Shameless alcoholic post about suicide

[GravityUtilizer]

Yeah yeah yeah we all want to catch that damn bus. But do we really, when alcohol exists???

Maybe in my heart I just want to do a Leaving Las Vegas...

Though now I have SN, even though I live in supported accommodation (other fuck ups like me are always around) I at least have a lock on my door, which could be beneficial if I feel like alcohol just ain't gonna be enough no more...

 

[Ghost2211]

I feel you. I'm not even on the suicide scale when stoned, but it's not realistic or cost effective to be wasted all the time.

 

[catscradle]

alcohol makes everything better, but the hangovers.
and then you get forced to AA....

 

[GravityUtilizer]

I feel you. I'm not even on the suicide scale when stoned, but it's not realistic or cost effective to be wasted all the time.

Yeah the high on your DOC makes you question your own sense of the suicidal. Until it wears off of course

 

[Ghost2211]

Yeah the high on your DOC makes you question your own sense of the suicidal. Until it wears off of course

Exactly, I always now when I'm coming down because I get all sad again. At least it offers temporary relief.

 

[GravityUtilizer]

alcohol makes everything better, but the hangovers.
and then you get forced to AA....

I can deal with all of that but not so much a society that makes you work 40+ hours a week to fund some profits for the fat cats who really run the world with their corporations.

 

[Secrets1]

Yeah yeah yeah we all want to catch that damn bus. But do we really, when alcohol exists???

Maybe in my heart I just want to do a Leaving Las Vegas...

Though now I have SN, even though I live in supported accommodation (other fuck ups like me are always around) I at least have a lock on my door, which could be beneficial if I feel like alcohol just ain't gonna be enough no more.

watched the movie this afternoon. I love Vegas it'd be a good place to go. In the desert with a view.

 

[GravityUtilizer]

watched the movie this afternoon. I love Vegas it'd be a good place to go. In the desert with a view.

It's a movie worth watching for sure.

 

[LittleJem]

Exactly, I always now when I'm coming down because I get all sad again. At least it offers temporary relief.

Weed is good medicine. It's better than a lot of other medicines! It's an ancient medicine. If it worked for me all the time, I'd take it all the time. I've had years when I did. My tolerance now is pretty high though!

 

[Ghost2211]

Weed is good medicine. It's better than a lot of other medicines! It's an ancient medicine. If it worked for me all the time, I'd take it all the time. I've had years when I did. My tolerance now is pretty high though!

That's why I only use it every 2 or 3 days. It doesn't help as much if used daily.

 

[TooConscious]

To be honest you sound exactly how I was at 21-24 in and out homeless hostels\hospital and psych wards. At 23 I was accepted into supported accommodation and it would've been alright if I were a little wiser and kept myself to myself but I ended up getting involved with other addicts and kicked out at 24 it was a painful road getting a flat 5 years later I'm still ending it.
I used to watch films like leaving Las Vegas, even bad santa on repeat thinking being an alcoholic was so cool when I was 18 till I ended up homeless and unwanted at 21.
Leaving Las Vegas is a lie. When you drink like that women even the street whores won't entertain you because you stink, your attitude is terrible by anyone's standard you have such an I flared sense of self but really you're fuckin pathetic and without a belly full of drink you can't lift yourself off the bed this is before your pancreas gets angry, liver, kidneys, hormones, malnutrition, appendix all kick up. and we all sit together in our little circles talking the same boring stories because we ducked our lives up on expensive piss.

Its damn wrong how alcohol is glorified.

Maybe you identify maybe not.

It's a movie worth watching for sure.

As Gary Oldman says about it I 100%agree cinematically yes but realism no when you drink like that you're just pretty much bed bound even temporarily.
You wouldn't have the mental faculties to charm a slug.

 

[GravityUtilizer]

To be honest you sound exactly how I was at 21-24 in and out homeless hostels\hospital and psych wards. At 23 I was accepted into supported accommodation and it would've been alright if I were a little wiser and kept myself to myself but I ended up getting involved with other addicts and kicked out at 24 it was a painful road getting a flat 5 years later I'm still ending it.
I used to watch films like leaving Las Vegas, even bad santa on repeat thinking being an alcoholic was so cool when I was 18 till I ended up homeless and unwanted at 21.
Leaving Las Vegas is a lie. When you drink like that women even the street whores won't entertain you because you stink, your attitude is terrible by anyone's standard you have such an I flared sense of self but really you're fuckin pathetic and without a belly full of drink you can't lift yourself off the bed this is before your pancreas gets angry, liver, kidneys, hormones, malnutrition, appendix all kick up. and we all sit together in our little circles talking the same boring stories because we ducked our lives up on expensive piss.

Its damn wrong how alcohol is glorified.

Maybe you identify maybe not.

As Gary Oldman says about it I 100%agree cinematically yes but realism no when you drink like that you're just pretty much bed bound even temporarily.
You wouldn't have the mental faculties to charm a slug.

Dude stop killing my dream.

 

[TheGoodGuy]

Yeah yeah yeah we all want to catch that damn bus. But do we really, when alcohol exists???

Maybe in my heart I just want to do a Leaving Las Vegas...

Though now I have SN, even though I live in supported accommodation (other fuck ups like me are always around) I at least have a lock on my door, which could be beneficial if I feel like alcohol just ain't gonna be enough no more...

I feel alcohol is a curse and I would have ctb sooner if I didn´t drink so often which is almost every day from a pro-life point of view alcohol could be seen as an anti depressant, people often talk about how many people get killed by drugs including alcohol but not how many they "save" I am sure thousands of people who are suicidal didn´t kill themselves on that specific day because they got high or drunk.

At the moment alcohol is the only thing that makes "life" tolerable and to the guests reading this no alcohol didn´t make me more depressed I actually started drinking after years of apathy and anhedonia so I started drinking more often to cope with the anhedonia because at least things seems a bit more interesting when drunk like watching movies which is what I mainly do when drunk.

It´s ironic really, I used to always hate alcohol ever since I was 16 because I knew it was poison for your body so I smoked weed instead and now I drink alcohol almost every day, I actually tried smoking weed several times after I had been sober for 4 years because with Cannabis it used to be just relaxion, maybe munchies or laughing (which I really miss) and you don´t get a hangover, alcohol also makes my psoriasis worse but anyways after trying Cannabis again a couple years back I just got anxiety from it, it didn´t work at all like it used to sometimes I think what if I had never stopped would it still give me anxiety? So anyways I settled for alcohol since it´s also basically the only drug that doesn´t give me anxiety nowadays I don´t know why I get anxiety from all these drugs it never happened as a teenager even cigarettes when I am not drunk will give me anxiety nowadays.

So anyways I just drink now to just have some decent few hours where I don´t have to worry about anything and feel less anhedonia; the episode Assburgers from South Park is a perfect example of how anhedonia feels and then when Stan get´s drunk life seems good again although exaggerated in the episode but that episode is like a 20 minute documentary on apathy and anhedonia and how only alcohol will make "life" tolerable.