else was there voluntarily and was allowed to leave when they wanted. If you think you're going to end up there anyway, it might as well be on your own terms so you can leave if necessary.
Edit: Forgot to clarify, hospitalization isn't great for long-term recovery. It's mainly there if you need to get away for a while. Psychologists only a couple days a week, and when they do, often they don't do more than prescribe something and hope it works. For me I got on a medication that I probably didn't need but am now stuck taking. If you're not in immediate danger and want to formulate a plan for recovery, a hospital visit isn't going to fix things overnight. That being said, it could give you an opportunity to talk to a professional if you don't have any other options too. And if life is too hard and you want to get away for just a while, it can be helpful if you choose to go there yourself. Most people there aren't your stereotypical deranged mental patients, so if you choose to be there it can be helpful. Sadly, my hospitalization was forced upon me, so I came out worse than I went in thanks to the pressure of having my freedom revoked. So make a choice before someone else makes it for you.

 

[ilied]

I was hospitalised years ago and it was involuntary so at first i was very displeased with the whole situation and was ready to hate it however as it turned out our i quote enjoyed it and would recommend it especially if your feeling stuck, lonely or trapped it's a good way to force yourself to let go and deal with some things. wether it will help you or not I can't be sure because not kuch changed for me except I learnt that something was fucked in me but this was no different from the people around me and after that experience I've been able to be a sociable person and have found what i value in this world. pls note i was in a private institutions so public wards and hospitals might not be as pleasant.

 

[hopelessgirl]

I've been hospitalized 3 times voluntarily and it was a good experience for me. By the end of it I didn't want to leave because I felt safe and calm there towards the end. When I made the decision to go there it was always because I felt like I would loose it if I didn't. It's a great place to get support and structure back into your life if that's what you need <3

 

[WhyBother?]

i have borderline personality disorder, and just recently i experienced a med switch that triggered very extreme episodes for me. i'm coming back from it slowly but surely, but still find myself struggling to be a person. i not only wear myself out, but members of my family are stressed out of their minds trying to keep up with my constant stress and anxiety attacks. i've had knives and meds confiscated, i've woken people up in the middle of the night with my panic, i feel like i can't do anything alone anymore.
so this begs the question: should i seek inpatient hospitalization? what have some of your experiences been, and would i benefit from seeking that kind of help? i'm completely at a loss here and have never been hospitalized before (i know, unusual for someone with bpd) so i'm scared to make that kind of step. any help or advice would be very much appreciated

best I can say is, if you think you need help, you should get some. I'm not sure what the hospitals are like where you live, but the one I went to helped me recover from wanting to ctb, and they made sure to respect my wishes (wanting to spend some time alone, wanting someone to just sit with me. etc.) so, if you think you might need help, you should try and seek it. however, this is completely your choice. I'm just giving some (hopefully) helpful advice, and I hope you get better eventually. <3

 

[LetMeBeSad]

I went to the hospital last year voluntarily. It was actually a decent experience. They took care of me and gave me what I needed at the time. But, I still felt infantalized. I was still treated as if I was not of sound mind.

They didn't understand that I had been suicidal pretty much my whole life. I would tell them things that happened to me and they would get this look on their face that was somewhere confusion and frustration. They gave me meds that made me manic and they equated that to stable. Within a month of being released I was back to being miserable and I could see it coming. It was like every other drug I've tried. Great at first but, a pain in the ass in the long run.

Long story short, it was definitely better than some of the horror stories I've seen here but, it didn't solve anything. It was nice that I got to select the hospital I went to though instead of being escorted wherever I was told to go.