Sex Addiction / CTB

[awfullife]

I've recently been exploring glory holes. As a straight guy, I didnt know this was a thing IRL. anyways, I cant afford escorts anymore and girls dont give me the time of day so I may be going to a video arcade this weekend.

My fear is that afterwards I will experience tremendous shame which will further my CTB desires. It's been a hard fall for me. Thanks for reading.

 

[Meditation guide]

I've recently been exploring glory holes. As a straight guy, I didnt know this was a thing IRL. anyways, I cant afford escorts anymore and girls dont give me the time of day so I may be going to a video arcade this weekend.

My fear is that afterwards I will experience tremendous shame which will further my CTB desires. It's been a hard fall for me. Thanks for reading.

It doesn't sound like you want advice so I won't suggest anything aside from easing up on yourself as far as feeling shame. It's probably the least of your problems anyway. Give yourself a break from self judgement.

 

[Alwaysbadtime]

Don't do it if you know it's going to make you feel worse. Idk do what you want, but that's just my advice. It doesn't sound good.

 

[motel rooms]

My fear is that afterwards I will experience tremendous shame which will further my CTB desires. It's been a hard fall for me.

I'm a sex addict too & I'm definitely not judging you, but there's no point in sugarcoating it - you'll definitely experience shame, especially since you're straight. I'm gay & I know that exploring glory holes would be dangerous for my fragile mental health. Doesn't porn do anything for you anymore? Try using a Fleshlight, you'll get more of an illusion of having sex with a woman if you insert your penis in a good toy than in some random guy's orifices. Don't destabilize yourself for ten minutes of pleasure...

 

[awfullife]

I'm a sex addict too & I'm definitely not judging you, but there's no point in sugarcoating it - you'll definitely experience shame, especially since you're straight. I'm gay & I know that exploring glory holes would be dangerous for my fragile mental health. Doesn't porn do anything for you anymore? Try using a Fleshlight, you'll get more of an illusion of having sex with a woman if you insert your penis in a good toy than in some random guy's orifices. Don't destabilize yourself for ten minutes of pleasure...

You are probably right. I guess I've just always been interested / intrigued by risky sexual experiences and when I found out they were real, I tried to convince myself that maybe I would see a couple there and I could fuck his wife. Then the next step was saying to myself, if I cant see who's on the other side, then it doesnt matter.

Mostly when i visit escorts I just want it to last forever - especially the ones I'm into. Then after 15 min of screwing I finish and I wonder why I just paid 200 bucks for that. Plus I hate condoms. They suck. Now some of the escorts are letting me do them without condoms. It's getting a little off the rails here....
Thanks for listening. I never thought I would be getting sound advice from suicide friends but that is indeed the case. Thx

Don't do it if you know it's going to make you feel worse. Idk do what you want, but that's just my advice. It doesn't sound good.

Thx you are kind.

It doesn't sound like you want advice so I won't suggest anything aside from easing up on yourself as far as feeling shame. It's probably the least of your problems anyway. Give yourself a break from self judgement.

It's hard to do sometimes. Thanks though.

 

[motel rooms]

Mostly when i visit escorts I just want it to last forever - especially the ones I'm into. Then after 15 min of screwing I finish and I wonder why I just paid 200 bucks for that.

Yeah, I just want it to last forever too, & every encounter is disappointing because no amount of sex is ever enough. Sexual gratification is the only thing that makes my brain experience pleasure.

 

[gottago222]

You are probably right. I guess I've just always been interested / intrigued by risky sexual experiences and when I found out they were real, I tried to convince myself that maybe I would see a couple there and I could fuck his wife. Then the next step was saying to myself, if I cant see who's on the other side, then it doesnt matter.

Mostly when i visit escorts I just want it to last forever - especially the ones I'm into. Then after 15 min of screwing I finish and I wonder why I just paid 200 bucks for that. Plus I hate condoms. They suck. Now some of the escorts are letting me do them without condoms. It's getting a little off the rails here....
Thanks for listening. I never thought I would be getting sound advice from suicide friends but that is indeed the case. Thx

Thx you are kind.

It's hard to do sometimes. Thanks though.

my dude please go to the doctor! unless u want a slow ctb from hiv/aids

 

[motel rooms]

my dude please go to the doctor! unless u want a slow ctb from hiv/aids

He doesn't live in a poor African country...

