Venting Severely depressed parent

[Breadbfra]

So my father who's been tremendously emotionally destroyed by covid19 admitted two days ago that "he isn't okay".
I had a happy, always joyful dad. He would sing everyday at 6 am 70s songs, always making jokes. Now he lies 24/7 on his bed, doesn't answer, doesn't eat, doesn't wash his hair. He lost 20 kgs.
He even started to say nosense things, so I have to treat him like a baby sometimes.
I'm honestly afraid he could ctb at some point, if we go back into another lockdown. I don't blame him, mental illnesses have always ran in our family, except for my mom. But I'm the saddest I could have ever been, Covid19 destroyed all my hard built happiness.

By the way, do you have a suicidal or heavily depressed parent? How do you cope? Are you the depressed parent?

 

[Ghost2211]

Has he gone to a neurologist? I'm sorry both your father and yourself are going through this.

 

[Breadbfra]

Has he gone to a neurologist? I'm sorry both your father and yourself are going through this.

We're planning to but he keeps dismissing it.

 

[Ghost2211]

We're planning to but he keeps dismissing it.

If he is speaking nonsense he needs to.

 

[Breadbfra]

If he is speaking nonsense he needs to.

Unfortunately we know that...we absoloutely need. I've been away for 10 days and I left my empty purse in the back of my car (non used when I'm away), and today he kept repeating "take the purse away from the car, take the purse away from the car" many times and I was like? What's the point, it's been there for the last 10 days and It's empty...

 

[Wisdom3_1-9]

My mom has always had a zest for life, regardless of how challenging it has been, and she has had some very significant challenges. Her deeply held religious beliefs prevent her from even contemplating suicide, I believe.

That being said, if she expressed to me now, at the age of 70, that she wanted to end her life, I would welcome the news and probably ask if we could go through with it together, to ease both of our suffering. Her wanting it for herself may not necessarily equate to her approval of me doing it, so who knows?

You mentioned "fearing" him committing suicide. What scares you, exactly? I ask because I assume you are here because you believe in people's choice to end their own lives. It's interesting to consider how we react to those we know expressing the same thought. It gives us a window into how others might react to our desires. It sounds as if you wouldn't want your father to ctb. Could you elaborate a bit on how it might affect you?

(And to be clear, I'm not being confrontational, so my apologies if it came off that way. I just think it's really interesting observing our own reactions to those we love wanting to ctb.)

 

[Breadbfra]

My mom has always had a zest for life, regardless of how challenging it has been, and she has had some very significant challenges. Her deeply held religious beliefs prevent her from even contemplating suicide, I believe.

That being said, if she expressed to me now, at the age of 70, that she wanted to end her life, I would welcome the news and probably ask if we could go through with it together, to ease both of our suffering. Her wanting it for herself may not necessarily equate to her approval of me doing it, so who knows?

You mentioned "fearing" him committing suicide. What scares you, exactly? I ask because I assume you are here because you believe in people's choice to end their own lives. It's interesting to consider how we react to those we know expressing the same thought. It gives us a window into how others might react to our desires. It sounds as if you wouldn't want your father to ctb. Could you elaborate a bit on how it might affect you?

(And to be clear, I'm not being confrontational, so my apologies if it came off that way. I just think it's really interesting observing our own reactions to those we love wanting to ctb.)

First of all, I'm sorry for what happened to your mother, and for your suffering too.
With that being siad, I'd probably take my father to Switzerland to get assisted suicide if his depression was chronic or impossible to handle (as he's doing right now). I want to get him the best cure he can have, and I want him to be at least better that he is now. If that doesn't happen, then I won't be sad for him passing away.
I think it's a normal reaction.
Yes, I do believe everyone has the right to ctb, but at the same time I believe everyone has the right to heal or at least get better and seek for a better future. If that doesn't happen, again, I'd be happy to bring him to a peaceful journey if he wishes too, but I'd like not to be too catastrophic.

 

[Ghost2211]

Unfortunately we know that...we absoloutely need. I've been away for 10 days and I left my empty purse in the back of my car (non used when I'm away), and today he kept repeating "take the purse away from the car, take the purse away from the car" many times and I was like? What's the point, it's been there for the last 10 days and It's empty...

Watching a parent deteriorate neurologically is a bit different than what those with depress parents will deal with. I hope your family is banding together since it can be pretty heavy.. my grandma is dealing with that as well. She will ask me what I'm cooking for dinner 5 times in a 30 min conversation, and she falls and gets lost of left alone. I'm sorry friend. My heart goes out to you.

 

[Breadbfra]

Watching a parent deteriorate neurologically is a bit different than what those with depress parents will deal with. I hope your family is banding together since it can be pretty heavy.. my grandma is dealing with that as well. She will ask me what I'm cooking for dinner 5 times in a 30 min conversation, and she falls and gets lost of left alone. I'm sorry friend. My heart goes out to you.

I think he fell into depression and has some neurological issues due to his age too (almost 70)...

 

[CrazyMary]

I had my father deteriorate and die from a neurological disease, it was hell. He survived for 18 years. I am shure he had also personality disorder and depression. My mom has suffered depression for along time too, so it runs in the family. The only advice I could give you is try to get them see a doctor. As you said you are working on it. Do it even if they don´t want to.

 

[Breadbfra]

I had my father deteriorate and die from a neurological disease, it was hell. He survived for 18 years. I am shure he had also personality disorder and depression. My mom has suffered depression for along time too, so it runs in the family. The only advice I could give you is try to get them see a doctor. As you said you are working on it. Do it even if they don´t want to.

I'm sorry for what you went through. How are you right now?

We're planning to go get him visited very soon. In a week, I suppose.

 

[Futile]

Sadly things are only gonna get worse I fear, the second wave is coming

 

[Breadbfra]

Sadly things are only gonna get worse I fear, the second wave is coming

He started worsening a lot at the beginning of the second wave

 

[CrazyMary]

I'm sorry for what you went through. How are you right now?

We're planning to go get him visited very soon. In a week, I suppose.

Taking care of my mom now or she takes care of me ? Don´t really know. I hope it works next week when u guys go to the Dr. Try to continue with your life as normal as you can. I don´t mean Covid wise, but after this is over. Don´t let taking care of your parents be the main goal in your life, unless you really want it.

 

[Lupgevif]

I have a depressed dad. How bad is he? I don't know, he never talks about it, but I know he lives pretending he's better than he really is.