Help Should I go back to work?

[ForgottenAgain]

I've been off sick for 2 months now because of suicidal ideation, depression and hallucinations. I've never taken such high dosage of anti psychotics.

For 2 weeks I didn't get hallucinations but a couple of days ago I had another one. Next week I'm meant to go to work unless this week the GP gives me another fit note. I'm nervous about going back to work, I know I'm not okay but am I bad enough to justify not working?

I don't know what to do with my life...

 

[ArteriesBindEveryon]

I've been off sick for 2 months now because of suicidal ideation, depression and hallucinations. I've never taken such high dosage of anti psychotics.

For 2 weeks I didn't get hallucinations but a couple of days ago I had another one. Next week I'm meant to go to work unless this week the GP gives me another fit note. I'm nervous about going back to work, I know I'm not okay but am I bad enough to justify not working?

I don't know what to do with my life...

How severe was the hallucination? If it's just an "I need to sit down for a minute" kind of thing, you should be okay. If it makes you freak out, it's probably not safe. I'm just some person on the Internet though, I don't know your situation well enough to give adequate advice.

 

[ForgottenAgain]

How severe was the hallucination? If it's just an "I need to sit down for a minute" kind of thing, you should be okay. If it makes you freak out, it's probably not safe. I'm just some person on the Internet though, I don't know your situation well enough to give adequate advice.

It usually comes hand in hand with a panic attack. I feel terror and I say things that don't make sense to other people like: the phone can read my mind, the drawers are evil, etc.

The last one wasn't as horrible as my other ones though I still felt terror and said things that don't make sense. I think I feel it wasn't as bad because, even though I felt someone was hurting my eyes telepathically, I felt some objects around me were on my side, instead of the usual of feeling they are evil.

 

[ArteriesBindEveryon]

It usually comes hand in hand with a panic attack. I feel terror and I say things that don't make sense to other people like: the phone can read my mind, the drawers are evil, etc.

The last one wasn't as horrible as my other ones though I still felt terror and said things that don't make sense. I think I feel it wasn't as bad because, even though I felt someone was hurting my eyes telepathically, I felt some objects around me were on my side, instead of the usual of feeling they are evil.

Saying stuff out loud complicates things. If you work with customers a lot, you may want to consider postponing your return to work until you're more adjusted to your medication.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

It doesn't sound like u r fit for work but I'm not your GP / therapist. It's totally OK to stay away from work when you are sick / not being able to work. What causes your MH issues?

 

[Kit1]

This all depends on your job role, hownunderstanding your employer is and is work actually good for you during these times.

I have complex PTSD and have been plaqued with flashbacks and suicidal ideation (and from time to time, suicide attempts). At one point, my doctor wanted me to take medical leave but I argued against this as the job keeps me grounded. I spoke with my employer (who I have been with for well over 20 years), asked for easonable adjustments (working from home permanently being the main one) and it did take a lot of struggling - but my employer or line manager and HR mainly got it (though thsi was a stressful period). I also live in the UK and we have strong disability discrimination policies and I literally had to sum up all those to help me. And after my children, it is my job that keeps me alive. I work when the children are at school and no matter what happens, I will log on and work which keeps me grounded..,

You have to consider what is best for you - in context of your job role, employer level if understanding and support, level of protection that will be offered to you by the law of the land. Are you able to request a occupation health service appointment through work?

Happy to chat if you feel that might be helpful - especially of you live in the UK as I had to learn about all the legislation etc for myself..,

Also you might consider part time working or other reasonable adjustments.., How do you think your health will progress if you worked and if you had some time off?

 

[ForgottenAgain]

It doesn't sound like u r fit for work but I'm not your GP / therapist. It's totally OK to stay away from work when you are sick / not being able to work. What causes your MH issues?

I think the cause is me having Borderline PD and constantly feeling this emptiness, loneliness and sadness. I am a person with a lot of career success but it doesn't fulfill me even though it's my dream job. I've felt suicidal on and off throughout my life and just 1 month or 2 ago I was very suicidal, it's when I started lurking in here and then joined. Lost my mother as a child, then later on my grandma and my cat, all the people that mattered. My father doesn't care about me, it's a lot of things. I just can't be happy.

This all depends on your job role, hownunderstanding your employer is and is work actually good for you during these times.

I have complex PTSD and have been plaqued with flashbacks and suicidal ideation (and from time to time, suicide attempts). At one point, my doctor wanted me to take medical leave but I argued against this as the job keeps me grounded. I spoke with my employer (who I have been with for well over 20 years), asked for easonable adjustments (working from home permanently being the main one) and it did take a lot of struggling - but my employer or line manager and HR mainly got it (though thsi was a stressful period). I also live in the UK and we have strong disability discrimination policies and I literally had to sum up all those to help me. And after my children, it is my job that keeps me alive. I work when the children are at school and no matter what happens, I will log on and work which keeps me grounded..,

You have to consider what is best for you - in context of your job role, employer level if understanding and support, level of protection that will be offered to you by the law of the land. Are you able to request a occupation health service appointment through work?

Happy to chat if you feel that might be helpful - especially of you live in the UK as I had to learn about all the legislation etc for myself..,

Also you might consider part time working or other reasonable adjustments.., How do you think your health will progress if you worked and if you had some time off?

Work used to be like that for me some years ago but not anymore. I work as a programmer in a quite job company, they already did the occupational health assessment which, at the time, was for me to not work and have a phased return to work when I came back. HR also started the process for income protection so I can still get paid my full salary after 3 months of being off. I have been receiving full pay all this time too which I appreciate a lot.

HR and my manager have been great to me, they know I have a strong work ethics and I'm only off when I need to. I don't feel ready to be back, today I had another psychotic episode, this time while coding, so that I think solidified it for me...

I will have an appointment with my GP this Thursday so I will mention all the things. I just wish I had a psychiatrist seeing me...but the people from the psych hospital didn't refer me because I have a private psychologist. They said I would get refused. I was going to the psych hospital 3 times a week, being seen by the crisis team.