 

[gottago222]

He doesn't live in a poor African country...

uuhhhh idk if you know but sex workers have sex with multiple men a day...and if they had sex with him unprotected, theres a very good chance they did it with MANY other people. hes nothing special. hiv/aids isnt just in africa. i heard theres a lot of possitve people in atlanta ... and all over north america

 

[Noctis]

uuhhhh idk if you know but sex workers have sex with multiple men a day...and if they had sex with him unprotected, theres a very good chance they did it with MANY other people. hes nothing special. hiv/aids isnt just in africa. i heard theres a lot of possitve people in atlanta ... and all over north america

You're not wrong that HIV is in every country, and it's true that rawdogging a prostitute is definitely risky.

But statistically, as long as you aren't hanging around a drug den, HIV isn't your main concern. Most HIV transmissions in the US are from sharing needles or meth-fueled orgies.

 

[amiaghola]

uuhhhh idk if you know but sex workers have sex with multiple men a day...and if they had sex with him unprotected, theres a very good chance they did it with MANY other people. hes nothing special. hiv/aids isnt just in africa. i heard theres a lot of possitve people in atlanta ... and all over north america

Not that HIV isn't a concern, it just isn't a death sentence in the developed world because the treatments are so effective that people can have low viral loads to the point at which they are deemed "undetectable" and carry a sub-1% chance of transmitting the virus.

There are many other, non-HIV, related concerns here though.

OP, I too went through a period of engaging with prostitutes and I also felt terrible afterwards. I feel you & wish you the ability to "not be so hard on yourself," although I know from my own experience how impossible that is. Since it's been 7 months since your OP, what has your experience been like?

 

[subj]

Every time I have sex wich for me is dirty , painful nd hopelesly demeaning I feel terribl. I do find that the sooner I can get into something that fill s my attention I can feel beter. If I can do some positiv4e or good things then I can remind myself that instead of focus on being so terrible i can also do some good things. While that may not be what you find helpful it does work for me.

 

[Chaestergram]

It's completely okay to have a high sex drive, I am like this and please myself most of the time even tho I have a partner but can't keep up with me. Learn to embrace that and to accept this part of yourself, once you will believe me you will feel so much better, that's what I did as I used to feel extremely uneasy with myself back then when it comes to that but now that I had accepted the fact that sex plays a huge part in my life i have absolutely no shame.

 

[motel rooms]

It's completely okay to have a high sex drive

Yeah, it is, but having a high sex drive isn't the same thing as suffering from sexually compulsive behavior.

uuhhhh idk if you know but sex workers have sex with multiple men a day...and if they had sex with him unprotected, theres a very good chance they did it with MANY other people. hes nothing special. hiv/aids isnt just in africa.

People in developed countries are no longer dying from AIDS. Also, look up PrEP & PEP. PrEP (pre-exposure prophylaxis) reduces the risk of getting HIV from sex by 99%. Many sex workers & gay men in the developed world are on PrEP. PEP is post-exposure prophylaxis.

 

[awfullife]

Not that HIV isn't a concern, it just isn't a death sentence in the developed world because the treatments are so effective that people can have low viral loads to the point at which they are deemed "undetectable" and carry a sub-1% chance of transmitting the virus.

There are many other, non-HIV, related concerns here though.

OP, I too went through a period of engaging with prostitutes and I also felt terrible afterwards. I feel you & wish you the ability to "not be so hard on yourself," although I know from my own experience how impossible that is. Since it's been 7 months since your OP, what has your experience been like?

I've been doing ok. I still have periods of time where I download grindr and text people but I always puss out. I'm still seeing escorts but more like sugar babies where we have an ongoing thing. I'm not very happy at the moment but what can I do. Thanks for all your thoughtful comments and advice.

 

[summers]

People in developed countries are no longer dying from AIDS. Also, look up PrEP & PEP. PrEP (pre-exposure prophylaxis) reduces the risk of getting HIV from sex by 99%. Many sex workers & gay men in the developed world are on PrEP. PEP is post-exposure prophylaxis.

Prep or not, please don't fuck strangers without a condom. There are probably 50 other STDs that will make you hate life if you get them. If someone insists on no condom, chances are they're a walking petri dish of infections.

 

[motel rooms]

Ofc I always use a condom.

 

[summers]

Ofc I always use a condom.

My comment was not directed to you at all. You're have been around plenty to know what you're doing. But I have had some people ask me if just prep is enough. It's scary when people have no idea what they're getting into.