Sexuality issues

[FireFox]

This is embrassing and havent told anyone. I live in the UK

All my life i have been attracted to men( emotionally, sexually and physically). Often i would get crushed if guys didnt love me back. Growing up i can see myself getting married to man.

I am very feminine woman in terms of dressing ( wearing dresses , lipstick etc). I love being femmine.

More rescently i have been having desires and wanting to be with women. I am open to dating women

Being single for so long( never had relationship in my teens or university)
I realise now i want to be loved for who i am and desire intimacy regardless of sex. I want someone to really love me.

It is embrassing realising i am interested in both sexes.

It scares me because i have been attracted to men all my life. I dont want people thinking i am lesbian . I am not because men arouse me .

It more socially acceptable for men to have same sex relationships where as women are seen as there is something wrong with them


My family disporve of same sex relationships and are really religious

Any lesbian women or bi women is this normal?

When did you discover your sexuality and when did you know

 

[Good4Nothing]

Nothing to be embarrassed about. You're bisexual. It's actually fairly common.

 

[ApproachingDeath]

Yes, I am bisexual woman as well. I knew I liked women before I even knew I liked men. I was in elementary school when I discovered I was attracted to women. It is nearing pride month. I know it may be difficult to embrace your new found self, but don't let anyone bring you down for your sexuality. This may prove more difficult given your family situation, however allowing yourself to be your authentic self should be sought out. Stay safe and only tell friends and family when you're ready and feel safe to do so.

 

[4eyebiped]

Everything you are talking about is normal. There is nothing to be sorry about nor embarrassed about. It is perfectly okay to be straight, bi or gay. Yes, there are rigid archaic minded folks but don't let them dictate your life or you truly will remain miserable. Love who you want to love. Experiment if you want.

Personally, I hope you stick with guys but I am biased because love you women and want you all to myself! ;)

 

[sweetness]

it is completely normal to feel this way - don't worry. i'd be lying if the process of coming to terms with your sexuality doesn't hurt like a b*tch sometimes. i discovered my sexuality quite early on (year 8/thirteen years old or so) and in a relatively tolerant environment and it was still so difficult for me to deal with at times. i was never attracted to men and fell in love with a teacher at my school, though I never told anyone about the last part. you appear to have it much worse than I did, with a homophobic family and all. i can only hope that they'll learn to prioritise their daughter and her happiness over a book. i know there will be times you hate yourself for this, but please understand that there's nothing wrong with feeling how you do, no matter what people say. both in terms of coming to terms with it and bisexuality itself. everyone has a different journey, but in the end, we all want to be happy and feel love.

bisexuality is certainly not immune to discrimination - i hate to say it but if people see you in the street holding hands with another woman, they will most likely automatically assume you are a lesbian. people think very black-and-white in that regard - either you are straight, or you are gay. there's not really a way to show you're in the gray area, unfortunately. please don't be disgusted or embarrassed as a result of these assumptions. being a lesbian is nothing to be ashamed of and neither is being a bisexual. there will be times where you will hate your sexuality but there will also be times where you don't. sometimes i love being a lesbian and am proud of who I am, other times my sexuality is one of the things i hate the most about myself. there will be ups and downs, and i'm so glad that you're looking at the ups already. please look forwards to those moments - love is one of the greatest things a person can experience, and being bisexual means you have so many opportunities to find it, whether it is from a man or a woman. many women in the sapphic dating scene are bisexual too ! i wish you all the best.

( one last thing - don't feel obliged to come out ! movies and books and tv shows make it seem like once you know you are lgbt, you must immediately come out of the closet. i never felt comfortable doing that and my parents were tolerant towards lgbt people - that sort of vulnerability is something i could never put myself through. by coming out to your family, you could even be putting yourself at risk. if you want to come out, come out, by all means. but please don't feel like you have to. the only person your sexuality concerns is yourself, and i hope you learn to love the bisexual part of you as much as everything else about yourself that you love. )

 

[pete_x]

Religion is abnormal.

