Help Should I cut off ties before CTBing ?

[epic]

The closer people are to the CTBed person the greater their emotional trauma is going to be, so it makes sense to push people away as far as possible to reduce their trauma and that's what I have done for many years but It has left me somewhat lonely and miserable .

I have friends I can reconnect with and I have not dated for a long time . Both of which I am considering . However I am considering CTBing in a years time and I don't want to leave a scar in their head.

What do you guys think I should do ?
I bet you guys must have also faced this dilemma. How do you guys deal with this ?

PS: Please give a true and honest opinion whether it's feel good or not.

 

[Sulyya]

I think about doing this. I don't have a ctb plan and generally don't expect I will even do it, but it's on my mind every day. I tell myself that I want to move away from everything/everyone to get a new start but I do wonder if part of the reason in the backend of my brain is because I want them to get used to not having me around.

 

[aubrey!]

i'm a push away kind of person myself. the closest friends will respect your wishes the least typically. you should be allowed that option of peace.

 

[ngmi]

The closer people are to the CTBed person the greater their emotional trauma is going to be, so it makes sense to push people away as far as possible to reduce their trauma and that's what I have done for many years but It has left me somewhat lonely and miserable .

I have friends I can reconnect with and I have not dated for a long time . Both of which I am considering . However I am considering CTBing in a years time and I don't want to leave a scar in their head.

What do you guys think I should do ?
I bet you guys must have also faced this dilemma. How do you guys deal with this ?

PS: Please give a true and honest opinion whether it's feel good or not.

A year is a long time, a lot can happen by then. Maybe you'll change your mind. Maybe you'll do something else to alienate them. Maybe they'll move away for work/family/etc and lose contact again.
From my experience, it's much easier to lose friends than it is to make them. And you might find yourself a lot happier if you do have some close friends. Maybe you'll even change your mind about wanting to CTB.
But if you do find that your time has come, it would be easy to cut contact again. Maybe make something up about how you have to move away for a new job or whatever. There's no trauma if they don't find out what happened to you.

 

[epic]

i'm a push away kind of person myself. the closest friends will respect your wishes the least typically. you should be allowed that option of peace.

I think you misunderstood my post. I don't want to be left so alone .

I think about doing this. I don't have a ctb plan and generally don't expect I will even do it, but it's on my mind every day. I tell myself that I want to move away from everything/everyone to get a new start but I do wonder if part of the reason in the backend of my brain is because I want them to get used to not having me around.

I know how this feels

A year is a long time, a lot can happen by then.

Yeah maybe I can cut off ties when it gets closer to the date. Have you thought about how many months out that appropriate time would be ?

 

[aubrey!]

I think you misunderstood my post. I don't want to be left so alone .

Apologies - I was sleepy and read past the point.

Should you reconnect is the question.

It could help you out, but you will absolutely scar them if you can't push them away before CTB. Or you will continue forcing yourself stuck in a life full of suffering.

If you're confident you can push them away again, I suppose it could be worth a shot.

 

[Ki_Nam]

Yeah. It's for the best. Don't make the same mistake I did by telling people that you are going to ctb.

 

[FuneralCry]

I don't really think that it's a good idea to reconnect with those people, it's best to just let them carry on with their own existence.

 

[epic]

I don't really think that it's a good idea to reconnect with those people, it's best to just let them carry on with their own existence.

You are one person who we can always rely on being a straight shooter .

 

[tomene]

The closer people are to the CTBed person the greater their emotional trauma is going to be, so it makes sense to push people away as far as possible to reduce their trauma and that's what I have done for many years but It has left me somewhat lonely and miserable .

I have friends I can reconnect with and I have not dated for a long time . Both of which I am considering . However I am considering CTBing in a years time and I don't want to leave a scar in their head.

What do you guys think I should do ?
I bet you guys must have also faced this dilemma. How do you guys deal with this ?

PS: Please give a true and honest opinion whether it's feel good or not.

If you have made your decision it's a good idea imo but if not... You don't seem to be decided so I don't think you should do it for the moment.

 

[net]

I'm gonna be real with you: I truly don't give a shit.
My family left me to rot, and I ain't got nobody close like that. I'll just leave a note to my mother hoping to max out on her guilt. She got a big part in this.
I'll set up a bot, probably. It will send all my game login info to my ds server (after the deed is done). After that my friends can choose what to do with those. Bit dramatic, kinda funny, but it's true.

