Should I cut out my tongue with my razor?

[ForsakenDial]

My razor is the only thing that doesn't hate me. It doesn't berate or insult me, it is an inanimate object that doesn't have the capacity to feel or express anything. It is the only thing that is with me. Physically it hurts me but the pain is lesser compared to emotional pain and trauma I experience nearly every moment. The memories and flashbacks, being haunted by mirrors on the walls, my razor has been the only comfort I know I can always retreat to.

Everyone hates me. How I look, how I sound. How I exist. But, if can fix the first two maybe people won't hate me as much. I will have something beyond my razor, I would no longer need to be reliant on inanimate objects as the only thing that could withstand my presence. It will not make the memories and trauma go away, but it might anymore in the future. No one can hate me on how I sound and what I say if I can't speak at all. Should I do it?

 

[Pentobarbital_Plz]

No, darling.

 

[Suicidebydeath]

No, sounds bad. You could try making online friends without a mic first.

 

[ForsakenDial]

No, sounds bad. You could try making online friends without a mic first.

Everyone I meet ends up bullying and mocking me, even when I don't have a mic.

 

[Capsaicin78]

No, you're gonna regret it for the rest of your life. I can guarantee you that 100%

 

[FuneralCry]

I think that doing such a thing would just cause more suffering and damage.

 

[ForsakenDial]

I will take the advice and will not do it.

 

[KITTY_WANTS_OUT]

I understand this need. It is also a very bold and public act of defiance. Something that you feel is within your control. The practicality of the situation is that blood loss would be immense. And you would not only loss the ability to speak but to eat, drink etc. The pain of it will render you unconscious, more the risk of bleeding out. Which would make your point of standing up for yourself by the violent display pointless. Because then all they would feel for you would be pity. And of all that we want for ourselves, regardless of the demons we have, pity is not high on anyones list. You could try a metaphorical tongue removal, stop speaking. If that is your choice. It's not permanent. And is still very loud in its protest. As for how you look... Stop reacting, even to your own thoughts.. A momentarily lull in the storm can be enough for us to see things with new perspective.. Nothing is forever. Everything ends. Sadly, the good times, but thankfully the bad times too. Weather the storm. Don't let them judge your actions as reckless or selfish, or "crazy". Wait. Wait patiently. For death for should have purpose. Especially when it is our own that we seek, by our own hand.


We cannot see you. We cannot hear you. There is no judgement here. Speak your truth here. We will hear. We will listen. To your words. Not your voice.

Much love.

 

[ForsakenDial]

I understand this need. It is also a very bold and public act of defiance. Something that you feel is within your control. The practicality of the situation is that blood loss would be immense. And you would not only loss the ability to speak but to eat, drink etc. The pain of it will render you unconscious, more the risk of bleeding out. Which would make your point of standing up for yourself by the violent display pointless. Because then all they would feel for you would be pity. And of all that we want for ourselves, regardless of the demons we have, pity is not high on anyones list. You could try a metaphorical tongue removal, stop speaking. If that is your choice. It's not permanent. And is still very loud in its protest. As for how you look... Stop reacting, even to your own thoughts.. A momentarily lull in the storm can be enough for us to see things with new perspective.. Nothing is forever. Everything ends. Sadly, the good times, but thankfully the bad times too. Weather the storm. Don't let them judge your actions as reckless or selfish, or "crazy". Wait. Wait patiently. For death for should have purpose. Especially when it is our own that we seek, by our own hand.


We cannot see you. We cannot hear you. There is no judgement here. Speak your truth here. We will hear. We will listen. To your words. Not your voice.

Much love.

Your words brought me to tears, I feel so happy yet sad at the same time. Thank you for your words, thank you so much.

 

[Suicidebydeath]

Everyone I meet ends up bullying and mocking me, even when I don't have a mic.

Try and avoid toxic people, I don't think most people are toxic, just the ones that are make everything worse.

 

[theboy]

Bad idea

 

[Dead Meat]

Please don't do that

 

[Heartaches]

Not worth imo. The cons outweigh the pros. The thing about people: they will hate/judge you for literally *any* reason. Even if you change how you look or lose your ability to speak, people will still find a way to be assholes. It doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you, they just want you to feel that way for their own personal gain, to feel they have some sort of power over others.

It's difficult to not listen or take what others say about us, we are social creatures after all. But, while I don't know you, I feel you have qualities that some will appreciate. Maybe not your inmediate circle of relationships or the environments you concur, but I'm sure someone else will. Appearances are not everything, even if our society is heavily image-focused. One can find community based on other factors.

Remember that you deserve respect and love as any other human being, you did not ask for the hate you've gotten. I wish you the best, take care

 

[Forever Sleep]

Please don't do it. I'm sorry you are in so much pain and distress to make you feel like it would help. I agree with other people- avoid places and people that make you feel like this. I hope you can find comfort and support here.

 

[toomuchtimetodie]

I don't believe you would benefit. I don't know if you are a good hearted person but if one does that they would be the ultimate hater of oneself. We live in a world where scumbag bully evil police informants get free passes to rape main and even murder and get PAID ... They don't get their tongue cut out. Because nobody in this shit world has any integrity anymore. All the good people died.