Venting She told me she never loved me

[SoulofSteel]

I thought it couldn't get any worse, but this hit me like a truck once more. I've already been suicidal about the breakup for about 5 months, nothing ever helped. I tried talking to her yesterday and got hit with the most gut wrenching text I ever got: "my feelings for you were never romantic, I just misunderstood them".... my whole "love life" was all a lie, all the effort and investement meant nothing.

I wanted to give myself a chance to get better but it only gets worse. I want to end it so badly but I don't want to hurt my family, I wish I could die naturally or make it look like an accident.

 

[mortuarymary]

What a bitch!
Fuck her. Fuck her and her negativity

 

[SoulofSteel]

What a bitch!
Fuck her. Fuck her and her negativity

I wish I had it in me to hate her, but I can't even do that

 

[mortuarymary]

I wish I had it in me to hate her, but I can't even do that

I've been there and know exactly what you mean. Bit this I promise you will pass. There are others out there.

 

[SoulofSteel]

I've been there and know exactly what you mean. Bit this I promise you will pass. There are others out there.

I don't know, it's been 5 months, I did everything and tried talking to a therapist, and it just got worse.

 

[mortuarymary]

I waited 2 years for some twat to come back to me. He never did, no tell I lie, as soon as I found my partner he wanted me back. I had to block and delete it from my life. I now have a great partner.

 

[SexyIncél]

I've already been suicidal about the breakup for about 5 months, nothing ever helped. I tried talking to her yesterday and got hit with the most gut wrenching text I ever got: "my feelings for you were never romantic, I just misunderstood them"....

Sounds like a rationalization after the fact. Very common to say "I didn't REALLY love him!!1" Simply means you twisted her up. And she needed to play these mindgame surgeries on herself, to heal from you & the breakup trauma

When pulling back from a decent girl, I offer to help them hunt a replacement. And I'm sorry to say, you got experience with a low-quality woman. Self-obsessed little sociopath, needing to upload her New & Improved Version into your head, because she sees others as a mirror

To the streets with her. You discover someone's nobility, when you see how they treat the weakened. In your brief existence, do you wish to have loved an ignoble creature?

Admittedly, she did one thing right: get a new mindset. Lots of guys take the red pill when the alternative is death

I waited 2 years for some twat to come back to me. He never did, no tell I lie, as soon as I found my partner he wanted me back. I had to block and delete it from my life. I now have a great partner.

Score! Winner. Hope your ex had nice graphic dreams about your improved life

 

[SoulofSteel]

Sounds like a rationalization after the fact. Very common to say "I didn't REALLY love him!!1" Simply means you twisted her up. And she needed to play these mindgame surgeries on herself, to heal from you & the breakup trauma

The way the breakup happened, I doubt she'd need to rationalize things to heal herself, we never had any major issues , in fact I was the one hurt by some of her actions and arguments, she would say/do unreasonable things and never compromise to make things work even though I'd be willing to, and it only took for her a few bad days to completely leave and never look back instead of even attempting to fix anyhting.

Probably had someone else in mind the whole time, she even told me she always saw me more of a good friend than a partner, and we used to talk about marriage ffs. I think I was nothing more than an emotional tampon she used to heal herself from a walking red flag she was hurt from before with before deciding she could do better.

 

[BrainShower]

Hey man, 5 months isn't too long in he grand scheme of things.
Also, never listen to the justifications of someone who has broken up with you, they are by nature half-truths and deception.

 

[SexyIncél]

The way the breakup happened, I doubt she'd need to rationalize things to heal herself, we never had any major issues , in fact I was the one hurt by some of her actions and arguments, she would say/do unreasonable things and never compromise to make things work even though I'd be willing to, and it only took for her a few bad days to completely leave and never look back instead of even attempting to fix anyhting.

Probably had someone else in mind the whole time, she even told me she always saw me more of a good friend than a partner, and we used to talk about marriage ffs. I think I was nothing more than an emotional tampon she used to heal herself from a walking red flag she was hurt from before with before deciding she could do better.

Hmm... Casey Zander's videos center on this phenomenon. His model: gals are biologically motivated to spam you with crazy tests, to stress-test you. If you fail to maintain frame, she's hardwired to reduce your value in her mind. (Perhaps because she needs to know you can provide & defend your family.) The tests never stop — no matter how much she's into you. She can't help it

This model says your attributes are irrelevant. She can rate your value a 10; let's suppose you're famous & so on. Then a few failed tests later, you get knocked down to 8.5, then 7, then 6.5... Then some rando loser sk8rboi's an 8 because he's blithe to her, and it's all over

(For such reasons, many guys have the policy to never cry in front of a gal. Because you never know if it turns her off — and often neither does she. Cry in front of guys instead)

In my experience, this model has good predictive & explanatory power. People's rationalizations must be taken with a grain of salt, as most suck at introspection — oblivious to their own psychological mechanisms

 

[deedeme]

I'm sorry OP. What she told you says a lot about the type of person she is.

Unfortunately love can hurt, some people start relationships just for the sake of it, only to later realise that wasn't what they really needed in the first place.

If only people were more honest..

 

[Napoleon]

I wish I had it in me to hate her, but I can't even do that

IKTF, fuck. I hope everything works out and you find a girl who's way better than her and you forget all about this experience. Godspeed, OP.

 

[GroundControl]

I thought it couldn't get any worse, but this hit me like a truck once more. I've already been suicidal about the breakup for about 5 months, nothing ever helped. I tried talking to her yesterday and got hit with the most gut wrenching text I ever got: "my feelings for you were never romantic, I just misunderstood them".... my whole "love life" was all a lie, all the effort and investement meant nothing.

I wanted to give myself a chance to get better but it only gets worse. I want to end it so badly but I don't want to hurt my family, I wish I could die naturally or make it look like an accident.

I'm so sorry. Regardless of what you choose to do moving forward, you should know that you didn't deserve that. And there are others out there who can and could truly love you, if you are willing to stay and wait for that. But if you are not, that too is understandable. I wish you the best.