All this is hypothetical, but 100% what I'm gonna do if I ever manage to go through with it. Still need to figure that shit out.

 

[epic]

I'm gonna be real with you: I truly don't give a shit.
My family left me to rot, and I ain't got nobody close like that. I'll just leave a note to my mother hoping to max out on her guilt. She got a big part in this.

Damn man. Sorry you feel this way.

 

[𖣴 nadia 𖣴]

I don't really have an answer tbh, I've been worrying about this too. A few months back I needed to talk to someone trustworthy that I knew irl so I reconnected with an ex. Chatting and having fun with him every day has helped me get through a shitty few months of sexual abuse, domestic abuse, gaslighting about CSA, cheating, threats of homelessness etc etc.

But last week I found out that I might get enough time alone to ctb soonish, but I won't know for sure until closer to the day. So I'm in a similar boat, idk if I should isolate, it's difficult because he won't let me push him away easily and idek if I'll definitely have a chance to go through with it so soon.

 

[net]

Damn man. Sorry you feel this way.

it is what it is

 

[Emmadner]

I did, it really sucks if you don't end up CTBing...

 

[epic]

I did, it really sucks if you don't end up CTBing...

I am on the same boat.

 

[Gonnerr]

I think it's better to be alone the last month because people will feel guilt, they will say to themselves , i was so close to him or her the last days and didn't saw it coming.

 

[JudasIscariot]

I wouldn't recommend it, personally. If you live after your attempt or don't attempt, you will be left in an even worse state than before, I'd assume. Plus, it is possible those closest to you would feel even more guilt if they had minimal contact with you before your death, they would probably blame themselves. Just some stuff to consider.

 

[Sluggish_Slump]

That's what I did before a failed attempt in the past and now I'm left alone , but I don't mind it not that I'm used to it. I think that cutting ties with people before a ctb is mutually beneficial for you and the people around you. You're gonna feel less guilt for ctbing and they'll probably feel less guilt too that you decided to do that.

 

[AsAboveSoBelow]

This is what I've been doing since the past couple months - ending friendships/relationships with close friends and family members. Either formally (I texted them and gave some BS reasons why I can't/won't be around anymore or why we can't be friends anymore and that they shouldn't be in touch with me anymore) or slowly withdrawing from the circles of friends I had had.

It sucks feeling lonelier day by day (as I'm cutting more ties) and it's quite sad to see how they are getting on with their lives, but it's probably for the best.

It would be easier for people to move on if they're used to not having me around anymore. With my family members who I'm close to (they all live in different countries), I think it's better if they're not as attached to me as they were, so that it wouldn't hit them as hard if I were to CTB, as I'm already distancing myself from them.

 

[cwsyf]

I started doing this but only because I'm so tired of people telling me how much I have to live for or trying to convince me how selfish it would be to do it. I'm not so much concerned how it would affect the people around me but I'm just exhausted of hearing those same things over and over again but that's just me.

 

[epic]

trying to convince me how selfish it would be to do it.

Someone calling suicidal people selfish is a special kind of evil , whether they realize it or not.
Sorry someone said that to you.

 

[cwsyf]

Someone calling suicidal people selfish is a special kind of evil , whether they realize it or not.
Sorry someone said that to you.

That's exactly how I feel about it and nobody else understands and just constantly talks about how much my friends would miss me but it seems more selfish to demand that I continue to stay here for their sake while feeling the way I have for almost 2 decades, just about 2/3rds of my life.

It is what it is, it just reaffirms to me that nobody I know REALLY gets it if that makes sense. I don't have doubts that people I know have thought about ctb in passing or struggle with things greatly but more so that nobody I am close with understands how it feels to really just want to be gone.

 

[Forever Sleep]

It's a REALLY tricky one. There's that saying that 'no man is an island.' I think we suffer enormously when we are utterly issolated. I have tried to issolate as much as I can but it can become so difficult- especially when we really feel the need to reach out- or- it's expected to not seem rude- at Christmas, birthdays etc. I've even found myself in a position where I've reached out to a long lost family member- because they had requested to get in touch through other family members- and it seemed rude not to.

At the end of the day, it's very difficult to live out our lives without making some connections. I suppose I just think that keeping the intensity of connection to a minimum seems like the fairest thing to do- under the circumstances.

 

[starrvingstar]

leave them with happy memories, not the ones where you have distanced yourself. you can always write a final note to explain your situation to them and help them understand.

 

[Mirrory Me]

You might feel better if you saw them again, we are social creatures.