John Smith
Arcanist
- Aug 6, 2018
- 424
There is a lot of evidence that certain psychedelics can induce therapeutic experiences. Maybe people on here would benefit.
Lra888
Enlightened
- Sep 30, 2018
- 1,140
I've taken mushrooms several times. The first time I took them I ate an eighth and that was probably my most powerful experience with them.
Came on slowly with auditory and visual hallucinations then everything went fucking crazy, at one point I was so emotional that I was in the fetal position in an almost agonized state because I realized I was completely alone within myself (even though several others were around me also tripping - like I knew there was no real connection with them. I became paranoid of others who were not on mushrooms (this was in an apartment party with other people just drinking or whatever).
When the full effect came on I couldnt fucking believe it. The sound became almost monotone but echoey and almost as though it was being played forward and backward - i remember having the thought "OH so this is why psychedelic music sounds like it does - they're recreating this". The visuals were also crazy. I went for a walk and the street lights looked like flowers almost like the light rays were solid. The grass and mulch looked like it was arranged geometrically. Every sound around me like the drunken yells and laughter from a far off bar felt like they were right in my head. Time was all fucked up like one moment to the next was broken. I had thoughts of the past and how time passing was not what I had thought it was - I thought about childhood then about the sixties, ww2 etc and how even though they were before I was born they were not far away as I had perceived them to be. There were moments when I had no memory of myself - I was currently thinking but with no memory (maybe that's what people call "ego death" because I had no concept of myself.
Other observations: I realized that a lot of aztec/mexica art was almost certainly inspired by the visuals caused by mushrooms. I looked at my arms and the veins were what I would describe as tribal patterns & art like you see on those mayan codexes.
Looking in the mirror was terrifying because face was all distorted and I could see all of my veins etc.
I felt the presence of others. I was sitting in a living room and out of my peripheral vision I felt shadows of people flowing through the doorways.
(I typed this while drunk so please forgive the rambling)
Came on slowly with auditory and visual hallucinations then everything went fucking crazy, at one point I was so emotional that I was in the fetal position in an almost agonized state because I realized I was completely alone within myself (even though several others were around me also tripping - like I knew there was no real connection with them. I became paranoid of others who were not on mushrooms (this was in an apartment party with other people just drinking or whatever).
When the full effect came on I couldnt fucking believe it. The sound became almost monotone but echoey and almost as though it was being played forward and backward - i remember having the thought "OH so this is why psychedelic music sounds like it does - they're recreating this". The visuals were also crazy. I went for a walk and the street lights looked like flowers almost like the light rays were solid. The grass and mulch looked like it was arranged geometrically. Every sound around me like the drunken yells and laughter from a far off bar felt like they were right in my head. Time was all fucked up like one moment to the next was broken. I had thoughts of the past and how time passing was not what I had thought it was - I thought about childhood then about the sixties, ww2 etc and how even though they were before I was born they were not far away as I had perceived them to be. There were moments when I had no memory of myself - I was currently thinking but with no memory (maybe that's what people call "ego death" because I had no concept of myself.
Other observations: I realized that a lot of aztec/mexica art was almost certainly inspired by the visuals caused by mushrooms. I looked at my arms and the veins were what I would describe as tribal patterns & art like you see on those mayan codexes.
Looking in the mirror was terrifying because face was all distorted and I could see all of my veins etc.
I felt the presence of others. I was sitting in a living room and out of my peripheral vision I felt shadows of people flowing through the doorways.
(I typed this while drunk so please forgive the rambling)
Lra888
Enlightened
- Sep 30, 2018
- 1,140
To elaborate on this: When I would hear a person speak or hear an ambient sound, the moment I wound think about it I would hear it again so it formed a patterned echo in my mind. Also in a room full of people the sound was all garbled and almost reversed swirling at times.
For example I was laying on my bed in my apartment alone because I had to temporarily leave the party because i was totally overloaded. I lived across from a bar and could hear they drunken voices and they were all echoey and the tones sounded off. There was also no distance: even though they were across the street they sounded like they were right in my room. It sounded similar to the way the echoey background vocal effect is on these songs:
therhydler
Enlightened
- Dec 7, 2018
- 1,196
I took part in two ayahuasca ceremonies. The first one was a few years back and it was a difficult but enriching experience. I had moments when I felt so light it was as if I didn't have a physical body and I felt energy flowing from my heart. It felt as if I was floating. Time seemed to stand still, but it was beautiful.
