Severe traumatic experience

[Whitewash11235814]

Many may discredit my experience as psychosis, but I'm 110% sure it wasn't psychosis. At least that's not what started and continued it. Other humans partook in this evil and cruel "game".
My family is falling apart because I can't trust them anymore.
It all started on FB playing some cryptic games w others w text. Then at one point It progressed to real life. I was becoming anxious and at one point I typed in FB chat " I think my accs and email are hacked" and at that split second everything went out. My Facebook literally froze and then it logged me out. Couldn't log in afterwards. At one point I went downstairs to watch TV...And names that I knew popped up on the screen. Long story short, I admitted myself to a ward since it was too much for me. When I first entered the ward, I saw 2 individuals my age on a table eating Cheetos with one eye closed. Their attention was on me. They proceeded to tell me things about me they shouldn't have known. I've never EVER had this type of experience in a ward and I've been hospitalized numerous times prior. They were telling me things like " it's illuminati" and that only got me more paranoid. It was such a bizarre experience. So much strange stuff happened there. They were telling me personal details about me that took place years ago! And they were complete strangers but yet they acted as if they knew me. It was a TRULY terrifying experience that will forever continue to terrorize me till the day I die. The worst part of it all the staff at the psyche unit understood what was taking place. One lady with a jersey told the group therapist " are you in this or not?" once I started telling them that they'll likely go to hell for terrorizing me and trying to cover it up. But the people there seemed remorseless or otherwise lacked complete understanding of what I was going through.

During this experience, my step-dad gave me a call and told me " Sorry, you were a guinea pig." Now he denies ever saying it. Pathetic human being. This is barely a gist of my experience. Not long ago someone from FB told me " We know you've been in a psyche ward! We had you monitored!" And that was the same group of people on FB where it all started. It was beyond cruel. I hope they feel happy knowing they severely impacted my life in a negative way, killed my relationship and trust w my parents, and pretty much never gave me any sort of closure or explanation.

the world is filled with sick people.

 

[SpottedPanda]

As somewhat of a psychosis connoisseur myself, I'd hazard a guess that you might feel differently with some effective meds, but I sympathise, genuinely.

 

[Whitewash11235814]

@SpottedPanda it wasn't psychosis however hard it may be to believe me.
It's not taking place anymore ofc... So there's no "psychosis ". Memories stay with u though.

 

[SpottedPanda]

I know where you're coming from. I went in in 2018 thinking I was a prophet, and to my astonishment there was another prophet in there, from another religion.

Your experience is valid for you, and I can't say for certain what's going on. At least you're free from physical harm, it seems.

 

[Whitewash11235814]

@SpottedPanda one guy from the psyche unit with whom I exchanged numbers told me "We made a mistake. You'll get over it."

 

[SpottedPanda]

@SpottedPanda one guy from the psyche unit with whom I exchanged numbers told me "We made a mistake. You'll get over it."

People say the weirdest thing on the wards. The things I've heard it'd be hard to believe.

 

[Whitewash11235814]

@SpottedPanda i can assure you it wasn't psychosis. Since you didnt see it unfold through my lens, you'll either have to trust my judgment or think as u wish. I understand it seems improbable but I guess im an outlier in that sense.
@SpottedPanda I can assure it wasn't that type of weird. Trust.

 

[stillweary]

I had a lot of really...weird... stuff happen to me, too. It's odd because what is happening to you is immediately dismissed without a second thought by people who have never experienced it before. Lots of people who have had similar experiences are slapped with the label "psychosis," but the content of their psychotic experiences are very, very similar. I wouldn't expect there to be so much overlap between peoples' experiences if it was a brain disease that was causing it. To each their own, I suppose.

 

[profoundexperience]

That was a traumatic experience and I'm so glad it was ~kinda/somewhat short — and I'm especially glad that the experience itself is now over.