 

[Arrow]

Religion is abnormal.

based

 

[Mistake of Nature]

All sexual orientations are natural and 100% normal. I know it's scary and confusing when you're starting to discover parts of your sexuality that you weren't aware of before, and it's especially difficult if you're in an environment that is unaccepting of LGBTQ+, but rest assured that there's nothing wrong with being attracted to multiple genders. Sexuality is very fluid and can change throughout our lives, so it's not uncommon to have realizations like this.

I'm an almost 30 year old woman, and I just barely realized a few years ago that I'm not "straight". But even now, I still have no idea what I'd label my sexual orientation. I'm still in the process of figuring it all out too, so you're definitely not alone!

 

[pete_x]

All sexual orientations are natural and 100% normal. I know it's scary and confusing when you're starting to discover parts of your sexuality that you weren't aware of before, and it's especially difficult if you're in an environment that is unaccepting of LGTBQ+, but rest assured that there's nothing wrong with being attracted to multiple genders. Sexuality is very fluid and can change throughout our lives, so it's not uncommon to have realizations like this.

I'm an almost 30 year old woman, and I just barely realized a few years ago that I realized that I'm not "straight". But even now, I still have no idea what I'd label my sexual orientation. I'm still in the process of figuring it all out too, so you're definitely not alone!

You are a human being.

 

[SSlostallhope]

I'm bisexual female and I don't give two hoots what anyone thinks of that.

it's my body, my mind, I get to share it with whomn I please

 

[Whale_bones]

You're not alone! There's a lot of us and we have many different styles. Feminine bisexual and lesbian women absolutely exist, they just don't get very good representation in standard media (nor do any lesbians for that matter.) I've always known I like women, but I still struggle often with the societal pressure to be straight. It's something I can never change though, it's who I am.

You're probably having some fear simply based off of the fact you haven't had the opportunity to see someone like yourself dating a woman before. Now that we have YouTube though, that's a great place to see that lesbian and bi women are out there living happy lives. I suggest starting with "Rose and Rosie".

 

[FireFox]

Everything you are talking about is normal. There is nothing to be sorry about nor embarrassed about. It is perfectly okay to be straight, bi or gay. Yes, there are rigid archaic minded folks but don't let them dictate your life or you truly will remain miserable. Love who you want to love. Experiment if you want.

Personally, I hope you stick with guys but I am biased because love you women and want you all to myself! ;)

@4eyebiped This post made me laugh. You are funny

 

[FireFox]

You're not alone! There's a lot of us and we have many different styles. Feminine bisexual and lesbian women absolutely exist, they just don't get very good representation in standard media (nor do any lesbians for that matter.) I've always known I like women, but I still struggle often with the societal pressure to be straight. It's something I can never change though, it's who I am.

You're probably having some fear simply based off of the fact you haven't had the opportunity to see someone like yourself dating a woman before. Now that we have YouTube though, that's a great place to see that lesbian and bi women are out there living happy lives. I suggest starting with "Rose and Rosie".

@Whale_bones What country do you live in?
Where i live it is legal ( UK) but family disapprove of same sex relationships. They think it is digusting.

I never in my life thought i would be this way. It scares me.

I am girl who had a reputation at school for being a filrt. If i see a guy who is hot i will tell his is hot. I love being around guys. I do like mascunlity. I prefer maculine women though.

Being single for long( never had a boyfriend and i am still a virgin) i beginning to realise i want someone to love me for who i really am , take an interest in me and be there for me. I crave intimacy but i want it to be with someone special.

I realise now i am not ready for a relationship

I dont know what i want or who really i am.

I feel confused all the time
(What career i want, what to do next after graduating 10 months ago)

 

[Good4Nothing]

White wombs were earmarked by allah himself for muslim and samoan use

Women go lesbian whenever such men aren't around to keep their wombs safe from inferior seed

WTF?

 

[Whale_bones]

@Whale_bones What country do you live in?
Where i live it is legal ( UK) but family disapprove of same sex relationships. They think it is digusting.

I never in my life thought i would be this way. It scares me.