I was a different person then. The second ceremony I went to after my mental breakdown and it was the most horrifying experience I have ever had. I guess I'm writing about it here because I never explained this to anyone, and anyone who hears I took a psychedelic immediately has that look in their eyes that says "ah yes, that is why she's gone crazy. Messing with drugs". My mental breakdown was before, however, and life was already utter agony, I was already thinking about death. The drug just enhanced the experience, that is simply how it works. I didn't go there for fun or to distract myself. There was an ounce of spirituality left in me, desperately hoping that something would change my life around, that I would get "answers". I thought the plant could maybe help me, guide me. But it doesn't work that way. I was already completely lost, beyond repair, beyond hope.
It's difficult to describe what I experienced. I felt incredibly strong nausea, yet I just could not throw up. Throwing up is considered normal and often even desired with ayahuasca. Yet for the life of me I could not. You were meant to not leave the room, but I went countless times to the toilet, sticking my fingers down my throat, my whole body shaking, praying desperately in my soul to get the cursed substance out of me. I beat the walls and doubled over from fear. I would slip in and out of consciousness, I was dizzy, my vision swam in front of me, I could barely locate the bucket I had for throwing up. It was the greatest effort in the world to walk from my place in the circle to the toilet without falling over. It was as if a demon had possessed me, and the harder I tried to rid myself of it the more vicious it became. Now I realize that demon is me. My life. I will not rest until I rid myself of it.
After a while people started taking second doses of the drug. My experience had not changed, the effects had not worn off, like for everyone else. An even stronger terror gripped me. What if this will never end? When daylight started to break it was time for finishing the ceremony by a ritual drinking of water. Everyone was sitting up, relaxed, smiling. I could not sit up. Nothing had changed. Everyone was back to normal, except me. Every breath was agony. I really started to believe now that this would never change. I could not throw up and would not be able to, this state would last forever... I was shivering with terror. This was my first encounter with hell.
Of course this wore off in the end. I gulped down litres of water and eventually also returned to "normal". The next day I was in a kind of stupor, hazy and lost. Trying to deny what had happened, to deny the state I was in.
Right now my entire life is a bit like that ayahuasca experience. A living hell...
I was a different person then. The second ceremony I went to after my mental breakdown and it was the most horrifying experience I have ever had. I guess I'm writing about it here because I never explained this to anyone, and anyone who hears I took a psychedelic immediately has that look in their eyes that says "ah yes, that is why she's gone crazy. Messing with drugs". My mental breakdown was before, however, and life was already utter agony, I was already thinking about death. The drug just enhanced the experience, that is simply how it works. I didn't go there for fun or to distract myself. There was an ounce of spirituality left in me, desperately hoping that something would change my life around, that I would get "answers". I thought the plant could maybe help me, guide me. But it doesn't work that way. I was already completely lost, beyond repair, beyond hope.
It's difficult to describe what I experienced. I felt incredibly strong nausea, yet I just could not throw up. Throwing up is considered normal and often even desired with ayahuasca. Yet for the life of me I could not. You were meant to not leave the room, but I went countless times to the toilet, sticking my fingers down my throat, my whole body shaking, praying desperately in my soul to get the cursed substance out of me. I beat the walls and doubled over from fear. I would slip in and out of consciousness, I was dizzy, my vision swam in front of me, I could barely locate the bucket I had for throwing up. It was the greatest effort in the world to walk from my place in the circle to the toilet without falling over. It was as if a demon had possessed me, and the harder I tried to rid myself of it the more vicious it became. Now I realize that demon is me. My life. I will not rest until I rid myself of it.
After a while people started taking second doses of the drug. My experience had not changed, the effects had not worn off, like for everyone else. An even stronger terror gripped me. What if this will never end? When daylight started to break it was time for finishing the ceremony by a ritual drinking of water. Everyone was sitting up, relaxed, smiling. I could not sit up. Nothing had changed. Everyone was back to normal, except me. Every breath was agony. I really started to believe now that this would never change. I could not throw up and would not be able to, this state would last forever... I was shivering with terror. This was my first encounter with hell.
Of course this wore off in the end. I gulped down litres of water and eventually also returned to "normal". The next day I was in a kind of stupor, hazy and lost. Trying to deny what had happened, to deny the state I was in.
Right now my entire life is a bit like that ayahuasca experience. A living hell...