I've been trying to imagine what I might do if I were ever in that situation/experience.... As far as I can think it through, imho, when all that stuff was happening you handled it quite well, don't you think? I mean, it did seem like you were able to remain pretty relaxed/calm/chill. I don't know if I would have had the strength/ability to do that. I admire that you were able to. And, I think you were quite right to check-in to a ward.... At very least, you're sending a message that the current situation is messed-up and not acceptable. Checking-in to a ward, by your own choice, was probably wisely asserting your control over things.

And now, you're dealing with the aftermath/memories of the experience: If someone were able to give you really helpful advice to address this part... what do you think that advice might be? (Since I didn't have your experience, I can't presume to know.... So I'm asking as much to help me better understand/help myself as to help you.)

 

[KiraComplex]

Many may discredit my experience as psychosis, but I'm 110% sure it wasn't psychosis. At least that's not what started and continued it. Other humans partook in this evil and cruel "game".
My family is falling apart because I can't trust them anymore.
It all started on FB playing some cryptic games w others w text. Then at one point It progressed to real life. I was becoming anxious and at one point I typed in FB chat " I think my accs and email are hacked" and at that split second everything went out. My Facebook literally froze and then it logged me out. Couldn't log in afterwards. At one point I went downstairs to watch TV...And names that I knew popped up on the screen. Long story short, I admitted myself to a ward since it was too much for me. When I first entered the ward, I saw 2 individuals my age on a table eating Cheetos with one eye closed. Their attention was on me. They proceeded to tell me things about me they shouldn't have known. I've never EVER had this type of experience in a ward and I've been hospitalized numerous times prior. They were telling me things like " it's illuminati" and that only got me more paranoid. It was such a bizarre experience. So much strange stuff happened there. They were telling me personal details about me that took place years ago! And they were complete strangers but yet they acted as if they knew me. It was a TRULY terrifying experience that will forever continue to terrorize me till the day I die. The worst part of it all the staff at the psyche unit understood what was taking place. One lady with a jersey told the group therapist " are you in this or not?" once I started telling them that they'll likely go to hell for terrorizing me and trying to cover it up. But the people there seemed remorseless or otherwise lacked complete understanding of what I was going through.

During this experience, my step-dad gave me a call and told me " Sorry, you were a guinea pig." Now he denies ever saying it. Pathetic human being. This is barely a gist of my experience. Not long ago someone from FB told me " We know you've been in a psyche ward! We had you monitored!" And that was the same group of people on FB where it all started. It was beyond cruel. I hope they feel happy knowing they severely impacted my life in a negative way, killed my relationship and trust w my parents, and pretty much never gave me any sort of closure or explanation.

the world is filled with sick people.

speaking from the outside (i dont suffer from it), how similar is this experience from other episodes you were certain they were, well an episode?
sorry you had to go through that.

 

[autumnal]

Many may discredit my experience as psychosis, but I'm 110% sure it wasn't psychosis. At least that's not what started and continued it. Other humans partook in this evil and cruel "game".
My family is falling apart because I can't trust them anymore.
It all started on FB playing some cryptic games w others w text. Then at one point It progressed to real life. I was becoming anxious and at one point I typed in FB chat " I think my accs and email are hacked" and at that split second everything went out. My Facebook literally froze and then it logged me out. Couldn't log in afterwards. At one point I went downstairs to watch TV...And names that I knew popped up on the screen. Long story short, I admitted myself to a ward since it was too much for me. When I first entered the ward, I saw 2 individuals my age on a table eating Cheetos with one eye closed. Their attention was on me. They proceeded to tell me things about me they shouldn't have known. I've never EVER had this type of experience in a ward and I've been hospitalized numerous times prior. They were telling me things like " it's illuminati" and that only got me more paranoid. It was such a bizarre experience. So much strange stuff happened there. They were telling me personal details about me that took place years ago! And they were complete strangers but yet they acted as if they knew me. It was a TRULY terrifying experience that will forever continue to terrorize me till the day I die. The worst part of it all the staff at the psyche unit understood what was taking place. One lady with a jersey told the group therapist " are you in this or not?" once I started telling them that they'll likely go to hell for terrorizing me and trying to cover it up. But the people there seemed remorseless or otherwise lacked complete understanding of what I was going through.

