Discussion Sex or Death: A Porn addiction

[bhav]

Does anyone else feel like one of the only things that can make them feel good is porn? It feels so good in the moment, but I need more and more to achieve the same high. It's sort of like a drug in that way, and the prolonged euphoria feels so good, but afterwards I get this overwhelming feeling that I am unworthy of life, and useless, that I don't deserve to be here. But I can't find meaning anywhere else, because nothing else makes me feel as good.

 

[Stan]

Sounds like an addiction. Have looked up porn addiction and how its treated?

 

[bhav]

Sounds like an addiction. Have looked up porn addiction and how its treated?

No, I haven't, I guess I'm too afraid to leave it behind because I don't know what I'll do to feel good without it.

 

[Stan]

Doesn't hurt to just look, down to you if you thought treatment would help improve your quality of life. Not sure if there is anything in your upbringing or culture that makes you ashamed of sex which you seem to describe as the root of your problem

 

[bhav]

Doesn't hurt to just look, down to you if you thought treatment would help improve your quality of life. Not sure if there is anything in your upbringing or culture that makes you ashamed of sex which you seem to describe as the root of your problem

I don't know about culture/upbringing but I guess society in general shames sex and sexual people

 

[Stan]

I think that is changing for sure in some countries, but I would suggest there are a bunch of conservative countries that have not moved an inch. When I think that in the UK being a homosexual was illegal in the 1960's and today same sex marriage is legal.

 

[bhav]

I think that is changing for sure in some countries, but I would suggest there are a bunch of conservative countries that have not moved an inch. When I think that in the UK being a homosexual was illegal in the 1960's and today same sex marriage is legal.

Agreed but even with institutional changes, society, especially older members of society wIll still hold their judgements and these will be passed on, for a long time. It's why sexism and homphobia and racism will never go away completly, they're ingrained in a way that is tied to how humans view each other. And I guess he same can be said about sexual behaviour.

 

[Stan]

Then I can only suggest forgiving yourself for looking at porn, you are hurting nobody by doing it and what you do in the privacy of your own room is your business and your business alone. I don't see anything wrong in what you are doing

 

[JimFord99]

Well, porn is sort of exploitation with money involved and not all is done by free will (some is, I can imagine) not just a choose mostly as a last resort, some by force or crime.

 

[262653]

Does anyone else feel like one of the only things that can make them feel good is porn? It feels so good in the moment, but I need more and more to achieve the same high. It's sort of like a drug in that way, and the prolonged euphoria feels so good, but afterwards I get this overwhelming feeling that I am unworthy of life, and useless, that I don't deserve to be here. But I can't find meaning anywhere else, because nothing else makes me feel as good.

Yeah, totally. What else can possibly make us feel just as good? Have you tried to stop when you get the feeling that you'll be coming soon? I tried and made it a habit over three days. It's like when you finally catch a firefly, it disappears, illusion dispels and you feel cheated, disappointed. But if you keep chasing delusional phantasms you get to feel good for quite a while :)

 

[RedAlert]

In Greek Mythology: Sisyphus. Sinner condemned in Tartarus to an eternity of rolling a boulder uphill then watching it roll back down again. - Mythweb.

I think pornography darkens the intellect and hardens heart. You begin to objectify women more, like you don't even acknowledge their souls anymore, its hard to explain. You should try to practice self control, try to talk yourself out of it when your about to view porn. List off the bad things that pornography makes you do or feel.

1. I don't want to be enslaved by the flesh (which can never be truly pleased)
2. Is there another way i can admire a women's/man's beauty without objectifying them.
3. If i go down this route, the boulder will just roll back down again and i will end up back to square one again with a horrible guilty feeling.
4. If i can't control this urge to watch porn, how do i know if i can control the urge to assault or kill my fellow man? Do i truly respect myself and my communities moral obligations?

I know its easier said than done, this is a very strong feeling and everyone struggles with it. You must work on self control, distraction and self respect.

 

[262653]

like you don't even acknowledge their souls anymore, its hard to explain

Oh, I would like if you could explain this part.

 

[bhav]

Yeah, totally. What else can possibly make us feel just as good? Have you tried to stop when you get the feeling that you'll be coming soon? I tried and made it a habit over three days. It's like when you finally catch a firefly, it disappears, illusion dispels and you feel cheated, disappointed. But if you keep chasing delusional phantasms you get to feel good for quite a while :)

Yeah, especially considering we are programmed to enjoy it, we need to reproduce, so the pleasure is there to encourage us to have sex, it's coded inside of us. I'll try that, it'll be difficult, but it's a good idea.

 

[Eren]

Yes, I watch porn since I was 14 years old and compulsively, I think it is also a way to forget my loneliness, besides I cannot have normal sexual relations with another person, that depresses me and is one of my reasons for CTB.