Aesthler
Death is the only God who comes when you call
- Sep 25, 2018
- 416
My first psychedelic experiences came from 2013, I was living in Utah at the time I was pretty depressed I worked at a 7-eleven gas station overnight. I rented a room in a house with two other guys, one was a really quiet, smart, shy guy we will call him, 'M' who mostly kept to himself in his room and we got along really well 'cause I try not to bother other people or interfere with their personal space. The other guy we will call 'C' was actually one of my older sisters ex boyfriends he remained a long time family friend. I got along with C very well, we always talked about other dimensions, space, time, you name it plus we worked on some cars together in the garage. C had a lot of background in drugs and I trusted his expertise.
I had already failed at the CO method, I had a darker way less pleasurable hallucinogenic type experience with taking way too many over the counter sleeping pills, I'm talking about seeing flashes of dark entities and hearing real scary shit while also waking up and falling asleep periodically because I was gonna take those and pass out in my car with the exhaust running to my window. Anyway I freaked out turned off the car and left that idea behind me. Now C knew I was dealing with this suicidal stuff and he kinda gave me his insight and let me know when his wife left him he was in the same boat. He didn't really push a lot of pro-life stuff on me he just said "well I hope you stick around 'cause I think you're a cool guy and I'd miss you".
A couple weeks after that C comes to my work at 7 eleven late at night and we talk about getting some stuff, then next thing I know it we're driving off to Salt Lake City to see another one of my sisters ex boyfriends 'S', different sister though I have 3. I tell S I want enough ecstasy for all three of us and also enough LSD because why not. He works his magic and lets me know theres even enough ecstasy for me to try on my way back home as a sample, and I take it but at this time I've only ever done some cocaine and weed. Now it was only one pill and it didn't last more than a few hours of the feel good, it removed all anxiety I had before our little house party though.
The day of was pretty cool too, C and I went out bought a bunch of water bottles and glow sticks and pacifiers and shit and we all meet up at the house S, C and I. M was not at home this day we kinda planned around him because like I said before we knew he wasn't into it and we had respect for him as a roommate. We all take one tab of LSD first, I wasn't able to sample this so I was like what's gonna happen. Eventually we all started looking at the blinds and I was like dude those blinds are fucking moving, so they were like okay it's time to take the ecstasy. We take two pills, and I think we had another tab of LSD left and another two pills of ecstasy left for all of us. We've been playing music the whole time but man once that ecstasy hit me, I started to feel it, and once darkness came and all the lights were off and we snapped those glow sticks I got the full tracers and danced for hours, shit felt amazing to touch, we even took breaks from dancing to lay in the grass of our backyard and look at the stars. I never danced before this or really got in the whole electronic music scene but this made me love it. I danced until the next day, even after all the drugs wore off I was feeling that amazing.
When I finally went to sleep and woke up at night to pee, I got up and the next thing I know I was laying on the floor. I didn't even know I just fell face first into my bedroom carpet. I made my way to the fridge, opened it and reached for the bottle of water and next moment I was sitting next to the fridge against the wall and it was open. I grabbed a bottle of water, and started drinking it and made my way to the toilet finally with my water and went back to sleep after. I felt like shit for a day or so but it opened me up to things.
Fast forward maybe a week or two later a super cool chick friend 'A' of C's and I comes by and somehow we get on the topic of shrooms, I told her I'd really like to do them and we all said okay fuck it let's do it. Again we gotta drive somewhere pick up these fucking shrooms from someone A knows, they're a couple very hippie like I don't know their names but I'll refer to them as the couple. So the couple lets us know these are good and I wasn't aware they were coming back to our house to also trip balls with us.
We all come back to the house, I eat the shrooms I think it was an eighth of dried shrooms of course they don't taste that great. It took a little bit to come on though, but man I could tell right away this was gonna be a ride because I was talking to C and I noticed as soon as they kicked in his face started to look orange and morph a little bit and all I got from LSD was tracers from the lights. I was feeling really heavy nausea too, I sat down with the couple and they started talking to me I could hold somewhat of a conversation before the next wave of shit came on. Pretty much reality started to melt away around me, it felt like everyone in the house was going through different portals as we migrated around, I also felt like we all had a telepathic link because as I was thinking shit they would respond. Shortly after I had to throw up all over myself 'cause it was way too intense, they kind of bring me to the bathroom where I wash up a little bit but then I start tripping even harder after and I end up with without my pants watching some crazy shit on the TV huddled up in the recliner thinking to myself I'm dying. Then it ends, everyone goes home C and I go to bed.
I did still struggle with some suicidal stuff 6 months later but I felt different for a long time after. I think if you're gonna do it for therapeutic purposes micro-dosing it is the way to go.
