I personally have 3 cats myself, my eldest one aged 5 i got during covid due to feeling lonely during the lockdowns as a stray, and my other 2 as kittens from a friend.
Whenever I get super dark, or begin to feel low, I think my cats pick up on that can come and sit on my lap reminding me what it feels like to just, be okay, its weird to explain, cats being the affectionate creatures they are with head bumps and laying with you and such, it often helps me feel in a better place, ill sometimes cuddle one of my cats and cry just cos I appreciate her so much.
As others have pointed out though it's ofc a reasonability to own a cat and if you do plan to CTB within a month or, id say 3, id think about it first before you felt you were in the correct head space, however if owning a cat would improve your mood tenfold, as i find looking after something or someone else helps how I feel within myself, id go for it, strays/adoption if you can, if you can give yourself another chance and keep going and not CTB, give something else that similarly fresh start =)
Im sorry you lost your first cat two years ago, i dread to think of saying good bye to any of mine, and I think of them dearly almost like people, when I feel unstable, stay safe, nd I hope whatever decision you make brings you the peace you deserve
