Shame of loneliness

[IsThisTheEnd?]

Does anyone else feel really ashamed that their alone?

 

[uselesswaste]

no, I feel more comfortable being alone. I feel more ashamed when I go out and meet people's eyes.

 

[artificialpasta]

Yeah but by definition I can't do anything about it

 

[whywere]

I am not ashamed, as much as it would be so darn nice to watch a sunset with someone once in a while.

Walter

 

[Night_Crew]

I can relate to this. I work in a sector that focuses on helping individuals and families following bereavement, alongside the general mental health conditions that fall under the blanket term of 'grief'. I try to help people experiencing chronic isolation and/or loneliness all day and always feel ashamed/like I am giving advice despite myself having absolutely nobody. I definitely feel that at my age, my isolation is definitely strange and signifies something inherently wrong with me. I sometimes make jokes about not having anyone, but I recognise how much this eats away at people throughout the day.

 

[cambrai33]

I think as a society we have become much more insular, the feeling of being alone exasperated by the shinning social media posts of everyone having the most amazing lives that always seem other worldly

 

[Sherri]

In my case wouldn't call it ashamed, just a bit sad.

 

[Suicidebydeath]

I'm ashamed that I don't feel worthy of company any more. I get stressed out thinking I'm not good enough, making good things worse or not doing the right thing. I wish I didn't feel this way, it's unbearable when I either don't want to or can't be alone.

Then when I'm alone again I hate the loneliness and the cycle continues.

I can relate to people that feel awful both in and out of relationships/friendships so much. I need to find a cure, or I will definitely ctb.

 

[FuneralCry]

I do not, being alone feels right. I cannot stand people, I find it tiring being around others. I cannot relate to people, I need my own space.

 

[4eyebiped]

In a sense I feel shame. While I am not the most pleasant guy to look at I know that had I pursued a good education and got a stable job, the provider aspect would had attracted someone. Had I practiced a skillset or hobby and got very good at one, that would had attracted another group of women sharing similar interests. Had I been more active and put myself out there interacting, my odds would had been increased as well. When you prison yourself in a room mainly interacting on the internet while hating yourself, then your odds of finding someone will diminish to near zero.

While I do have issues, I have to also take ownership as well. One must be careful not to allow their weaknesses to become their instant go to excuse for everything. I fell into a trap at an earlier age that I never escaped from. Hopefully, the rest of you do not and find some sort of happiness out there. My grumpy ass self will now start practicing saying humbug for the coming Christmas.

 

[stellabelle]

No.
Because every time I have been around people, they have pushed and stirred the shit pot and then acted like they didn't do it.

They listen or look for what they can "use" to cause a person distress or harm and then when there are no consequences for those actions, there's a huge problem. It just gets worse all the time.

 

[Pluto]

When I view myself from the perspective of others judging me, yes I feel ashamed to have failed so spectacularly at the one thing that I most cared about.

But it is also possible to take into account the effects of past abuses and lack of opportunities. 'Normal people' make mistakes too, and usually get to move on far more readily. So from that perspective, it's just a natural outcome of initial circumstances.

Also, loneliness in society seems to increase in proportion with human population growth. It seems to make us more competitive and shallower, such that genuine connections get replaced with social media likes.

 

[IsThisTheEnd?]

Wow what a-lot of great replies.
There is a stigma of being so alone.

 

[EmptyFlesh]

Not ashamed of being alone but ashamed of feeling lonely, for sure. I've grown so accustomed to being a loner that I now feel ashamed to admit I crave for human connection sometimes and get surprised at people openly stating they miss someone or ask to spend more time together.

 

[meetapple]

I don't feel ashamed for being alone. I feel it is a byproduct of my mental state which isn't my fault.

 

[Julgran]

Wow what a-lot of great replies.
There is a stigma of being so alone.

The way that society is progressing, it's highly likely that more and more people will find themselves alone or lonely, or both, so there's no shame in that, really.

 

[Marktheghost]

I'm ashamed to tell people how few girlfriends I've had, and possibly ashamed to admit that I've got no friends.