I live in the US. Having family who is against you must feel awful, but that's one excellent thing about being an adult; you don't need their approval. You may want it, and that's totally understandable, but you can be just as strong and secure without it. Your family can't decide you'll only be with a man. They all get the chance to fall in love with the person they want to try it with, why should you be denied that if your person happens to be another woman?

I'm not close with my parents, and though they don't have anything against my orientation, they don't like other things about me that I can't control, so I long ago had to accept that that's THEIR problem, not mine. I know, easier said than done!

On the one hand, sexuality is a big deal when you're coming to terms with it and accepting yourself. But on the other hand, it's totally not a big deal. It's completely natural to be somewhere on the spectrum other than straight, and it's just homophobia and religious fear that leads people to shut off their minds and blindly proclaim anything different than them (different than straight) is "wrong". I promise, there's absolutely nothing wrong with you

 

[mathieu]

I'm a gay male. It was very hard to come to terms with and it was happening at a time when I was first developing severe depression and anxiety at 15. I remember at 16 I OD'd on sleeping pills in the bath and in the psych ward they asked why. I just said "because I'm gay". I'm still not really comfortable in my own skin at 29 and feel some embarrassment about it.

 

[FireFox]

I live in the US. Having family who is against you must feel awful, but that's one excellent thing about being an adult; you don't need their approval. You may want it, and that's totally understandable, but you can be just as strong and secure without it. Your family can't decide you'll only be with a man. They all get the chance to fall in love with the person they want to try it with, why should you be denied that if your person happens to be another woman?

I'm not close with my parents, and though they don't have anything against my orientation, they don't like other things about me that I can't control, so I long ago had to accept that that's THEIR problem, not mine. I know, easier said than done!

On the one hand, sexuality is a big deal when you're coming to terms with it and accepting yourself. But on the other hand, it's totally not a big deal. It's completely natural to be somewhere on the spectrum other than straight, and it's just homophobia and religious fear that leads people to shut off their minds and blindly proclaim anything different than them (different than straight) is "wrong". I promise, there's absolutely nothing wrong with you ❤

@Whale_bones
Thanks you so much
Do you live in the bible belt states

I'm a gay male. It was very hard to come to terms with and it was happening at a time when I was first developing severe depression and anxiety at 15. I remember at 16 I OD'd on sleeping pills in the bath and in the psych ward they asked why. I just said "because I'm gay". I'm still not really comfortable in my own skin at 29 and feel some embarrassment about it.

@mathieu sorry i hope you find happiness. What a beautiful name you have. Mathieu is a french name i think.
Is that why you still want to ctb?
What country do you live in? Is it legal etc
I am more scared than embrassed over my sexual preferences.
Primarliy because all my life i liked men and now i realise i am open to dating women.
It is so scary

White wombs were earmarked by allah himself for muslim and samoan use

Women go lesbian whenever such men aren't around to keep their wombs safe from inferior seed

@Retry what are you talking about

 

[madgod]

This is embrassing and havent told anyone. I live in the UK

All my life i have been attracted to men( emotionally, sexually and physically). Often i would get crushed if guys didnt love me back. Growing up i can see myself getting married to man.

I am very feminine woman in terms of dressing ( wearing dresses , lipstick etc). I love being femmine.

More rescently i have been having desires and wanting to be with women. I am open to dating women

Being single for so long( never had relationship in my teens or university)
I realise now i want to be loved for who i am and desire intimacy regardless of sex. I want someone to really love me.

It is embrassing realising i am interested in both sexes.

It scares me because i have been attracted to men all my life. I dont want people thinking i am lesbian . I am not because men arouse me .

It more socially acceptable for men to have same sex relationships where as women are seen as there is something wrong with them


My family disporve of same sex relationships and are really religious

Any lesbian women or bi women is this normal?

When did you discover your sexuality and when did you know

sexuality is both fluid and temporary. through out my life my attractions (both sexual/physical and mental) have shifted around depending on where i am in life. it's not a bad thing and finding and understanding that openness isn't bad. i love the softness of a woman whIle i love the sharp edges that come from the men i'm attracted to. understanding what aspects appeal to you from either gender may bring a sense of peace.