During this experience, my step-dad gave me a call and told me " Sorry, you were a guinea pig." Now he denies ever saying it. Pathetic human being. This is barely a gist of my experience. Not long ago someone from FB told me " We know you've been in a psyche ward! We had you monitored!" And that was the same group of people on FB where it all started. It was beyond cruel. I hope they feel happy knowing they severely impacted my life in a negative way, killed my relationship and trust w my parents, and pretty much never gave me any sort of closure or explanation.

the world is filled with sick people.

Could one or two of those things have actually happened, either through someone's deliberate actions to distress you or via totally accidental and benign coincidence? Yes. Could all of those things have happened in real life? No. Definitely psychosis, I'm afraid. That explanation leaps out both psychiatrically but also in terms of simple probability.

I had a lot of really...weird... stuff happen to me, too. It's odd because what is happening to you is immediately dismissed without a second thought by people who have never experienced it before. Lots of people who have had similar experiences are slapped with the label "psychosis," but the content of their psychotic experiences are very, very similar. I wouldn't expect there to be so much overlap between peoples' experiences if it was a brain disease that was causing it. To each their own, I suppose.

There's actually nothing unusual or unexpected about individual psychotic experiences having a lot in common. They are just an interplay between physical areas of the brain and/or levels of neurotransmitters, the associated thoughts and feelings, and the interpretation of these via an individual's own particular psychosocial framework.

So for example certain conditions can affect levels of certain neurotransmitters in the brain, the affected area of the brain might govern attribution of causes (i.e. paranoia) and then the resulting feelings of paranoia are then interpreted in light of that person's own experience and surroundings. So these days, paranoia may commonly be attributed to being monitored on the internet. Fifty years ago, the dominant belief might have been surveillance through television sets. A hundred years ago, there were probably more delusions around being spied on or gossiped about in person.

As somewhat of a psychosis connoisseur myself, I'd hazard a guess that you might feel differently with some effective meds, but I sympathise, genuinely.

This is the most brilliantly diplomatic response ever!

 

[stillweary]

As someone who has been diagnosed with psychosis, you know what would have helped me the most? Someone listening. Not saying, "Your brain is broken. Here, take some pills and never talk about it again," especially when the "science" behind psychotic diagnoses is so faulty and the pills to shut psychotic experiences down are so dangerous. Perhaps if someone had listened, I wouldn't be posting here. Our world needs a profound change, one that is so dramatic that it may begin with the shattering of one's psyche. Other cultures throughout time and history have accepted and incorporated this, but today, Jesus and the Buddha would be locked up, along with all of the other sages. They would be called crazy by the billions of so-called religious folks who profess to actually believe in this stuff. The traumas of psychotic people are not being addressed, and the wisdom they have to share as a result of experiencing this world far, far differently than most people isn't being organized in a cohesive way as a result of that trauma. Everything is just going to continue being swept under the rug in the name of psychology. Suicidal people already know what that's like. It shouldn't be a stretch to recognize that many psychotic people often feel the same way.

 

[Whitewash11235814]

You know...certain people here know my story. I don't know wanna throw names out, but some people in chat KNOW what happened to me. They DON'T have to take my word for it.
And yes, if I were an outsider i'd likely think it's psychosis too. Once again, I am 110% sure it wasn't. I even texted one person from my ward there and he said, "Sorry, we made a mistake." when I asked about what happened. Anyway, some people HERE KNOW meaning they don't have to take my 2 cents.
The slaughter was public, believe it or not.

 

[Aap]

What slaughter? Can you share what Facebook group you were referring to?