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saionara

saionara

Revenge in the air makes my lungs sick
Mar 8, 2023
13
I am very sorry if it seems like i am spamming but i really need help and this is all i can talk about atm.

I started seeing a therapist last week and for usual issues that dont involve ctb at all he seems like a pretty ok person. I dont really know the rules regarding hospitalization in my country but i doubt it would get me there if i went back for the second time this saturday and talked about this.

I am panicking because the ideation that got me to the top floor of my building a few years ago just came back this week and i feel like i should just go for it and wreak havoc on myself. I have stopped all else but this and i want to scream

I mean no disrespect to anyone and thank you for your ftime
 
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Octavia

Octavia

“I’d… rather kill myself.”
Mar 4, 2023
363
Maybe ask him directly about his stance on forced hospitalisation? As long as you do not tell them that you have a plan that would be executed in the very near future, they typically do not have the right to ship you to the Sadness Jail.
 
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saionara

saionara

Revenge in the air makes my lungs sick
Mar 8, 2023
13
Thank you for answers on both my posts, @Octavia . I suppose this is enough for tonight. Ill try and log off..
 
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raindrinker30

Member
Feb 2, 2023
26
Don't tell him about it he can't help you he can only send you to hospital and/or give you drugs that will destroy your brain and make your life worse. Just talk about your other issues that are probably related to why you want to ctb anyway.
 
Octavia

Octavia

“I’d… rather kill myself.”
Mar 4, 2023
363
Thank you for answers on both my posts, @Octavia . I suppose this is enough for tonight. Ill try and log off..
Ah, I had the impression that you looked familiar… rest well then!

Don't tell him about it he can't help you he can only send you to hospital and/or give you drugs that will destroy your brain and make your life worse. Just talk about your other issues that are probably related to why you want to ctb anyway.
Not all therapists all like that. All of my medical care providers are aware that I am severely suicidal, but since I am not planning to die in the very near future they do not feel like sending me to Grippy Socks Gulag. But then again I am in Canada, so therapists here might be nicer.

Edit: Also, if the drugs you are referring to are antidepressants, they can actually help and have helped a lot of people. Yes, we are on a site that is pro-choice when it comes to ending oneself, but please do not peddle medical misinformation. Maybe that antidepressants have not worked for you in the past, but they are not designed to destroy brains and may very well work for other people.
 
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Kattt

Banned
May 18, 2021
796
One of the most important things for a therapist during those initial appointments, is creating a strong relationship with the patient, that fosters trust. It's important you comprehend the limitations of confidentiality to which they are bound. To this end, if they haven't already done so, you should ask them to explain fully. If you have any doubts or questions about what they can and can't reveal about you, ask. It's really important that you feel comfortable in speaking freely.
 
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SamTam33

Warlock
Oct 9, 2022
763
What would confessing achieve? Does it feel different/better confessing to a therapist than it does confessing here?

What would you want their response to be if you did confess and what are the odds that they'll respond like you want? Those are the things I would consider first.
 
saionara

saionara

Revenge in the air makes my lungs sick
Mar 8, 2023
13
I still seek help i guess. This is hard to talk about. Trying to exploit someone who does this for a living and i want to vent knowing that im paying for it.

The most important part of it, though, is that I need to be fully honest. I just want to know how it feels. People often demand honesty when they can't handle it. = a huge reason for my suicidal feelings. There are so many things that are covered up in order to keep going and they explode often.
 

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