I'm a gay male. It was very hard to come to terms with and it was happening at a time when I was first developing severe depression and anxiety at 15. I remember at 16 I OD'd on sleeping pills in the bath and in the psych ward they asked why. I just said "because I'm gay". I'm still not really comfortable in my own skin at 29 and feel some embarrassment about it.

queerness carries so much shame even today in an "open" society. it's scary to come face to face with let alone accept. stay strong. my first od was due to a similar situation and i became homeless at 18 after coming out as trans. the pain is real and valid yet also freeing to have even acknowledged such a thing in ones self.

WTF?

this can't possibly be real???

 

[autumnal]

White wombs were earmarked by allah himself for muslim and samoan use

Women go lesbian whenever such men aren't around to keep their wombs safe from inferior seed

Any lesbian women or bi women is this normal?

​

The fact that there are terms for this is a pretty good indication that it is normal

Other than that, agree with all the messages of support from those far more qualified than me to provide them.

 

[CompGay]

I knew i was gay all my life and I remember not thinking it was weird at all but when I was a kid I told my parents I liked a guy and they were so upset with me that I hid it for years and then junior year of hs I was outted to them and they screamed at me and called me a bunch of names. It made me feel really shameful and like I was doing something wrong but a couple of things helped me get out of this state. I learned about LGBT history and how people fought for our rights, spent time with other lgbt folk, kept saying "gay" until it stopped feeling like a slur.

 

[Whale_bones]

Thanks you so much
Do you live in the bible belt states

Fortunately, I don't live in the "Bible Belt" states! I actually live within an hour of a major city that is an extremely accepting place to be LGBTQ. When you're in that city, you can walk down the street holding hands with you girlfriend and not have to worry about getting bothered. There's rainbow flags around, businesses and churches have signs stating that gay people are welcome. It's totally normal to see a couple of the same gender and nobody treats them any differently. It's such a great environment. Now, I don't actually live there, I'm an hour away in the suburbs, where it's pretty rare to see an out gay couple in public. But every time I visit I'm reminded of what it's like to feel totally comfortable being out. I hope you get to experience visiting a city like that sometime.

 

[mouseteeth]

I have actually been dealing with similar issues myself.
I am nearly 30 and my experiences with men have been mostly negative to downright abusive. I have Asperger's and have a hard time seeing red flags and have been taken advantage of by my first partner when I was younger. It also doesn't help that I've been addicted browsing toxic websites like 4chan since my teens. If you know what I'm talking about, then you know. I've honestly become paranoid and untrusting of men because of some of the things I've read posted by users there.
I have found myself feeling attracted to/fantasizing about relationships with women a lot lately. But I'll probably just die alone lol.

 

[Mundi]

It scares me because i have been attracted to men all my life. I dont want people thinking i am lesbian . I am not because men arouse me .

I know it can be scary to realize things about your sexuality for the first time! I had my first same-sex thoughts when I was about 12 and it was absolutely not something that would have been accepted by my family. I've since had many relationships with both men and women.

There isn't anything wrong with people thinking you're lesbian! Most people would assume I am, since I'm very androgynous (as in, I am often mistaken for a man). The reality is that I am predominantly attracted to men, but I sincerely do not care if people think I'm a lesbian (I prefer it, actually, since the worst thing to me would be to not be recognized as queer).

It more socially acceptable for men to have same sex relationships where as women are seen as there is something wrong with them

This might be true in some cultures. I can only speak for my culture (U.S.), where I believe same-sex male relationships are seen as more "gross" and unacceptable than lesbian relationships. There's almost an expectation that women will "experiment" in college and that every woman is "at least a little bi" and most people are okay with that. Unfortunately, the acceptance is in part because many straight men think women-on-women action is hot.

On the other hand, there is a lot of invalidation of lesbians for other reasons - that you just need to find the right man, etc. So it sucks for both gay men and lesbians, but for different reasons. Men are seen as weaker and grosser, while women are seen as faking it for male attention.