I had already failed at the CO method, I had a darker way less pleasurable hallucinogenic type experience with taking way too many over the counter sleeping pills, I'm talking about seeing flashes of dark entities and hearing real scary shit while also waking up and falling asleep periodically because I was gonna take those and pass out in my car with the exhaust running to my window. Anyway I freaked out turned off the car and left that idea behind me. Now C knew I was dealing with this suicidal stuff and he kinda gave me his insight and let me know when his wife left him he was in the same boat. He didn't really push a lot of pro-life stuff on me he just said "well I hope you stick around 'cause I think you're a cool guy and I'd miss you".
A couple weeks after that C comes to my work at 7 eleven late at night and we talk about getting some stuff, then next thing I know it we're driving off to Salt Lake City to see another one of my sisters ex boyfriends 'S', different sister though I have 3. I tell S I want enough ecstasy for all three of us and also enough LSD because why not. He works his magic and lets me know theres even enough ecstasy for me to try on my way back home as a sample, and I take it but at this time I've only ever done some cocaine and weed. Now it was only one pill and it didn't last more than a few hours of the feel good, it removed all anxiety I had before our little house party though.
The day of was pretty cool too, C and I went out bought a bunch of water bottles and glow sticks and pacifiers and shit and we all meet up at the house S, C and I. M was not at home this day we kinda planned around him because like I said before we knew he wasn't into it and we had respect for him as a roommate. We all take one tab of LSD first, I wasn't able to sample this so I was like what's gonna happen. Eventually we all started looking at the blinds and I was like dude those blinds are fucking moving, so they were like okay it's time to take the ecstasy. We take two pills, and I think we had another tab of LSD left and another two pills of ecstasy left for all of us. We've been playing music the whole time but man once that ecstasy hit me, I started to feel it, and once darkness came and all the lights were off and we snapped those glow sticks I got the full tracers and danced for hours, shit felt amazing to touch, we even took breaks from dancing to lay in the grass of our backyard and look at the stars. I never danced before this or really got in the whole electronic music scene but this made me love it. I danced until the next day, even after all the drugs wore off I was feeling that amazing.
When I finally went to sleep and woke up at night to pee, I got up and the next thing I know I was laying on the floor. I didn't even know I just fell face first into my bedroom carpet. I made my way to the fridge, opened it and reached for the bottle of water and next moment I was sitting next to the fridge against the wall and it was open. I grabbed a bottle of water, and started drinking it and made my way to the toilet finally with my water and went back to sleep after. I felt like shit for a day or so but it opened me up to things.
Fast forward maybe a week or two later a super cool chick friend 'A' of C's and I comes by and somehow we get on the topic of shrooms, I told her I'd really like to do them and we all said okay fuck it let's do it. Again we gotta drive somewhere pick up these fucking shrooms from someone A knows, they're a couple very hippie like I don't know their names but I'll refer to them as the couple. So the couple lets us know these are good and I wasn't aware they were coming back to our house to also trip balls with us.
We all come back to the house, I eat the shrooms I think it was an eighth of dried shrooms of course they don't taste that great. It took a little bit to come on though, but man I could tell right away this was gonna be a ride because I was talking to C and I noticed as soon as they kicked in his face started to look orange and morph a little bit and all I got from LSD was tracers from the lights. I was feeling really heavy nausea too, I sat down with the couple and they started talking to me I could hold somewhat of a conversation before the next wave of shit came on. Pretty much reality started to melt away around me, it felt like everyone in the house was going through different portals as we migrated around, I also felt like we all had a telepathic link because as I was thinking shit they would respond. Shortly after I had to throw up all over myself 'cause it was way too intense, they kind of bring me to the bathroom where I wash up a little bit but then I start tripping even harder after and I end up with without my pants watching some crazy shit on the TV huddled up in the recliner thinking to myself I'm dying. Then it ends, everyone goes home C and I go to bed.
I did still struggle with some suicidal stuff 6 months later but I felt different for a long time after. I think if you're gonna do it for therapeutic purposes micro-dosing it is the way to go.
John Smith
Arcanist
- Aug 6, 2018
- 424
Well a lot of it comes down to 'set and setting'. In other words mindset and environment. In the right set and setting it can be very therapeutic. Taking the right amount helps too. I'm not sure micro dosing would help very much but neither does too much. If you're goal is to try to get a new perspective on yourself and your problems going into it there is a good chance you'll make progress in that regard.
Aesthler
Death is the only God who comes when you call
- Sep 25, 2018
- 416
I think this is good input I also think it comes down to the fact that everyones different so in general psychedelics might not even be for you some people I know just don't like them at all or get anything out of them. Others love it and can get things out of it. It's a personal journey and I feel like you gotta figure out what works for you.
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