 

[Darkhaven]

I watch porn since i'm 13 or 14.
I used to go from times of intensive porn watching to times where i simply would stop watching for like 1 or 2 months.
On the last 2 years though, i have been getting increasingly addicted to it, even to the point of subscribing to a premium porn channel, and thus wasting money for the first time on my life on something like this.
It has been worthy though. I get tons of more quality videos, and for someone who normally jacks it off to porn at least 3 times per day that comes in handy, as the content tends to get repetitive.
I'm aware of some people who promote masturbation abstency and consider masturbation and porn as unhealthy for men's sex drive, as it gets you hooked to "porn-like sex" and makes you lose interest in "normal sex".
These "no fap" movements claim that porn makes your erections weaker and makes it harder to achieve erections.
I feel that's true and i fear that i may have fucked up my sex drive permanently. But why should that be a bad thing for someone who is barely capable of doing small talk let alone persuade a woman to fuck me?

 

[262653]

Oh, I thought by porn for a person you meant any media content that given person finds sexually arousing. I like talks, stories and pictures. Maybe touching, cuddling and rubbing against each other, but seeing people fuck in vivid details... I don' know. I find it gross for reason non-apparent.

 

[Blackjack]

This discussion should be in Offtopic, not Suicide.

 

[WilliamKline]

I know that porn is a very unpersonal form of sex - you're getting the feeling of having incredible sex - but you don't have to deal with the whole love, caring and kindness part. It might be a way to make yourself believe that it's just sex you need while actually you're looking for connection - of which physical connection is just one expression. Sex without love feels so very empty though

 

[MidLifeCrisis]

Get a prescription for an SSRI - that'll dampen your sex drive

 

[Seneca the Younger]

I am unable to have any sort of enjoyment from porn anymore. I just feel disgust about it now. I was addicted to it for 6 years and it fucked my brain up irreversibly.

 

[Rachel74]

I am unable to have any sort of enjoyment from porn anymore. I just feel disgust about it now. I was addicted to it for 6 years and it fucked my brain up irreversibly.

What was the main thing that made you stop?
I understand addiction and my partner loves porn and im glad as he's gets that release and I don't have to have sex with him as I've zero sex drive and I won't have sex just to please him as I'm doing something that I don't want to so porn is great for that.

 

[Rainbows43]

My husbands porn addiction is what has pushed me over the edge. 18 months of feeling lonely & unwanted to find out hes been masturbating daily to porn without asking me. Its lead to porn induced erectile dysfunction and he just isnt excited by me anymore.

 

[peacetoall]

Porn does not appeal to me. In the past when I looked at it, it would make me feel cold and empty. I don't like the images stuck in my head, I don't really like anything about it. I stay away from it because it does nothing good for me

 

[CursedForDisaster]

Does anyone else feel like one of the only things that can make them feel good is porn? It feels so good in the moment, but I need more and more to achieve the same high. It's sort of like a drug in that way, and the prolonged euphoria feels so good, but afterwards I get this overwhelming feeling that I am unworthy of life, and useless, that I don't deserve to be here. But I can't find meaning anywhere else, because nothing else makes me feel as good.

I've had this issue sine I was 12 and it's been gradually getting worse since. I hate myself and don't think I can ever change for the better.

Porn does not appeal to me. In the past when I looked at it, it would make me feel cold and empty. I don't like the images stuck in my head, I don't really like anything about it. I stay away from it because it does nothing good for me

It makes us feel cold and empty in a way too but it's also an escape

 

[tomz323]

Does anyone else feel like one of the only things that can make them feel good is porn? It feels so good in the moment, but I need more and more to achieve the same high. It's sort of like a drug in that way, and the prolonged euphoria feels so good, but afterwards I get this overwhelming feeling that I am unworthy of life, and useless, that I don't deserve to be here. But I can't find meaning anywhere else, because nothing else makes me feel as good.

Oh boy can I relate to this, the worst part is my weird fetishes I've had since childhood. I would look into Nofap, the times I had quit were great.

 

[magick'sgone]

Yourbrainonporn.com and nofap on reddit. There are also plenty of good books about it now. Give it a try, it might be the change you need. What have you got to lose?

 

[tomz323]

Yourbrainonporn.com and nofap on reddit. There are also plenty of good books about it now. Give it a try, it might be the change you need. What have you got to lose?

It is very challenging though, very interesting material too your brain on porn.

 

[Bathsheba]

There are ways to have a healthy relationship with porn, especially in a relationship. If my husband watches it when he goes away I really don't care.. what I don't know won't hurt me. He doesn't do it at home. I watch porn maybe once a week just for masturbation purposes, but I stick to the homemade stuff, like amateur porn. I need to see people who are actually enjoying themselves not acting for the camera. There are alternatives to the plastic Hollywood porn.

 

[drake4871]

While I don't think watching porn occasionally is unhealthy or something to look down upon, I do think if you're watching porn obsessively/addicted it could have a big negative impact on your life (based on personal experience). I used to be addicted to porn(most days) so when I quit(easier said than done) my life had a pretty big impact. I made more friends, I went out more, had sex a lot more often...

Try this, go make a paper list (don't need to label it porn if you need to be discrete) write down each day of the month; maker sure to write it ALL down more words the better "Tuesday, September 30th, 2019... Wednesday, Oct..." if you watch porn redo the ENTIRE list AND add an extra word to make each line longer and a bigger pain to write down again.

One more thing... you'll need something to replace that time you would've spent doing your thing. Preferably something you enjoy, or a new hobby you can work on whenever. Goodluck!

Msg me if you want to talk about it more lol