Should I message my ex-friends?

[aquasaltstripes]

This is kinda a dumb question that ultimately only I can answer, but as the title says, I've been thinking about scheduling some messages to a couple of my ex-friends — that is, in the case I really do go through with it. No emails have been sent or drafted except in my imagination.

Now, I'm not going to send them hate letters blaming them for however our respective relationships ended — no, definitely not. I was just thinking about giving them closure: clearing things up, any stupid unresolved grudges, apologizing for hurtful things I did, assuring them none of this is their fault but purely my decision, a choice I'm making after years of indescribable war with and against myself. Keeping it modest, cutting out self-pity, etc. Because I know that, personally, if an ex-friend of mine killed themselves I would want this kind of closure too.

Maybe a message like this will make them reconsider their behavior and life and push them to make the most of the time that's left and cherish their loved ones, etc. (although of course let me clarify that that isn't the main reason I'm hypothetically sending these to begin with).

Or… maybe it will just make them sad and depressed. I dunno. The kinda sad/pathetic thing about all the relationships in my life is that I never get to know the other person. They always just leave, ghost: we always grow apart before any substantial character development happens, so to speak. Not trying to be self-pitying or anything, that's just the truth of the data :<

So what do you think of this? Ever plan or are planning to message old acquaintances for whatever reason before you CTB?

Love y'all and hope whatever shit you're going through ends soon

 

[LostInNowhere]

Imho your reasoning makes sense, you don't hate them so you are not going to send themhate letters (good), if you think it's a good closure it's definitely ok, I don't see how you could damage your ex-friends. Sure, reading someone' s final message can be tough, but as you describe your relationship it won't be a life-altering shock...

 

[Cheesecake]

i say you write them and schedule them to send, if u do it then the outcome of their feelings is their decision

 

[Tatenokai]

My friend who killed herself recently and is part of the reason why I'm here sent me a message before each of her suicide attempts (including the last one). It shocked me at first (each time) but in the end I'm happy that she did that for me, it helps give me closure that she left with good thoughts of me in the end and let me know that I couldn't have changed anything. I would've had so many questions had she not messaged me, and it would've made me even more depressed than it did.